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Thread: I be a pirate, sort of...

  1. #31
    Moderator Wambli Ska's Avatar
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    Re: I be a pirate, sort of...

    Drink and the Devil had done for the rest... Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
    "Attack rapidly, ruthlessly, viciously, without rest, however tired and hungry you may be, the enemy will be more tired, more hungry. Keep punching." General George S. Patton

  2. #32
    Senior Member cpj's Avatar
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    Re: I be a pirate, sort of...

    Wambli wears panties and gets his nails done, yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.
    People who say it can't be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.

  3. #33
    Moderator Wambli Ska's Avatar
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    Re: I be a pirate, sort of...

    Quote Originally Posted by cpj View Post
    Wambli wears panties and gets his nails done, yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.
    Jealousy does NOT look good on you...
    "Attack rapidly, ruthlessly, viciously, without rest, however tired and hungry you may be, the enemy will be more tired, more hungry. Keep punching." General George S. Patton

  4. #34
    Senior Member cpj's Avatar
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    Re: I be a pirate, sort of...

    Quote Originally Posted by Wambli Ska View Post
    Jealousy does NOT look good on you...
    So you admit to wearing panties. Got it.
    People who say it can't be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.

  5. #35
    Senior Member Big Chief's Avatar
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    Re: I be a pirate, sort of...

    A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!"
    "What do you mean?" the pirate replies, "I'm fine."
    The bartender says, "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before."
    "Well," says the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg but the surgeon fixed me up, and I'm fine, really."
    "Yeah," says the bartender, "But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands."
    "Well," says the pirate, "We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great, really."
    "Oh," says the bartender, "What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes."
    "Well," says the pirate, "One day when we were at sea, some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them--yarrgh, er, pooped--in my eye."
    "So?" replied the bartender, "what happened? You couldn't have lost an eye just from that!" "Well," says the pirate, "I really wasn't used to the hook yet."
    It's only true if it's on this forum where opinions are facts and facts are opinions
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  6. #36
    Moderator Wambli Ska's Avatar
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    Re: I be a pirate, sort of...

    Quote Originally Posted by cpj View Post
    So you admit to wearing panties. Got it.
    AND you can't spell...
    "Attack rapidly, ruthlessly, viciously, without rest, however tired and hungry you may be, the enemy will be more tired, more hungry. Keep punching." General George S. Patton

  7. #37
    Senior Member olesniper's Avatar
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    Re: I be a pirate, sort of...

    YO-HO


    Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
    I will fear no evil: For I carry a .308 and not a .270

  8. #38
    Senior Member cpj's Avatar
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    Re: I be a pirate, sort of...

    Quote Originally Posted by Wambli Ska View Post
    AND you can't spell...
    Umm, no spelling issues on my end.
    People who say it can't be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.

  9. #39
    Senior Member cpj's Avatar
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    Re: I be a pirate, sort of...

    Quote Originally Posted by olesniper View Post
    YO-HO


    [URL=http://s135.photobucket.com/user/olesniper/media/par_zpszmh3f073.jpg.html][IMG]http://i135.photobucket.com/albums/q122/olesniper/par_zpszmh3f073.RL]
    You win the Internet.
    People who say it can't be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.

  10. #40
    Senior Member Jermanator's Avatar
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    Re: I be a pirate, sort of...

    Quote Originally Posted by cpj View Post
    Umm, no spelling issues on my end.
    He is insisting that you call his lingerie "manties".
    Вернём Америке былое величие

  11. #41
    Senior Member cpj's Avatar
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    Re: I be a pirate, sort of...

    Quote Originally Posted by Jermanator View Post
    He is insisting that you call his lingerie "manties".
    Men who wear panties and get pedicures don't get to insist on anything.
    People who say it can't be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.

  12. #42
    Senior Member jbp-ohio's Avatar
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    Re: I be a pirate, sort of...

    If you happen to be traveling through Montana, be careful where you take a selfie..................

    "The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not." Thomas Jefferson

  13. #43
    Senior Member Rimfire's Avatar
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    Re: I be a pirate, sort of...

