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You wont believe what happened to me ............

orchidmanorchidman Senior MemberPosts: 8,192 Senior Member
.........Had to go and pick up the business van cos my jeep is in the panelbeaters getting repaired after the guy across the road backed into it last month.

( Here is a pic of the damage btw)
charter27mar2014004_zps4264ec38.jpg

So, I pick up the van from my parents place and decided that I would stop at the local food market and do my grocery shopping while I was out.
I grab a shopping trundler on my way in the store and as I passed through the vegetable section I picked out some fruit and veges. I then head to the first aisle and noticed a little old lady following me and pushing her trolley slowly. She must have been about 80+ and looked like a typical grandmother, well dressed, hair and makeup perfect......
I head into the second aisle and noticed that she was following me............. Not just following but staring at me intensely. It was quite disconcerting actually. I head to the next aisle picking up a few items and again noticed her following me, still staring ( when she wasn't picking stuff off the shelves).

This continued in each aisle so I stopped next to the coffee pretending to try and choose which brand in order to let her pass..........so she stops before she gets to me and still stares.
By now I am thinking maybe my fly is open or I have split my pants or something, so I do the quick casual ' hitch my pants manouver' and check that everything is in order and find nothing amiss.
I finally decided to just ignore the silly old bag and continued to do my shopping. She followed me all around the store, still with the stares. I finally approach the checkout and she is right behind me. I turn to look at here and, yep, she is still staring at me but I noticed that her eyes were wet ....like she was on the verge of tears.

Enough of this crap I thought so I said rather harshly "Whats your problem Lady"

What she said next nearly floored me.........
She said that she was sorry for staring at me but she couldn't help it as I was the spitting image of her son who was killed in a car accident some years ago!

I immediately felt like a heel ( cos I had been glaring at her earlier) and expressed my sympathy. She then said that when she first saw me she honestly believed that I was her son and it brought back a flood of memories.

We talked for a few minutes while waiting for the queue to move and she described her son and what he meant to her. When we got close to the checkout she asked if she could go in front of me as she was still quite upset, so, being the gentleman I moved aside and she took my place. As the checkout girl ( Nice blonde btw) totalled her groceries the old lady turned to me and asked me if I would do her a favour. I thought she was going to ask me to help her to her car but she leaned in closer and asked me if I would give her a hug and say something like " Don't worry Mum, everything will be fine.
I figured ;what the heck so I gave her a hug and said "Its ok Mum" then started to unload my groceries.

The checkout girl then totals up my shopping and bags it .......then hands me the docket for $487.60!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!
I told her she must have made a mistake cos I only had about 25 items and I knew it couldn't be more than about $95 tops!

She then said that my Mum told her that I would be paying for her groceries as well!
I yelled that's not my Mum damnit!
She said that it certainly looked like she was my Mum and I even called her Mum.
I immediately took off into the carpark and saw the old lady just getting into her car, I ran towards her as she started it and grabbed the door handle, opened it and made a grab for the keys. She started driving off and I lost my balance ........as I fell over I grabbed hold of her leg.......she kept moving and I ended up being dragged across the carpark pulling her leg.

Talk about being sucked in.
Still enjoying the trip of a lifetime and making the best of what I have.....

Replies

  • minnesotashooterminnesotashooter Senior Member Posts: 790 Senior Member
    Its still March 31st here, your a day early
  • NNNN Senior Member Posts: 24,872 Senior Member
    Figured it out in the middle of the last paragraph.

    But, shopping trundler? :silly:
  • Big Al1Big Al1 Senior Member Posts: 8,064 Senior Member
    Did you get her number plate??
  • tennmiketennmike Senior Member Posts: 27,457 Senior Member
    You posted an April Fool's joke early from tomorrow and have caused a giant rift in the space time continuum. We're doomed! :silly::tooth:
      I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer”
    ― Douglas Adams
  • bobbyrlf3bobbyrlf3 Senior Member Posts: 2,562 Senior Member
    You're right. I don't believe you. :jester:
    Knowledge is essential to living freely and fully; understanding gives knowledge purpose and strength; wisdom is combining the two and applying them appropriately in words and actions.
  • Miss MaryMiss Mary Senior Member Posts: 740 Senior Member
    UH ALEC, IT'S NOT NICE TO PULL AN OLD WOMAN'S LEG! :nono:
  • BuffcoBuffco Senior Member Posts: 6,244 Senior Member
    I read this title and instantly thought it was a letter to Penthouse.
  • orchidmanorchidman Senior Member Posts: 8,192 Senior Member
    tennmike wrote: »
    You posted an April Fool's joke early from tomorrow and have caused a giant rift in the space time continuum. We're doomed! :silly::tooth:

    Yup. Its tomorrow here today. Better I should post it up and not miss out.

    Having caught you guys for the past couple of years I think you view any posts I make on the 31st of March with suspicion :jester:
    Still enjoying the trip of a lifetime and making the best of what I have.....
  • VarmintmistVarmintmist Senior Member Posts: 7,541 Senior Member
    orchidman wrote: »
    Yup. Its tomorrow here today. Better I should post it up and not miss out.

    Having caught you guys for the past couple of years I think you view any posts I make with suspicion :jester:

    FIFY
    It's boring, and your lack of creativity knows no bounds.
  • JermanatorJermanator Senior Member Posts: 16,132 Senior Member
    Buffco wrote: »
    I read this title and instantly thought it was a letter to Penthouse.
    Me too. I was waiting for him to start talking about some hot geriatric action.
    Reason obeys itself; and ignorance submits to whatever is dictated to it.
    -Thomas Paine
  • olesniperolesniper Senior Member Posts: 3,763 Senior Member
    I think I ran into that old lady's sister, at Wally World. I stopped in there to get a 50 lb. bag of dog food. I was standing in the checkout, when this little old lady got in line, behind me. After a couple of minutes, she tapped me on the shoulder and asked me if I had a dog. I told her the dog food was for my weight loss diet and I had been eating it for years, but I hadn't had any in a while cause I was in the hospital and they wouldn't let me eat the dog food, there. She asked me if the dog food had made me sick. I told her no, it hadn't. I was in the hospital because I had been walking across a street.................when I stopped to lick my balls and got hit by a bus.
    Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
    I will fear no evil: For I carry a .308 and not a .270
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