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Thread: How I spent my weekend...

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    Moderator Wambli Ska's Avatar
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    How I spent my weekend...

    Some of you might recall how my FIL ended up in the hospital recently. He had a rough go of it and thanks in no small part to your prayers and God’s Grace he recovered physically at a miraculous pace. BUT his dementia has reached a new level and he is now fairly diminished in mental capacity from when he went in a few weeks back. After a few weeks of physical therapy he is now strong and mobile again and has regained basic skills like being able to feed himself and such but names elude him and he forgets where he is every few minutes.

    In any case I was asked to go through his garage and clean up anything that might be dangerous or could get him in trouble (paints, glues, sharps etc.). It s ROUGH to go through all his stuff and start disposing of things that were his pride and joy since he pretty much lived in this garage and he kept everything SPOTLESS and organized. I had a hard time having to take away his old iron working connecting tools that he used in jobs like the World Trade Center and the Brooklyn Bridge during the latest refurb.

    It gave me a whole new perpective on how little physical possessions mean and how quickly your “life” can be taken away from you. He was ok just a few weeks ago. Now he’s not. It sucks...
    Last edited by Wambli Ska; 02-14-2018 at 02:59 AM.
    "Attack rapidly, ruthlessly, viciously, without rest, however tired and hungry you may be, the enemy will be more tired, more hungry. Keep punching." General George S. Patton

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    Senior Member zorba's Avatar
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    Re: How I spent my weekend...

    Quote Originally Posted by Wambli Ska View Post
    It gave me a whole new perspective on how little physical possessions mean and how quickly your “life” can be taken away from you. He was ok just a few weeks ago. Now he’s not. It sucks...
    It does indeed suck. BTDTGTTSGOO (Been There, Done That, Got The T Shirt, Going On Oprah) 3 times now. And it really sucks having to disassemble someone's life. All it boils down to in the end is a bunch of "stuff" that has to be disposed of one way or another - and that hurts!

    I feel your pain.
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    Senior Member Big Chief's Avatar
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    Re: How I spent my weekend...

    Man, that's tough.

    For him and your family
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    Senior Member early's Avatar
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    Re: How I spent my weekend...

    I think it says quite a bit that someone took the time to sort through his things with care.
    My thoughts are generally clear. My typing, not so much.

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    Moderator Wambli Ska's Avatar
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    Re: How I spent my weekend...

    He still remembers who mom is, though he forgets her name. And he calls my wife “his baby”. He does not remember Kim’s sister at all and he SOMETIMES remembers my name though he knows we are buddies and smiles every time he sees me. He’s still has that devilish twinkle in his eye when he smiles. I’m going to be a wreck when that fades. I love the guy.
    "Attack rapidly, ruthlessly, viciously, without rest, however tired and hungry you may be, the enemy will be more tired, more hungry. Keep punching." General George S. Patton

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    Senior Member TrueTone911's Avatar
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    Re: How I spent my weekend...

    Quote Originally Posted by early View Post
    I think it says quite a bit that someone took the time to sort through his things with care.
    I agree...well said.

    Had to do that once for an uncle. No fun at all.

    Few and far between are the moments in life where we are given perspective. If you recognize it, which you did, it can be life changing.
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    Moderator Wambli Ska's Avatar
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    Re: How I spent my weekend...

    Quote Originally Posted by early View Post
    I think it says quite a bit that someone took the time to sort through his things with care.
    He means the world to me...
    "Attack rapidly, ruthlessly, viciously, without rest, however tired and hungry you may be, the enemy will be more tired, more hungry. Keep punching." General George S. Patton

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    Senior Member tennmike's Avatar
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    Re: How I spent my weekend...

    Dementia and Alzheimer's are the cruelest things to happen to an otherwise healthy person. Both rob the person of who they are and leave them in a really scary place. I hope your FIL can fend off the dementia and hopefully recover some of his memories of who people are.
    Concerning the difference between man and the jackass: some observers hold that there isn't any. But this wrongs the jackass.Mark Twain - Notebook, 1898
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    Moderator Jayhawker's Avatar
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    Re: How I spent my weekend...

    Good job Wambli.... it's hard...
    We have dealt with Alzheimer's with my mother and my oldest brother. He knew what was happening and at one point surrendered hid drivers license and sold his cars. He had his son come and pick up all his firearms.
    Shortly after he moved into an assisted living facility in Florida, he wanted to go for a walk one evening but there were no staff members available to go with him....Now my brother has always been physically fit so went up to his third floor room, raided the linen closet, tied a bunch of sheets together and climbed down and went for his walk by God....after the panic ensued they found him sitting on a bench in a nearby park...The staff was outraged....the family just grinned....our brother was still in there somewhere....
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    Senior Member NN's Avatar
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    Re: How I spent my weekend...

    I turned in the key to the can of worms
    They just issued me a new key

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    Senior Member Teach's Avatar
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    Re: How I spent my weekend...

