Actual self defense stories for distances beyond "personal space"?

124»

Replies

  • samzheresamzhere Banned Posts: 10,923 Senior Member
    shush wrote: »
    I feel sure you are all aware that over here our self defence carry is limited to a shopping bag or a Cockney Rhyming Slang Translator [ Buffy edition] neither are for long range use.

    Fun story, thanks!

    Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read. - Groucho Marx
  • ZeeZee Senior Member Posts: 20,618 Senior Member
    samzhere wrote: »
    Just buy my books, okay? Cheap on Kindle, a fun quick read, and fiction, gen-yew-wine made-up-stuff but kinda entertaining, I've heard told.

    And you misspelled "its".

    No need to buy your books. I get cheap enough entertainment just reading your posts.

    :-)
    "To Hell with efficiency, it's performance we want!" - Elmer Keith
  • TeachTeach Senior Member Posts: 18,425 Senior Member
    Ain't it fun to watch a whizzin' contest?


    THE PIDDLING PUP
    (A tale of a Pedigreed Piddlin Pup Ten Piddles and a Puddle)

    Piddle #1
    A farmers' dog came into town,
    His Christian name was Rex,
    A noble pedigree had he,
    Unusual was his text.
    And as he trotted down the street
    `Twas beautiful to see,
    His work on every corner-
    His work on every tree



    Piddle #2
    He watered every gateway too,
    And never missed a post.
    For piddling was his specialty,
    And piddling was his boast
    The City Curs looked on, amazed
    With deep and jealous rage,
    To see a simple country dog
    The piddler of the age.



    Piddle #3
    Then all the dogs from everywhere
    Were summoned with a yell,
    To sniff the country stranger o'er
    And judge him by the smell.
    Some thought that he a king might be,
    Beneath his tail a rose,
    So every dog drew near to him
    And sniffed him up their nose.



    Piddle #4
    They smelled him over one by one,
    They smelled him two by two,
    And noble Rex, in high disdain,
    Stood still till they were through.
    Then just to show the whole Shebang,
    He didn't give a damn,
    He trotted in a grocery store,
    And piddled on a ham.



    Piddle #5
    He piddled in a mackeral keg-
    He piddled on the floor,
    And when the grocer kicked him out
    He piddled through the door.
    Behind him all the city dogs,
    Lined up with instinct true,
    To start a piddling carnival,
    And see the stranger through.



    Piddle#6
    They showed him every piddling post,
    They had in all the town,
    And started in with many a wink,
    To piddle the stranger down.
    They sent for champion piddlers
    Who were always on the go,
    Who sometimes did a piddling stunt
    Or gave a piddle show.



    Piddle #7
    They sprung these on him suddenly
    When midway through the town,
    Rex only smiled and polished off
    The ablest white or brown.
    For Rex was with them every trick,
    With vigor and with vim.
    A thousand piddles more or less
    Were all the same to him.



    Piddle#8
    So he was wetting merrily,
    With hind leg kicking high,
    When most were hoisting legs in bluff,
    And piddling mighty dry.
    On and on, Rex sought new grounds,
    By piles and scraps and rust.
    Till every city dog went dry,
    And piddled only dust



    Piddle#9
    But on and on went noble Rex,
    As wet as any rill,
    And all the champion city pups
    were piddled to a standstill.
    Then Rex did free-hand piddling,
    With fancy flirts and flits,
    Like "double dip" and "gimlet twist",
    And all those latest hits.



    Piddle #10
    And all the time this country dog,
    Did never wink or grin,
    But piddled blithely out of town,
    As he had piddled in.



    The Puddle
    The city dogs, a conversation held,
    To ask, "What did defeat us?"
    But no one ever put them wise
    That Rex had diabetes!


    :rotflmao::rotflmao::rotflmao:
    Jerry
    Hide and wail in terror, Eloi- - - -We Morlocks are on the hunt!
    ASK-HOLE Someone who asks for advice and always does something opposite
  • Big ChiefBig Chief Senior Member Posts: 32,995 Senior Member
    If ever there was an appropriate use fer this emoticon, it's on this thread. Is there one of a pissing contest they could add to the choices?

    Hey cool, look they are synchronized :tooth:

    :yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno:
    It's only true if it's on this forum where opinions are facts and facts are opinions
    Words of wisdom from Big Chief: Flush twice, it's a long way to the Mess Hall
    I'd rather have my sister work in a whorehouse than own another Taurus!
  • NNNN Senior Member Posts: 23,967 Senior Member
    Was that last post from a :troll:
    A Veteran is someone that served in the Military, it does not matter where they served.
  • samzheresamzhere Banned Posts: 10,923 Senior Member
    Big Chief, that last post, glad I don't have epilepsy, ha ha.

    Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read. - Groucho Marx
  • JKPJKP Senior Member Posts: 1,837 Senior Member
    Are Cliff's Notes available for some of these mile long posts or is it just more of the same?
  • NNNN Senior Member Posts: 23,967 Senior Member
    Note this
    A Veteran is someone that served in the Military, it does not matter where they served.
  • bobbyrlf3bobbyrlf3 Senior Member Posts: 2,467 Senior Member
    When I carry a 1911, I generally will have one extra mag, but will carry two if the cover garment will allow.
    When I carry the FNP-45, I only carry 1 extra mag, which gives me 28 shots, which is more than I get with the 1911 even with 2 spares.

    The guy who taught me how to shoot said to start each session at longer distances, and work my way in. "Aim small, miss small" as it were. Seems to work pretty well for me.
    Knowledge is essential to living freely and fully; understanding gives knowledge purpose and strength; wisdom is combining the two and applying them appropriately in words and actions.
  • ZeeZee Senior Member Posts: 20,618 Senior Member
    Sitting in church this morning, I'm reminded of a handful of shootings that occurred in various churches in recent years. Looking at the layout of my church, I'm faced with a 75 yard shot from where I sit in the balcony to the opposite corner and one of the entrance/exits. Were a threat to appear in that doorway, I plan to be able to address such a threat.

    Just food for thought.
    "To Hell with efficiency, it's performance we want!" - Elmer Keith
  • Big ChiefBig Chief Senior Member Posts: 32,995 Senior Member
    Zee wrote: »
    Sitting in church this morning, I'm reminded of a handful of shootings that occurred in various churches in recent years. Looking at the layout of my church, I'm faced with a 75 yard shot from where I sit in the balcony to the opposite corner and one of the entrance/exits. Were a threat to appear in that doorway, I plan to be able to address such a threat.

    Just food for thought.

    Good fer you! The good Lord may protect us, but he also gave us a brain to use. No sense in letting oneself meet him any sooner than planned, let the BG be first :angel2:
    It's only true if it's on this forum where opinions are facts and facts are opinions
    Words of wisdom from Big Chief: Flush twice, it's a long way to the Mess Hall
    I'd rather have my sister work in a whorehouse than own another Taurus!
  • samzheresamzhere Banned Posts: 10,923 Senior Member
    Zee wrote: »
    Sitting in church this morning, I'm reminded of a handful of shootings that occurred in various churches in recent years. Looking at the layout of my church, I'm faced with a 75 yard shot from where I sit in the balcony to the opposite corner and one of the entrance/exits. Were a threat to appear in that doorway, I plan to be able to address such a threat.

    Just food for thought.

    I guess I just don't find myself appointed overwatch or guard superior for every open space I find myself in. I'm just not that much into heroics. Do you bring your .50bmg Barrett with you to services or just a couple of ARs strung crisscross over your shoulders like in those FPS video games?

    Strange that when I go to church I sit about midway in the nave (the balcony's for the choir) and need to be mobile enough to get to the chancel rail for communion, and reasonably close to hear the sermon well. Then I tilt out the kneeler and do my prayer bit, check the hymnal and the prayer book, and wait for the processional. That's about the extent of my tactical response to church going.

    But of course I'm not a loyal acolyte and faithful proselytizer to my own pronouncements. I leave that to my eager disciples.

    Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read. - Groucho Marx
  • Big ChiefBig Chief Senior Member Posts: 32,995 Senior Member
    samzhere wrote: »
    I guess I just don't find myself appointed overwatch or guard superior for every open space I find myself in. I'm just not that much into heroics. Do you bring your .50bmg Barrett with you to services or just a couple of ARs strung crisscross over your shoulders like in those FPS video games?

    Strange that when I go to church I sit about midway in the nave (the balcony's for the choir) and need to be mobile enough to get to the altar rail for communion, and reasonably close to hear the sermon well. Then I tilt out the kneeler and do my prayer bit, check the hymnal and the prayer book, and wait for the processional. That's about the extent of my tactical response to church going.

    But of course I'm not a loyal acolyte and faithful proselytizer to my own pronouncements. I leave that to my eager disciples.

