I survived without having to slit my wrists!

Jeff in TXJeff in TX Senior MemberPosts: 1,196 Senior Member
Since the new ranch house isn't done we're still living in the small 900 sq foot house on the ranch. My wife planned for a ladies weekend months ago thinking the new house would be done...WRONG! This past weekend we had nine of her co-workers out and no place for me to escape! I thought about my tent but it was in storage a long with most everything I own. Friday night the screaming dance music on the front porch didn't shut off until after 2 am. Did I ever tell y'all just how much I hate dance music. Then they came in to get ready for bed beyond three sheets to the wind! They were almost as loud as the dance music. Saturday I played tour and fishing guide and we even went out for a night time hog hunt. Not that we were going to shoot anything with all the hen cackling going on as we walked. Saturday night was a repeat of Friday night. Up dancing until 2 am. I tried to escape to church on Sunday morning but found myself being the "Camp Crazy Ladies" cook.

A few packed up and headed home...but not all of them. I was really hoping for a relaxing afternoon to lay around and do nothing. Nope, the remaining bunch wanted to 4-wheel around the ranch and hunt deer in the evening. I did make them all go get hunting licenses. Now I had half crazy women who some shot a rifle for the first time that afternoon on the rifle range all headed out with high power rifles to deer hunt. I went an sat in my neighbors box blind with the video camera. Thank goodness no one shot at deer or anything else.

They got back from hunting and all of the remaining women packed up and headed home. I made nacho's and sat down and watched TV. My wife was worn out and in bed at 8:30.

I'm telling you folks it was touch and go there for a while! I did survive and I didn't slit my wrist! :bang::bang::bang:
Distance is not an issue, but the wind can make it interesting!

John 3: 1-21
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Comments

  • Wambli SkaWambli Ska Moderator Posts: 25,392 Senior Member
    Dude, the chances of my wife putting me in a situation where I'm surrounded by 9 drunk partying chicks are on the negative side of ZERO!!! The whole party would have been swimming nekked in your "pond" by 10:00pm!

    :rotflmao:
    "Attack rapidly, ruthlessly, viciously, without rest, however tired and hungry you may be, the enemy will be more tired, more hungry. Keep punching." General George S. Patton
  • bullsi1911bullsi1911 Moderator Posts: 9,068 Senior Member
    You have a truck. You have a place to sleep
    To make something simple is a thousand times more difficult than to make something complex.
    -Mikhail Kalashnikov
  • cpjcpj Senior Member Posts: 37,050 Senior Member
    I'm smart enough to know that the best place for me to be in that situation is as far away as I can possibly be.
    "I'm here for the guns, hunting, and skirt wearing men."
    Zee
  • Jeff in TXJeff in TX Senior Member Posts: 1,196 Senior Member
    cpj wrote: »
    I'm smart enough to know that the best place for me to be in that situation is as far away as I can possibly be.

    Yep lessons learned! I had totally forgotten about the ladies weekend until midway through the week when she told me we'd have a house full! No place to run or hide...darn it all!
    Distance is not an issue, but the wind can make it interesting!

    John 3: 1-21
  • NNNN Senior Member Posts: 22,763 Senior Member
    I'm too old, don't want to hear of it.
    I have a need for speed
  • cpjcpj Senior Member Posts: 37,050 Senior Member
    Jeff in TX wrote: »
    Yep lessons learned! I had totally forgotten about the ladies weekend until midway through the week when she told me we'd have a house full! No place to run or hide...darn it all!

    You've got a truck. You had options man!
    "I'm here for the guns, hunting, and skirt wearing men."
    Zee
  • Farm Boy DeuceFarm Boy Deuce Senior Member Posts: 5,895 Senior Member
    cpj wrote: »
    You've got a truck. You had options man!

    Seriously. Sleeping under a bridge would have been better.
    I am afraid we forget sometime that the basic and simple things brings us the most pleasure.
    Dad 5-31-13
  • jaywaptijaywapti Senior Member Posts: 4,147 Senior Member
    At the first warning of an impending disaster , i would have left for parts unknown , sorry honey i forget my cell phone.

    JAY
    THE DEFINITION OF GUN CONTROL IS HITTING THE TARGET WITH YOUR FIRST SHOT
  • JayJay Senior Member Posts: 2,850 Senior Member
    cpj wrote: »
    You've got a truck. You had options man!

