Simple military question.

2

Replies

  • 5280 shooter II5280 shooter II Senior Member Posts: 3,923 Senior Member
    My apology Scott and Mike.....I speak out of ignorance of how the other services operate....what I know of the Army and Marine Corps....diabetic is an operational no-go. Sorry Jeff, but this is the time to get up, buck up, and put up.....ya gotta make a decision to get out of the current rut and do it brother.

    SirGeorge.......you are serving now......:usa:
    God show's mercy on drunks and dumb animals.........two outa three ain't a bad score!
  • BufordBuford Senior Member Posts: 6,676 Senior Member
    I'm just curious since I've fallen to the discrimination myself, but why can't an insulin dependent diabetic that IS in GOOD control of his health join the military?
    You really don't see a problem with this.
    Just look at the flowers Lizzie, just look at the flowers.
  • JermanatorJermanator Senior Member Posts: 15,503 Senior Member
    I can understand that you are at a low....trust me, if I told you guys how bad I have fracked up my marriage and my personal life you would be shocked. It will pass. One day at a time, but, it will pass.

    Ghost-- I am going to say it right now that if you get your personal life in order, the professional life will follow. You aren't saying exactly what is going on, but you have mentioned sleeping in your car around Christmas, marriage counseling, etc... What everything boils down to is that you and the Mrs. have to find a way to make things work-- be it together or apart. Whatever the hell you two are doing is not working, so stop doing that! Try something else. You are 27 years old, in decent health, possess marketable skills, and seem to be blind to the amazing opportunities that surround you. You are blessed and it is about damn time that you pull your head from your butt and understand how deeply blessed you are.

    You can't focus on trying to get ahead when your personal life is constantly falling apart. You have no base to build on. Everything that you do just crumbles because you and mama are your own worst enemies. The crap needs to stop and both of you need to do some growing up. You don't think the kids notice? Heck yea they do!!! They don't deserve or need this crap. Grow the hell up!
  • JayhawkerJayhawker Moderator Posts: 15,340 Senior Member
    DoctorWho wrote: »
    You may want to look into a holistic approach to a cure too, the most that can happen is it will not work, however, that and a special diabetic diet and exercise and loosing weight if you are overweight will help a great deal, I have been told that the leaf of the medlar tree yields good results.

    Actually Doc...no, it's not the "most that can happen"...I've seen people die trying to deal with diabetes using the "holistic approach"
    Sharps Model 1874 - "The rifle that made the west safe for Winchester"
  • JayhawkerJayhawker Moderator Posts: 15,340 Senior Member
    Jermanator wrote: »
    You don't think the kids notice? Heck yea they do!!! !

    ...and they have an uncanny ability to blame themselves for it...
    Sharps Model 1874 - "The rifle that made the west safe for Winchester"
  • 5280 shooter II5280 shooter II Senior Member Posts: 3,923 Senior Member
    To soften Jerm's harsh and true words....he basically said what I did a few posts above. We ain't marriage counselors....but the majority here are men that see a problem and try to solve it, it's in our nature. I'd venture that 5% of this forum has been divorced before, and have learned from experience. The adage is true, you have to love yourself first before you can love another.....you have to get your own tent in order before you can contribute to a camp.

    Sometimes you have to let go and get on with your life....you only get one shot at it....and the kids would rather see a happy dad rather than one kicking in the muck.
    God show's mercy on drunks and dumb animals.........two outa three ain't a bad score!
  • 5280 shooter II5280 shooter II Senior Member Posts: 3,923 Senior Member
    Jayhawker wrote: »
    ...and they have an uncanny ability to blame themselves for it...

    Sad yet so true.
    God show's mercy on drunks and dumb animals.........two outa three ain't a bad score!
  • ghostsniper1ghostsniper1 Banned Posts: 2,645 Senior Member
    Yeah, life hasn't been to favorable to me in the marriage department lately. Not sure what the hell is going on anymore, but after being married for 8 years, I don't feel like I can handle this crap. Exhausted all outlets already and now here I sit.
  • ghostsniper1ghostsniper1 Banned Posts: 2,645 Senior Member
    Oh and as a slight correction Jerm, I'm 29 btw, but yeah, close enough.
  • jbohiojbohio Senior Member Posts: 5,520 Senior Member
    Ghost, I've mentioned this before. I'll do it one more time.

    The largest military supply installation in the world, is about an hour north of you. 3000+ civilians work there.
    Also, much, much higher paying jobs in your field, are about an hour north of you.
    And, if you really want to make something happen, there is a MAJOR oil/gas boom going on about 2 hours east of you. The oil industry pays very, very well.
    They're paying $28-30 an hour for CDL drivers, and the avg. pay here in town is around $15. Just for example.
    Welders make over $60 an hour. They need lots, and lots of mechanics.

