How can we "help" Teach get better?

samzheresamzhere BannedPosts: 10,923 Senior Member
We all know and love Teach (Jerry) and wish him a good and quick recovery, and of course wish Miss Mary and all the family best spirits and energy to help, that's evident as in the other thread, how much we really care. An extended family, as has been said so eloquently.

With Teach out of danger however, I thought how we can "help" his recovery by suggesting humorous items about him, "helpful suggestions" that might give him a smile. Okay?

So...

As I said in the other thread, it looks as if Teach will be getting some stainless implants. I've got 'em in my left shoulder and fake left knee, also stainless wire in my once-sawn in half sternum, and I can offer this:

The metal implants are secretly designed (by smart female physicians) to give off "warning pulses" to pretty nurses and other cute hospital staff. When a pretty girl gets near one of these implants, she gets a "run away" subconscious suggestion and simply steers away from the bedside. I know it works because only ugly nurses attended to me. Or maybe only gruff male attendants.

Despite these implants, however, the occasional pretty nurse will either ignore or not pick up the signals, and therefore hospitals have implemented a secondary "shield" system, secretly putting "watch out!" warning signals on the patient's chart or medical records.

I know this for a fact.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

Replies

  • Big Al1Big Al1 Senior Member Posts: 7,004 Senior Member
    It sucks when family members are so far away and they need help. Makes me fell helpless, too. Anyhow, I'll probably be sending at least a card. If anyone needs Jerry's address please PM me, I don't want to post it on line for all the other world to see!!
  • samzheresamzhere Banned Posts: 10,923 Senior Member
    Thanks, Big. You should also post this to the Teach had bike wreck thread, too. When I had my major heart attack and open heart surgery both my stepsons (one in Missouri, one in Oregon) plus my nephew in KC were ready to drive or fly down but I told them no, stay home, I'll be too messed up to enjoy the visit, to come later when I'm back on my feet again. Regardless, having loved ones so far away is a hassle, as you say.

    I'm sort of thinking we could use this thread for some humorous "get well" silly stuff that Teach will enjoy reading a bit later, as he's recuperating. But of course serious messages are welcome, Teach being our pal.

    Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read. - Groucho Marx
Sign In or Register to comment.
Magazine Cover

GET THE MAGAZINE Subscribe & Save

Temporary Price Reduction

SUBSCRIBE NOW

Give a Gift   |   Subscriber Services

PREVIEW THIS MONTH'S ISSUE

GET THE NEWSLETTER Join the List and Never Miss a Thing.

Get the top Guns & Ammo stories delivered right to your inbox every week.