    That being the case, he actually enjoyed it. Just won’t admit it...:jester:
  • Jeff in TXJeff in TX Senior Member Posts: 1,196 Senior Member
    Jay wrote: »
    That being the case, he actually enjoyed it. Just won’t admit it...:jester:

    That's just plain hurtful and spreading lies! I almost got PTSD from this past weekend! Could take years to recover!
    Distance is not an issue, but the wind can make it interesting!

    John 3: 1-21
  • CHIRO1989CHIRO1989 Senior Member Posts: 9,465 Senior Member
    Jeff in TX wrote: »
    That's just plain hurtful and spreading lies! I almost got PTSD from this past weekend! Could take years to recover!

    Sober guy + Partying Women + video recording device= Leverage for just about anything

    Snooze ya lose:jester:
    I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that they turn away from their ways and live. Eze 33:11
  • SpkSpk Senior Member Posts: 1,121 Senior Member
    CHIRO1989 wrote: »
    Sober guy + Partying Women + video recording device= Leverage for just about anything

    Snooze ya lose:jester:

    Also know as a Get Out of Jail Free Card.

    Seriously, Liquored up woman, high-powered rifles and partying till 2 in the morning............30 years ago this would've been a dream weekend.
    :love::hug::love:
    "Facts are stubborn things and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passions, they cannot alter the state of the facts and evidence" — John Adams
  • Jeff in TXJeff in TX Senior Member Posts: 1,196 Senior Member
    Spk wrote: »
    Also know as a Get Out of Jail Free Card.

    Seriously, Liquored up woman, high-powered rifles and partying till 2 in the morning............30 years ago this would've been a dream weekend.
    :love::hug::love:

    As a side note, I told them all anyone who wanted to hunt that evening couldn't drink after 1 pm. After two nights of partying hard no one drank on Sunday. Mainly most had severe headaches!
    Distance is not an issue, but the wind can make it interesting!

    John 3: 1-21
  • orchidmanorchidman Senior Member Posts: 7,349 Senior Member
    I am glad you didnt suffer too much.

    In case the circumstances arise again, just let me know the date and I will fly over to 'cover your back' so to speak.

    9 women who like alcohol, dance music, guns and hunting...............all in the same place together must have been a real hardship. I am prepared to make the sacrifice brother.
    Still enjoying the trip of a lifetime and making the best of what I have.....
  • SIGgalSIGgal Senior Member Posts: 1,660 Senior Member
    Oh my God, sounds like so much fun! If you have an 8 foot bed that never has to be made, you are ahead of the game Jeff lol. I thought a houseful of drunk girls was every mans dream tho lol.
    "Marriage is a hunting permit that allows you only one dear at a time"
  • bullsi1911bullsi1911 Moderator Posts: 9,068 Senior Member
    SIGgal wrote: »
    Oh my God, sounds like so much fun! If you have an 8 foot bed that never has to be made, you are ahead of the game Jeff lol. I thought a houseful of drunk girls was every mans dream tho lol.

    Only when you are single.
    To make something simple is a thousand times more difficult than to make something complex.
    -Mikhail Kalashnikov
  • cpjcpj Senior Member Posts: 37,050 Senior Member
    bullsi1911 wrote: »
    Only when you are single.

    Yep.
    The married man says "I wish these drunkass women would go home so I could get laid/eat a sammich/go to bed.
    "I'm here for the guns, hunting, and skirt wearing men."
    Zee
  • zorbazorba Senior Member Posts: 15,657 Senior Member
    bullsi1911 wrote: »
    Only when you are single.

    Yep, pretty much. I've been subjected to "feral women" a few times as a Belly Dancer - I've taken refuge backstage or in the dressing room on more than one occasion. *shudder*
    -Zorba, "The Veiled Male"

    Carry a 25 if it makes you feel good, but do not ever load it. If you load it, you may shoot it. If you shoot it, you may hit somebody, and if you hit somebody – and he finds out about it – he may be very angry with you. --Jeff Cooper
  • zorbazorba Senior Member Posts: 15,657 Senior Member
    cpj wrote: »
    Yep.
    The married man says "I wish these drunkass women would go home so I could get laid/eat a sammich/go to bed.