    Today's appointment was a mixed bag.

    Some possible good news is that one of of the meds had side effects that caused blurry hazy vision. She has me stop taking it because it wasn't effective.

    The bad news is that the inflammation has now penetrated into the inner walls. So it has gotten more serious. Now I'm on a stronger concoction of steroids and pain killers with another appointment early Wednesday.
    G&A Forum Member since: October 2000; Life Member: GOA, IWLA, NRA, & Escapees.

  14. #44
    Senior Member Rimfire's Avatar
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    Re: I be a pirate, sort of...

    Quote Originally Posted by cpj View Post
    Men who wear panties and get pedicures don't get to insist on anything.
    umm. have you seen the size of his gunn collection? No? neither have I. But I heard it's Huge. That has to account for something.
    G&A Forum Member since: October 2000; Life Member: GOA, IWLA, NRA, & Escapees.

  15. #45
    Senior Member Rimfire's Avatar
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    Re: I be a pirate, sort of...

    Quote Originally Posted by olesniper View Post
    YO-HO


    thats's awesome!!
    G&A Forum Member since: October 2000; Life Member: GOA, IWLA, NRA, & Escapees.

  16. #46
    Senior Member Teach's Avatar
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    Re: I be a pirate, sort of...

    A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel stuffed into his pants. The barkeep just has to ask- - - - - -"Hey, Long John- - - -what's with the steering wheel?"


    "ARRRGGGGHHHH, matey- - - - - - -it's drivin' me nuts!"
    Jerry
    The masochist says "HIT ME! The sadist says "NO!"
    "When a man's down, KICK HIM! If he survives it he can rise above it!"

  17. #47
    Senior Member coolgunguy's Avatar
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    Re: I be a pirate, sort of...

    A pirate walks into a bar. He probably would have seen it if he wasn't wearing that patch...


    I hope the doc finds the right combination of meds, etc to get this handled for you.
    Tim Mason

  18. #48
    Senior Member orchidman's Avatar
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    Re: I be a pirate, sort of...

    Quote Originally Posted by Rimfire View Post
    thats's awesome!!
    Maybe you should use it for your avataaaaaargh me hearties............
    Still enjoying the trip of a lifetime and making the best of what I have.....

  19. #49
    Senior Member LMLarsen's Avatar
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    Re: I be a pirate, sort of...

    Seriously, H, we're hoping you get that fixed soon.
    Quote Originally Posted by Shane View Post
    A gun is a tool, no better or no worse than any other tool: an axe, a shovel or anything. A gun is as good or as bad as the man using it. Remember that.
    NRA Endowment Member

  20. #50
    Senior Member Varmintmist's Avatar
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    Re: I be a pirate, sort of...

    Pirate walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and say

    B "What happened to you? You used to be in great shape, now you have a eyepatch, a hook for a hand and a wooden leg!!"

    P "Well I was in a crossin a swamp with me treasure chest and a croc bit me leg off. Old witch doctor fixed me up with this here peg. Then we was in a battle with a Royal fleet and I lost me hand, a captured ships doc put a hook on it and I was back at it the next day. While in port I was looking up at the sun for the time and a seagull pooped in me eye."

    B "Wait, you mean you lost your eye to seagull poop??"

    P "Nay lad, it was me first day with the hook."
    It's boring, and your lack of creativity knows no bounds.

  21. #51
    Senior Member Varmintmist's Avatar
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    Re: I be a pirate, sort of...

    Being a pirate is better than being a knight at least.

    Pirates have wenches.

    It's boring, and your lack of creativity knows no bounds.

  22. #52
    Senior Member wizard78's Avatar
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    Re: I be a pirate, sort of...

    Hope your new meds clear up the problem. Great positive attitude is a must when health issues are serious.

  23. #53
    Senior Member Six-Gun's Avatar
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    Re: I be a pirate, sort of...

    That's a tough break, but glad to see you have some fun with it. No doubt that pic of you is great.
    Accuracy: because white space between bullet holes drives me insane.

