Home› Main Category› Clubhouse
Pelagic Kayaker
Posts: 1,503 Senior Member
B.E.C, Wedge and other assorted acronym's
Pelagic Kayaker
Posts: 1,503 Senior Member
As we find ourselves reaching the era of "classic rock" and "old school country" I found myself making a Wedge to relieve a bad case of B.E.C.
B.E.C = Burning Edge of Crack
Wedge = Take one pull of TP and form into rectangular shape of padded bliss. Insert between cheeks and make doctors appt.
It sucks to get old!
B.E.C = Burning Edge of Crack
Wedge = Take one pull of TP and form into rectangular shape of padded bliss. Insert between cheeks and make doctors appt.
It sucks to get old!
Replies
Who is F R E D anyhow?
Words of wisdom from Big Chief: Flush twice, it's a long way to the Mess Hall
I'd rather have my sister work in a whorehouse than own another Taurus!
Agreed. Sometimes I regret clicking on a curious thread title. Sigh.
Sorry, yeah I saw it. Didn't want to offend Sam. (kidding ya Sam)
Speaking of railroad jokes, here's one for ya-- not a joke but true story. This really happened..around 1994.
Just before the merger with BN, two old heads, named Lippy and Sal catch a hotshot from LA to Barstow. Part of the route requires dragging a mile long freight up Cajon Pass. Now Cajon Pass is one steep muther...for trains anyway...3% grade! Takes about 2hrs at around 13-17 mph to drag a freight weighing 8,000 tons, even with 17,600hp up the "hill".
Anyway, as Sal (engineer) and Lippy (conductor) are in full throttle dragging this freight up Cajon makin around 15mph, Sal feels the need for a nature call. Rather than stop the train on the side of the mountain and risk splitting a knuckle and tearing the train in two, Sal shouts over to Lippy to watch the "alerter" while he stinks up the second trailing loco in the consist. Sal then opens the rear door of the cab and steps out into the night and makes his way to the second unit.
Now an "alerter" is sorta like a deadmans pedal in case the engineer is suddenly incapacitated. If not depressed when the light starts flashing, a high pitched audible alarm will sound and will then put the train into penalty braking and stop the train.
Anyway, since the train is in full throttle and they're only making around 15 mph, all that Lippy needs to do is push the "alerter" when it goes off and continue working on his daily crossword puzzle and keep lookout for any signal changes....easy peasy. It also should be noted that Lippy doesn't know how to run a locomotive.
After about 10 minutes they pass a small area called Devore. Devore has a general store next to the tracks and that's it. It's really not even a town. As they pass Devore, Lippy realizes Sal has been in the head in the second unit for quite awhile and the next station is a place called Keenbrook. Not only that, the next signal is flashing yellow which means they will be required to stop at Cajon!
Lippy continues on with his crossword and another ten minutes goes by. By this time Lippy is starting to wonder if Sal fell in the commode!
All of a sudden the cab radio jumps to life and the dispatcher call their train:
"Cajon dispatcher to the ATSF 627 East, over"
Lippy picks up the handset and answers, "ATSF 627 East, go ahead, over"
Dispatcher: "Yes, ATSF 627, where is your engineer?...over"
Lippy: "...ah...he's checking an alarm on one of the trailing units,...over"
Dispatcher: "...ah.. I see. ...and what is your current milepost location and speed?... over"
Lippy: "ah dispatcher, we are approaching milepost 67 and we are at 15 mph,..over"
Dispatcher: "Copy that......oh by the way your engineer just called me from a pay phone at Devore STOP YOUR TRAIN OVER!!!
Man, that brings back memories of my short career at CSX. I grew to love crossword puzzles there. EVERYBODY did them. Usually one guy would make a bunch of copies in the morning. Made for a long day if you didn't get a copy that morning.
I'll also never forget the smell of an engine that hadn't had its stink box cleaned for a while. Something about the heat..... Always made me glad I wasn't a pipefitter.
What happened to that train? Did the conductor figure out how to decrease throttle and apply brakes?
Even though I was an electrician, I got the rare opportunity to drive a few engines. One with the remote control box once. I enjoyed the work but hated the atmosphere.
Lippy pulled the emergency brake valve and stopped the train. They were both pulled (well one anyway) off the train and an investigation was held a few weeks later. Both were given a slap on the wrist. Even though Sal suffered a few minor cuts and bruises, he was lucky he wasn't killed when he fell off. The area around Devore was called (not his real name) "Hernandez Falls" by the rails quite awhile after that!
Your right about those engines getting pretty ripe in the summer! The "honey truck" at the "roundhouse" got full time duty during the summer. Sometimes those engines got to stinkin so bad we would refuse to use them! Nothing has changed in that even with the newer locomotives.
So you worked for CSX huh? I used to hear horror stories about that railroad, mostly about management problems just after the merger. The ATSF (Santa Fe) was a good outfit too until BN took over. These days they try to fire ya for ever minor rule violation.