    :agree::that:
    -Zorba, "The Veiled Male"

    Carry a 25 if it makes you feel good, but do not ever load it. If you load it, you may shoot it. If you shoot it, you may hit somebody, and if you hit somebody – and he finds out about it – he may be very angry with you. --Jeff Cooper
  • orchidmanorchidman Senior Member Posts: 7,349 Senior Member
    cpj wrote: »
    Yep.
    The married man says "I wish these drunkass women would go home so I could get laid/eat a sammich/go to bed.

    Except in some cases only 2 & 3 apply.............
    Still enjoying the trip of a lifetime and making the best of what I have.....
  • Jeff in TXJeff in TX Senior Member Posts: 1,196 Senior Member
    cpj wrote: »
    Yep.
    The married man says "I wish these drunkass women would go home so I could get laid/eat a sammich/go to bed.

    Yep, Amen to that!:agree:
    Distance is not an issue, but the wind can make it interesting!

    John 3: 1-21
  • knitepoetknitepoet Senior Member Posts: 16,799 Senior Member
    cpj wrote: »
    Yep.
    The married man says "I wish these drunkass women would go home so I could get laid/eat a sammich/go to bed.
    The old "3 steps to make a man happy"

    Put much more politely than the original "Feed us, us, or put us to bed"
    Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pirates, Rule #37: There is no “overkill”. There is only “open fire” and “I need to reload”.


  • Wambli SkaWambli Ska Moderator Posts: 25,392 Senior Member
    CHIRO1989 wrote: »
    Sober guy + Partying Women + video recording device= Leverage for just about anything

    Snooze ya lose:jester:
    This! The possibilities for embarrassment and entertainment are endless!
    "Attack rapidly, ruthlessly, viciously, without rest, however tired and hungry you may be, the enemy will be more tired, more hungry. Keep punching." General George S. Patton
  • Jeff in TXJeff in TX Senior Member Posts: 1,196 Senior Member
    Wambli Ska wrote: »
    This! The possibilities for embarrassment and entertainment are endless!

    :that::beer:
    Distance is not an issue, but the wind can make it interesting!

    John 3: 1-21
  • SpkSpk Senior Member Posts: 1,121 Senior Member
    Jeff in TX wrote: »
    As a side note, I told them all anyone who wanted to hunt that evening couldn't drink after 1 pm. After two nights of partying hard no one drank on Sunday. Mainly most had severe headaches!

    Yep.............

    30 some odd years ago Sunday would have been an extra day to party. :beer:

    These days when someone mentions a party, I often ask what kind of food they'll be serving and I'm outta there by 9:30. :rotflmao:
    "Facts are stubborn things and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passions, they cannot alter the state of the facts and evidence" — John Adams
  • AxeAxe Member Posts: 313 Member
    Only thing worse is when your daughter brings all her extremely good looking friends to the house, and then the boys start swarming the house like flies and the hood rat music comes out. I'd take my chances with the older ladies over the young ones any day.
  • Wambli SkaWambli Ska Moderator Posts: 25,392 Senior Member
    Axe wrote: »
    Only thing worse is when your daughter brings all her extremely good looking friends to the house, and then the boys start swarming the house like flies and the hood rat music comes out. I'd take my chances with the older ladies over the young ones any day.
    Hummmmm, you’ve been burned a few times, no? :tooth:
    "Attack rapidly, ruthlessly, viciously, without rest, however tired and hungry you may be, the enemy will be more tired, more hungry. Keep punching." General George S. Patton
  • bullsi1911bullsi1911 Moderator Posts: 9,068 Senior Member
    Wambli Ska wrote: »
    Hummmmm, you’ve been burned a few times, no? :tooth:

    For some reason, I thought of this:

    miesha-tate-cop.gif?w=1000
    To make something simple is a thousand times more difficult than to make something complex.
    -Mikhail Kalashnikov
  • Wambli SkaWambli Ska Moderator Posts: 25,392 Senior Member
    Oh that ain’t fair... Miesha Tate!!!

    you have got to :love: UFC female weigh-ins...
    "Attack rapidly, ruthlessly, viciously, without rest, however tired and hungry you may be, the enemy will be more tired, more hungry. Keep punching." General George S. Patton
  • SIGgalSIGgal Senior Member Posts: 1,660 Senior Member
    Wambli Ska wrote: »
    Hummmmm, you’ve been burned a few times, no? :tooth:

    Omg, he is sooooooo embarrassing lol. I was always the one who got burnt!
    "Marriage is a hunting permit that allows you only one dear at a time"
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