    I have no clue what your personal struggles involve, but my guess is that it hinges around money, or lack thereof.

    It's tough to make it working a blue collar job, in a small town. I was in the same boat, 14 years ago. I took a job in the big city, instant $4 pay bump.
    I commuted for 4 years, long enough to get my finances in order, and move the heck out of the small town.
  • bmlbml Senior Member Posts: 1,075 Senior Member
    Jermanator wrote: »
    Ghost-- I am going to say it right now that if you get your personal life in order, the professional life will follow. You aren't saying exactly what is going on, but you have mentioned sleeping in your car around Christmas, marriage counseling, etc... What everything boils down to is that you and the Mrs. have to find a way to make things work-- be it together or apart. Whatever the hell you two are doing is not working, so stop doing that! Try something else. You are 27 years old, in decent health, possess marketable skills, and seem to be blind to the amazing opportunities that surround you. You are blessed and it is about damn time that you pull your head from your butt and understand how deeply blessed you are.

    You can't focus on trying to get ahead when your personal life is constantly falling apart. You have no base to build on. Everything that you do just crumbles because you and mama are your own worst enemies. The crap needs to stop and both of you need to do some growing up. You don't think the kids notice? Heck yea they do!!! They don't deserve or need this crap. Grow the hell up!
    jbohio wrote: »
    Ghost, I've mentioned this before. I'll do it one more time.

    The largest military supply installation in the world, is about an hour north of you. 3000+ civilians work there.
    Also, much, much higher paying jobs in your field, are about an hour north of you.
    And, if you really want to make something happen, there is a MAJOR oil/gas boom going on about 2 hours east of you. The oil industry pays very, very well.
    They're paying $28-30 an hour for CDL drivers, and the avg. pay here in town is around $15. Just for example.
    Welders make over $60 an hour. They need lots, and lots of mechanics.

    I have no clue what your personal struggles involve, but my guess is that it hinges around money, or lack thereof.

    It's tough to make it working a blue collar job, in a small town. I was in the same boat, 14 years ago. I took a job in the big city, instant $4 pay bump.
    I commuted for 4 years, long enough to get my finances in order, and move the heck out of the small town.

    Wise words. ^ Make it happen.
    scottd wrote: »
    The milk of human kindness is often out dated and curdled.

    This is like watching a bunch or **** trying to hump a door knob.....
  • JermanatorJermanator Senior Member Posts: 15,503 Senior Member
    Yeah, life hasn't been to favorable to me in the marriage department lately. Not sure what the hell is going on anymore, but after being married for 8 years, I don't feel like I can handle this crap. Exhausted all outlets already and now here I sit.

    I remember the times when I couldn't see a way out. I had lots of pride that was getting in the way. There is nothing wrong with pride, but it needs to be offset with some humility-- that is what I had to learn. Once it happened, the drama stopped and I could focus on the future instead of the moment.

    You also have to learn that you can't change her, but you can change yourself. Once you start focusing on being the best man you can be, she will want to change her own self. If you are trying to change her, and her change you-- it will never work. Been there, done that!

    I am very serious about counting your blessings. Please step back and take inventory. You are young, fit, and intelligent. You have skills-- good skills. Your wife is both lovely and charming. Your children are healthy and beautiful... that is just what I know-- I am sure you have a much longer list. You need to see how truly fortunate you are and commit to not squander your blessings.
  • bruchibruchi Senior Member Posts: 2,581 Senior Member
    So you are 29 and feel more than able to serve in the military but your "life"is screwed up because your incredibly well managed diabetes closes that door?

    My brother is in his 40's, since his 20's he has been a diabetic with circulation problems, in and out of hospitals due to ongoing ulcers, had a leg amputated about a year ago, never had a problem getting medical insurance, the company he created in a field he loves with no outside help from the ground up and that thrived a decade ago is going down the drain, that part is not his doing but still sucks.

    I have never ever seen him complain about anything, not a thing, he does what he can do with gusto and right now is taking care of me.

    There are literally "millions" of other doors open to you.
    If this post is non welcomed, I can always give you a recipe for making "tostones".
  • MichakavMichakav Senior Member Posts: 2,476 Senior Member
    Yeah, life hasn't been to favorable to me in the marriage department lately. Not sure what the hell is going on anymore, but after being married for 8 years, I don't feel like I can handle this crap. Exhausted all outlets already and now here I sit.

    Time to start the moving on process. It will suck at first, but it gets better with time and constructive output. I know it can be daunting, but you will figure it out and be stronger for it.
  • JayhawkerJayhawker Moderator Posts: 15,340 Senior Member
    Exhausted all outlets already and now here I sit.

    Really? Did any of those outlooks tell you the part about the the person who is going to give you the most problems on any given day looks at you in the mirror every morning? If you are not playing an active part in your own problem solving, you are bound to fail.....While it's none of my business, I gotta ask...are you still drinking?