  24. #54
    Moderator Wambli Ska's Avatar
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    Re: I be a pirate, sort of...

    Quote Originally Posted by cpj View Post
    Men who wear panties and get pedicures don't get to insist on anything.
    My wife and my testicles like them, so life is all good buddy! And actually I have to say your fascination with my underwear choices and my toes is a little unhealthy buddy. You might want to have that checked...
    "Attack rapidly, ruthlessly, viciously, without rest, however tired and hungry you may be, the enemy will be more tired, more hungry. Keep punching." General George S. Patton

  25. #55
    Moderator Wambli Ska's Avatar
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    Re: I be a pirate, sort of...

    Quote Originally Posted by olesniper View Post
    YO-HO


    Photoshop selfie of the year!!! Great work olesniper!
    "Attack rapidly, ruthlessly, viciously, without rest, however tired and hungry you may be, the enemy will be more tired, more hungry. Keep punching." General George S. Patton

  26. #56
    Senior Member Big Chief's Avatar
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    Re: I be a pirate, sort of...

    What was the pirate's name who had no legs or arms and fell overboard?

    Captain Bob
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  27. #57
    Senior Member Big Chief's Avatar
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    Re: I be a pirate, sort of...

    Where did the one legged pirate go for breakfast?


    IHOP
    It's only true if it's on this forum where opinions are facts and facts are opinions
    Words of wisdom from Big Chief: Flush twice, it's a long way to the Mess Hall
    I'd rather have my sister work in a whorehouse than own another Taurus!

  28. #58
    Senior Member Big Chief's Avatar
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    Re: I be a pirate, sort of...

    A pirate enters the men's room, steps up to a urinal, opens his fly and out pops a steering wheel. The guys at the other urinals can't help but notice.

    "Whoa," one says. "You have a steering wheel instead of a penis?!"

    "Aye," says the pirate. "It's drivin' me nuts!"
    It's only true if it's on this forum where opinions are facts and facts are opinions
    Words of wisdom from Big Chief: Flush twice, it's a long way to the Mess Hall
    I'd rather have my sister work in a whorehouse than own another Taurus!

  29. #59
    Senior Member Big Chief's Avatar
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    Re: I be a pirate, sort of...

    A young man is captured by pirates and is persuaded to join the crew rather than walk the plank. After a few weeks at sea the captain speaks to the man and asks him how he is getting on. The man replies that on the whole he is enjoying things - the rum-soaked drinking binges, the plundering, etc - but there was one thing missing.

    "What's that?" asks the captain.
    "Well, there are no women" replies the man.

    "Arrr" says the captain "Follow me!" The man follows the captain to what appears to be a barrel, on top of the barrel stands a coconut with a face drawn on and a few strands of wispy straw for hair. On the barrel is a crude outline of a woman's body and between the legs is a bung hole. "We calls her Carmen," says the captain, "and you may take her as you will". The man explains that he was unlikely to make use of her and goes on his way.

    However, as the months go by with no respite, Carmen appears more and more attractive to the young man. Finally he can resist her no longer and the man has his wicked way with Carmen the rum barrel. To his amazement the experience is far more satisfying than he could ever have imagined!

    The next day the captain greets him again. "How did you get on with Carmen then, lad?" he asks eagerly. The man replies "Rather better than I thought... actually, it was rather good!"

    "Good," says the captain, a great beaming smile splitting his black-bearded face. "It's your turn in the barrel tomorrow!"
    It's only true if it's on this forum where opinions are facts and facts are opinions
    Words of wisdom from Big Chief: Flush twice, it's a long way to the Mess Hall
    I'd rather have my sister work in a whorehouse than own another Taurus!

  30. #60
    Senior Member Teach's Avatar
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    Re: I be a pirate, sort of...

    Quote Originally Posted by Big Chief View Post
    Where did the one legged pirate go for breakfast? IHOP
    He had a one-legged waitress- - - -her name was Ilean. First corny joker ain't got a chance!
    Jerry
    The masochist says "HIT ME! The sadist says "NO!"
    "When a man's down, KICK HIM! If he survives it he can rise above it!"

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