    Oh boy..here we go again :popcorn::popcorn::popcorn::popcorn::popcorn::popcorn::popcorn:
    It's only true if it's on this forum where opinions are facts and facts are opinions
    Words of wisdom from Big Chief: Flush twice, it's a long way to the Mess Hall
    I'd rather have my sister work in a whorehouse than own another Taurus!
  • ZeeZee Senior Member Posts: 20,618 Senior Member
    samzhere wrote: »
    I guess I just don't find myself appointed overwatch or guard superior for every open space I find myself in.

    As is your choice.

    I'm just not that much into heroics.

    Hey, tell us about those people you saved again. You know, when you had to draw your gun and wave it around or something. I've forgotten the story.

    Do you bring your .50bmg Barrett with you to services or just a couple of ARs strung crisscross over your shoulders like in those FPS video games?

    A 1911 will suffice, given my choices. In .40 or .45 depending on the mood. Since I practice at that distance, no need to break out the big guns. You might, though.
    .
    "To Hell with efficiency, it's performance we want!" - Elmer Keith
  • shushshush Senior Member Posts: 6,259 Senior Member
    Speak softly but carry a red rag.

    cjp wrote: »..... Oh dear God, I've admitted to liking something Limey.I'll never hear the end of this.

    Jayhawker wrote: »...But seriously Shush....

    Big Chief wrote: ».........walking around with a greasy butt ain't no fun, though!

     


     

  • samzheresamzhere Banned Posts: 10,923 Senior Member
    Big Chief wrote: »
    Oh boy..here we go again :popcorn::popcorn::popcorn::popcorn::popcorn::popcorn::popcorn:

    You left out 5 popcorns. If you don't have at least a dozen of the same emoticon sitting in a row, it isn't proof that you care sufficiently. And omitting too many emoticons also might mean that English words might be needed, so take caution. ha ha

    And no, I was just funnin' with an acolyte. They love it, as evidenced by their siglines of worship. Hey, sharing a paragraph with Elmer Keith? Keen, eh?

    Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read. - Groucho Marx
  • samzheresamzhere Banned Posts: 10,923 Senior Member
    shush wrote: »
    Speak softly but carry a red rag.

    Does a red rag indicate being an auto mechanic or 49ers fan? I forget which.

    Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read. - Groucho Marx
  • ZeeZee Senior Member Posts: 20,618 Senior Member
    samzhere wrote: »
    And no, I was just funnin' with an acolyte. They love it, as evidenced by their siglines of worship. Hey, sharing a paragraph with Elmer Keith? Keen, eh?

    Keep yourself in perspective, though..........you're small text under Keith.
    "To Hell with efficiency, it's performance we want!" - Elmer Keith
  • 5280 shooter II5280 shooter II Senior Member Posts: 3,923 Senior Member
    Big Chief wrote: »
    If ever there was an appropriate use fer this emoticon, it's on this thread. Is there one of a pissing contest they could add to the choices?

    Hey cool, look they are synchronized :tooth:

    :yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno::yesno:

    You know what this reminds me of?..........the exercise scene in Enter the Dragon........:tooth:
    God show's mercy on drunks and dumb animals.........two outa three ain't a bad score!
  • ZeeZee Senior Member Posts: 20,618 Senior Member
    Zee wrote: »
    Keep yourself in perspective, though..........you're small text under Keith.

    In light of this, I've reconsidered. There is no need to hide your accolades behind a fictitious name. So, I've placed your username behind your quote as it should be. Sorry for not giving you full credit before and using a childish pin name.
    "To Hell with efficiency, it's performance we want!" - Elmer Keith
  • breamfisherbreamfisher Senior Member Posts: 13,103 Senior Member
    So..... this is what some of my past urination contests with other forum members have looked like? Hmmm.
    Overkill is underrated.
  • ZeeZee Senior Member Posts: 20,618 Senior Member
    So..... this is what some of my past urination contests with other forum members have looked like? Hmmm.

    Oh, we're just playing now. As much as you all would like a war to kick off. Unfortunate disappointment looms in your future.
    "To Hell with efficiency, it's performance we want!" - Elmer Keith
Sign In or Register to comment.
Magazine Cover

GET THE MAGAZINE Subscribe & Save

Temporary Price Reduction

SUBSCRIBE NOW

Give a Gift   |   Subscriber Services

PREVIEW THIS MONTH'S ISSUE

GET THE NEWSLETTER Join the List and Never Miss a Thing.

Get the top Guns & Ammo stories delivered right to your inbox every week.