    Bottom line partner...there are jobs out there, good paying jobs, all you have to do is go to them...SD is having an oil boom as well, they will work you like a dog, but they will pay you damn well...get off your butt, get control of your life and DO SOMETHING...you're capable, you have skills...USE THEM!!
    Sharps Model 1874 - "The rifle that made the west safe for Winchester"
  • ZeeZee Senior Member Posts: 21,138 Senior Member
    The way it works in my house, there is NO complaining or moaning allowed unless you are actively working to better the situation.

    If you are in pain or sick, take the appropriate meds. If you are bored, go do something. If you are having a bad day in general, do something to improve your mood.

    Complaining is NOT allowed and sympathy is NOT given for lack of action.

    If there is a problem.......fix it! Or, find someone who can help you do so. Whoever that may be.

    Complaining is for the weak. Deal with your situation. Don't wallow in pity. It will NOT get better if you do.

    I this is your cross..........bare it.
    "To Hell with efficiency, it's performance we want!" - Elmer Keith
  • jbp-ohiojbp-ohio Senior Member Posts: 9,657 Senior Member
    Jayhawker wrote: »
    Really? Did any of those outlooks tell you the part about the the person who is going to give you the most problems on any given day looks at you in the mirror every morning? If you are not playing an active part in your own problem solving, you are bound to fail.....While it's none of my business, I gotta ask...are you still drinking?

    Bottom line partner...there are jobs out there, good paying jobs, all you have to do is go to them...SD is having an oil boom as well, they will work you like a dog, but they will pay you damn well...get off your butt, get control of your life and DO SOMETHING...you're capable, you have skills...USE THEM!!

    I have never had anyone come knock on my door offering me a good paying job. Get on the job sites every day and set the distance to 250 miles.... You can get on a computer at the library or the local Employment Source
    "The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not." Thomas Jefferson
  • ghostsniper1ghostsniper1 Banned Posts: 2,645 Senior Member
    It's not about a job fellas. Anymore it's about being lonely and missing my kids. Haven't been alone in 8 years.
  • breamfisherbreamfisher Senior Member Posts: 13,338 Senior Member
    If you don't want to miss your kids, the military is really not for you...
    Overkill is underrated.
  • jbp-ohiojbp-ohio Senior Member Posts: 9,657 Senior Member
    It's not about a job fellas. Anymore it's about being lonely and missing my kids. Haven't been alone in 8 years.

    If you are thinking of living in the woods, it is about a job. To get visitation and maybe custody (never know what the future holds), you need a residence and stability....... all comes down to the $$$.
    "The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not." Thomas Jefferson
  • DoctorWhoDoctorWho Senior Member Posts: 9,496 Senior Member
    Jayhawker wrote: »
    Actually Doc...no, it's not the "most that can happen"...I've seen people die trying to deal with diabetes using the "holistic approach"

    In addition to Insulin and other meds, it has been proven many diabetic problems are made worse by poor diet and lack of exercise and being morbidly obese, I don't recommend a completely "ONLY" natural cure, however, sometimes by changing ones lifestyle, I can think of at least 3 people I know that after loosing a lot of excess weight were taken off Insulin by their physician because their blood sugar levels came back under control.
    "There is some evil in all of us, Doctor, even you, the Valeyard is an amalgamation of the darker sides of your nature, somewhere between your twelfth and final incarnation, and I may say, you do not improve with age. Founding member of the G&A forum since 1996
  • DoctorWhoDoctorWho Senior Member Posts: 9,496 Senior Member
    It's not about a job fellas. Anymore it's about being lonely and missing my kids. Haven't been alone in 8 years.

    You may also need to see a Psychologist for extra help in dealing with issues.
    "There is some evil in all of us, Doctor, even you, the Valeyard is an amalgamation of the darker sides of your nature, somewhere between your twelfth and final incarnation, and I may say, you do not improve with age. Founding member of the G&A forum since 1996
  • ghostsniper1ghostsniper1 Banned Posts: 2,645 Senior Member
    Doc, I'm not overweight by any means. And I don't think a psychologist can heal a broken heart. It's official now, we are done. 8 years down the drain and I'm besides myself. Don't know what I'm gonna do guys.
  • JermanatorJermanator Senior Member Posts: 15,503 Senior Member
    The only thing you can do is pick up the pieces, pull yourself together, and get on with the rest of your life.
  • BufordBuford Senior Member Posts: 6,676 Senior Member
    And I don't think a psychologist can heal a broken heart. It's official now, we are done. 8 years down the drain and I'm besides myself. Don't know what I'm gonna do guys.