    Fortunately, Dad's body failed him long before his mental capability went away. He was completely lucid up to within a week or two of his passing. He supervised the sale of the home he and Mom built in 1960, and lived in until they moved to an assisted living facility in 2013 or so, and they were very involved in passing on their possessions to all of us. I have tools and equipment in my shop that he used from the late 1940's through a 60-something year automotive and teaching career, and they're already promised to the next couple of generations when the time comes.

    Possessions aren't particularly important- - - - -what really lasts is the influence we have on our descendants- - - -good or bad!
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    Senior Member Diver43's Avatar
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    Re: How I spent my weekend...

    It is very difficult to watch this happen to those we care about. It takes special people to look out for them and keep them safe. Prayers for you to stay strong for your FIL during his time of need.
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    Senior Member CHIRO1989's Avatar
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    Re: How I spent my weekend...

    Still Praying
    I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that they turn away from their ways and live. Eze 33:11

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    Senior Member roadking's Avatar
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    Re: How I spent my weekend...

    Support your local Scouts!

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    Senior Member Elk creek's Avatar
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    Re: How I spent my weekend...

    Your a good man Enzo. So sorry for the rough times.
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    Senior Member Make_My_Day's Avatar
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    Re: How I spent my weekend...

    There are new drugs for patients with dementia. Maybe there's something that would help. I hope he can improve some.
    Political correctness is a liberal degrading of the freedom of speech. George Orwell's 1984 famously incorporated the notion of limiting thought through language (see Newspeak)." Meanwhile, the beatings will continue until morale improves around here.

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    Senior Member orchidman's Avatar
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    Re: How I spent my weekend...

    Quote Originally Posted by Wambli Ska View Post
    It gave me a whole new perpective on how little physical possessions mean and how quickly your “life” can be taken away from you. He was ok just a few weeks ago. Now he’s not. It sucks...
    I feel for you Brother. In many ways it is worse than someone you care about and love passing away. When death takes a person, those that are left behind get closure through the grieving process. With dementia the physical presence does not allow this process to take place.

    Your Fil and you and your family will continue to be in my prayers.
    Still enjoying the trip of a lifetime and making the best of what I have.....

  18. #18
    Moderator Wambli Ska's Avatar
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    Re: How I spent my weekend...

    Quote Originally Posted by Make_My_Day View Post
    There are new drugs for patients with dementia. Maybe there's something that would help. I hope he can improve some.
    He is under the care of some excellent doctors and we've tried a few of those drugs and some combinations and I do believe they are the reason why we've managed to keep him pretty aware for the last few years. But I think the state he is in now is kind of signaling the next stage is coming.
    "Attack rapidly, ruthlessly, viciously, without rest, however tired and hungry you may be, the enemy will be more tired, more hungry. Keep punching." General George S. Patton

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    Moderator Wambli Ska's Avatar
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    Re: How I spent my weekend...

    Quote Originally Posted by orchidman View Post
    I feel for you Brother. In many ways it is worse than someone you care about and love passing away. When death takes a person, those that are left behind get closure through the grieving process. With dementia the physical presence does not allow this process to take place.

    Your Fil and you and your family will continue to be in my prayers.
    Yep, that is so true. It becomes an endless string of interventions...
    "Attack rapidly, ruthlessly, viciously, without rest, however tired and hungry you may be, the enemy will be more tired, more hungry. Keep punching." General George S. Patton

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    Moderator Wambli Ska's Avatar
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    Re: How I spent my weekend...

    Quote Originally Posted by Jayhawker View Post
    Good job Wambli.... it's hard...
    We have dealt with Alzheimer's with my mother and my oldest brother. He knew what was happening and at one point surrendered hid drivers license and sold his cars. He had his son come and pick up all his firearms.
    Shortly after he moved into an assisted living facility in Florida, he wanted to go for a walk one evening but there were no staff members available to go with him....Now my brother has always been physically fit so went up to his third floor room, raided the linen closet, tied a bunch of sheets together and climbed down and went for his walk by God....after the panic ensued they found him sitting on a bench in a nearby park...The staff was outraged....the family just grinned....our brother was still in there somewhere....
    My FIL was "the boss" for most of an outstanding career. He is now regressing to that stage of his life and I was told by the folks at the rehab place he's been in for the last few weeks that at some point he fired just about every nurse and PT person in the place!
    "Attack rapidly, ruthlessly, viciously, without rest, however tired and hungry you may be, the enemy will be more tired, more hungry. Keep punching." General George S. Patton

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    Moderator Wambli Ska's Avatar
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    Re: How I spent my weekend...

    Thanks guys, for the good thoughts and continued prayers. They certainly help!!!
    "Attack rapidly, ruthlessly, viciously, without rest, however tired and hungry you may be, the enemy will be more tired, more hungry. Keep punching." General George S. Patton

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    Senior Member zorba's Avatar
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    Re: How I spent my weekend...

    Hang in there, Ska!
    -Zorba, "The Veiled Male"
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    government can't be allowed the 'moral' justification of religion."