    Get on with your life. Figure out visitation and support for your children and move on. Folks go through this stuff all the time.
    Feeling sorry for yourself won't help your children cope with this situation.
    Just look at the flowers Lizzie, just look at the flowers.
  • jbohiojbohio Senior Member Posts: 5,520 Senior Member
    jbp-ohio wrote: »
    If you are thinking of living in the woods, it is about a job. To get visitation and maybe custody (never know what the future holds), you need a residence and stability....... all comes down to the $$$.

    Exactly.

    Let me pose a question, Ghost.
    What would your marital life be like, if you and your family lived in a decent house, the bills were paid, cars are in good working order, but you lived an hour away from where you do now? Would you still be considering living in a tent in the woods?

    Start fresh. Get a new, better job. Make some money. Get your family out of the trailer in Chillicothe. Get out of Chillicothe altogether.
    Everything will get better.

    I know it's hard to see from the inside, but the situation you're in is dragging you down. You're in quicksand.
    I came from a town that's much the same as yours, only smaller. Some of my best friends were in the same boat as you. Some still are.
    The ones that aren't, made a change. They got out. Went to where the money is, and made a better life for themselves.
  • ghostsniper1ghostsniper1 Banned Posts: 2,645 Senior Member
    Not feeling sorry for myself. Just extremely hurting and confused. Not to mention, wondering how I'm going to support them and still afford a place for myself. Never had to do this before. My hats off to you that have.
  • bruchibruchi Senior Member Posts: 2,581 Senior Member
    Maybe I am out of place here but seems to me that this is more about breaking up with your family and missing your kids than not being allowed in the military, as mentioned if you miss your kids now the military is not the best idea for you.

    The last 5 years, perhaps more have been real though, my "family" consisted from mom, younger brother and myself, mom passed away early this year, brother has been trough a lot of health issues, one being bedridden for almost 2 years at home after perhaps 6 months in the hospital, then he had a leg amputated as I have already mentioned, not a complain, he kept his business running all that time, even as though as it got, we pretty much are alone and in a tough financial situation but I been there before and will more than get out of it.

    Not trying to be crude and senseless here but being in a rut is self created state of mind, one puts himself there and one gets out of there, been there, it can be done, main thing is not to invest time and energy at it, every day since my business went down the drain we still get up every morning and go to the shop I share with my brother to make the best of it.
    If this post is non welcomed, I can always give you a recipe for making "tostones".
  • 5280 shooter II5280 shooter II Senior Member Posts: 3,923 Senior Member
    I don't think a psychologist can heal a broken heart. It's official now, we are done. 8 years down the drain and I'm besides myself. Don't know what I'm gonna do guys.

    You are gonna do what I tell you right now:

    You gather all your personal stuff and put it in storage......you go rent a room by the week....visit a few bars and make small talk with strangers, maybe you'll get lucky with a few girls....companionship no matter how fleeting can help your attitude, but don't be a sap....project yourself with the attitude "S***" happens, but be confident with yourself......solitude is NOT the way to go!

    Here's the hard part......it's over, you got dumped....now pick yourself up and move, Don't dwell, don't hate....(well, hate a little! :tooth:) it's the only thing you can do.

    I'm not pressing religion, but pick up a bible and read it......the inspiration will come to you.

    Force yourself to attend a church....any church right now....flavor of denominations will come later....and you just might meet another person that's right for you. Again, solitude sucks.....you need to engage people a whole lot right now, your soul needs safety in numbers.....believe me, I've been through this, so I'm just trying to relay lessons learned to you. Gonna send you my number in PM in case you need to talk.

    Right now you are a lost sheep in search of a shepard and a mission of life.
    God show's mercy on drunks and dumb animals.........two outa three ain't a bad score!
  • centermass556centermass556 Senior Member Posts: 3,509 Senior Member
    We had a saying when I did support.....paint our first wife blue, she is just a training aid. In other words, in the life we lived...gone all the time, playing hard, working hard....a lot of woes could not live with that life. So....you learned what good things to do in a marriage, the bad things you don't want to repeat, and the type of woman you will need to stand with you if you were going to stay in that type of career....

    THE SO WHAT FOR YOU....

    Move on...get stronger. YOU CAN STILL BE A DAD AND A FATHER TO YOUR KIDS EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE NOT LIVING WITH THEM. You can't be a dad and a father for your kids if you are feeling sorry for yourself, unwilling to get out there and improve your fighting position, and if you are drinking. Your kids will always call you dad if you continue to be positive roll in their life regardless of the men your ex my exposé them too.
    It is better for the kids if you are divorced and not fighting than being together and fighting constantly...
    Not every marriage is a bed of roses

    Your kids will always look at you...so walk a little straighter daddy.....

    If you can't do that for your kids, get a good life insurance policy, put it in their names...and continue on your course.
    "To have really lived, you must have almost died. To those who have fought for it, freedom has a flavor the protected will never know."
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