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    Re: How I spent my weekend...

    In our prayers also

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    Moderator Wambli Ska's Avatar
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    Re: How I spent my weekend...

    Thanks guys. So Sunday I just signed up for taking my FIL for lunch at his favorite burger joint, then Lowes to buy new garage light fixtures, then back to his house where I will replace the existing garage lights that are busted, fix the garage door lift which has a problem with the chain, find out what happened to the busted up toilet paper holder in the guest bathroom and fix it. I'm lucky my house is relatively new so I have no issues to take care of and I'm only about 2 miles away from them. Their house if 19 years old so things are starting to go. Tom used to keep a flawless house and was always fixing or upgrading something, now I have to keep up his standards
    "Attack rapidly, ruthlessly, viciously, without rest, however tired and hungry you may be, the enemy will be more tired, more hungry. Keep punching." General George S. Patton

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    Re: How I spent my weekend...

    Don’t be surprised if he still tells you how to do some of these tasks. My grandpa had very advanced dementia for his last three years, enough so that when he recognized me at all I was “that boy from Enid”.

    He would still come outside and make recommendations on whatever I was building. After he had asked what I was building eight or ten times.

    There were definitely good days and bad days for him.
    I am afraid we forget sometime that the basic and simple things brings us the most pleasure.
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    Moderator Wambli Ska's Avatar
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    Re: How I spent my weekend...

    Quote Originally Posted by Farm Boy Deuce View Post
    Don’t be surprised if he still tells you how to do some of these tasks. My grandpa had very advanced dementia for his last three years, enough so that when he recognized me at all I was “that boy from Enid”.

    He would still come outside and make recommendations on whatever I was building. After he had asked what I was building eight or ten times.

    There were definitely good days and bad days for him.
    That’s how it is with him. Usually the AM he’s pretty lucid and then the PM is pretty confusing. They came for dinner to my house last night and most of the conversation was about him giving me directions on all the work we had to do “tomorrow” on the steel jobs he managed when he was younger. The Brooklyn Bridge, the Navy Yard, the WTC and the Hayden Planetarium were some of the high points of his career so he kind of blends them all together. I’m learning more about structural steel than I ever thought I would

    Thanks guys for giving me a place to comfortably discuss this. It helps to know others have gone through it, or are going through it too...
    "Attack rapidly, ruthlessly, viciously, without rest, however tired and hungry you may be, the enemy will be more tired, more hungry. Keep punching." General George S. Patton

  27. #27
    Senior Member Big Chief's Avatar
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    Re: How I spent my weekend...

    When I was working in TX last time a lady across the way would get confused and wonder around until her husband found her. Once after it rained he found her just out the front door. She had walked into the flower bed and left her slippers stuck in the mud.

    She passed not long afterwards and he moved to be with his family. Very sad.
    It's only true if it's on this forum where opinions are facts and facts are opinions
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  28. #28
    Moderator Wambli Ska's Avatar
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    Re: How I spent my weekend...

    Quote Originally Posted by Big Chief View Post
    When I was working in TX last time a lady across the way would get confused and wonder around until her husband found her. Once after it rained he found her just out the front door. She had walked into the flower bed and left her slippers stuck in the mud.

    She passed not long afterwards and he moved to be with his family. Very sad.
    That is sad. I know at some point we will loose him completely but for now we have to do everything we can to enjoy what we have and keep him safe. The local Sheriff's department has a great program with free GPS trackers. We just had one installed on him and he calls it his watch . If he disappears on us a quick call to the department and they will send an officer to track the GPS unit and find him immediately. Those guys are awesome!!!

    On a good note we put an add in the local neighborhood social media site for part time paid companions so we can get a list of folks together that Mom can call upon to get a respite and get her nails and hair done and run errands a few times a week and the response has been big! I love living in a nice community of great folks. They have a GREAT support network of friends and even strangers volunteering to help out!
    "Attack rapidly, ruthlessly, viciously, without rest, however tired and hungry you may be, the enemy will be more tired, more hungry. Keep punching." General George S. Patton

  29. #29
    Senior Member SIGgal's Avatar
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    Re: How I spent my weekend...

    Your a good man Wambli!
    "Marriage is a hunting permit that allows you only one dear at a time"

  30. #30
    Moderator Wambli Ska's Avatar
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    Re: How I spent my weekend...

    Quote Originally Posted by SIGgal View Post
    Your a good man Wambli!
    Nah, I just love the guy and I'm really sad to see the decline of this great man. Wish you guys could have met him in his prime. He was a force to be reckoned with. Just 8 years ago (at 72) he knocked a guy in his 30s on his ass at the local Walmart parking lot because the jerk was physical abusing his girl right in public. Not one to let anyone get away with BS...
    "Attack rapidly, ruthlessly, viciously, without rest, however tired and hungry you may be, the enemy will be more tired, more hungry. Keep punching." General George S. Patton

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