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Cheetoh734
Senior MemberSeattle, WaPosts: 714 Senior Member
Feedback on recent happening appreciated.

So my co-worker's husband was at the library last week and was involved in an incident that I thought was worth sharing. The second reason I am sharing the incident is that some friends of theirs are doing a bit of armchair quarterbacking, talking about he "should have" handled the situation and the like. Feedback from those more qualified than me would be appreciated.
A little backstory is that my co-worker's husband is a cancer survivor and has had a large portion of his jaw and facial structure removed, some of it has been replaced with titanium but he has only about half of his jaw left. He is still in recovery and is not currently working which is why he was at the library on a weekday. He is also a CPL holder and was carrying IWB at the time of the incident.
He was at the library last Friday when a younger couple a few tables over began arguing. What appeared to be a late teen/early twenties african american male and a similarly aged Caucasian female were verbally arguing. Soon after the male, splashed a cup of water on the girl and then began slapping her. He then grabbed her by her hair and threw her to the ground and was on her slapping her in the face. The other people in the library weren't doing anything at this point. He stepped in and said "i think its time for you to go" to the male. Both parties stood up and he placed himself in between the two of them and repeated that it was time for the male to leave. At this point the male became angry with him and began punching him in the face. The husband did not fight back but put his arm and one leg out to try and maintain distance between himself and the male. At some point the two of them fell over and the husband's pistol was partially exposed. The male then got up and ran out of the library before the Police arrived. The Police took his statement. As far as we know the male was not apprehended. The husband never drew his firearm or swung back at the male. He has several decent cuts on his face, especially where the skin is directly over the titanium. He had a black eye bad enough that is was swollen shut by friday night.
It was my opinion that the husband handled the situation as best as he possibly could, and I commended him for remaining in control the whole time without risking lives or serious legal ramifications. I was curious what your opinions are.
Some of the people they know are saying that he should have drawn or even fired. He seems to be having a little self doubt at this point, I don't know that I'll show him this but I am curious your thoughts.
Thanks in advance.
A little backstory is that my co-worker's husband is a cancer survivor and has had a large portion of his jaw and facial structure removed, some of it has been replaced with titanium but he has only about half of his jaw left. He is still in recovery and is not currently working which is why he was at the library on a weekday. He is also a CPL holder and was carrying IWB at the time of the incident.
He was at the library last Friday when a younger couple a few tables over began arguing. What appeared to be a late teen/early twenties african american male and a similarly aged Caucasian female were verbally arguing. Soon after the male, splashed a cup of water on the girl and then began slapping her. He then grabbed her by her hair and threw her to the ground and was on her slapping her in the face. The other people in the library weren't doing anything at this point. He stepped in and said "i think its time for you to go" to the male. Both parties stood up and he placed himself in between the two of them and repeated that it was time for the male to leave. At this point the male became angry with him and began punching him in the face. The husband did not fight back but put his arm and one leg out to try and maintain distance between himself and the male. At some point the two of them fell over and the husband's pistol was partially exposed. The male then got up and ran out of the library before the Police arrived. The Police took his statement. As far as we know the male was not apprehended. The husband never drew his firearm or swung back at the male. He has several decent cuts on his face, especially where the skin is directly over the titanium. He had a black eye bad enough that is was swollen shut by friday night.
It was my opinion that the husband handled the situation as best as he possibly could, and I commended him for remaining in control the whole time without risking lives or serious legal ramifications. I was curious what your opinions are.
Some of the people they know are saying that he should have drawn or even fired. He seems to be having a little self doubt at this point, I don't know that I'll show him this but I am curious your thoughts.
Thanks in advance.
Replies
How would you know in this instance that his slap wouldn't turn to a solid punch to her temple or throat? I commend him for standing up to him, not sure I wouldn't have moved more aggressively had his violence turned to me. After all, if this happened on the street or in a parking garage, would you not get distance by taking your CW out? I know I would.
Jerry
EDIT: This post is in response to pjames.
No he shouldn't have drawn his weapon. If I were in his condition I would not have even done as much. Would have called the police instead.
:agree:
If the chick stayed, then refer her to a women's shelter.
All in all, I would say he handled it quite well. Good on him.
-Mikhail Kalashnikov
Thanks for your feedback guys.
That's bar room brawl sop.
A library, has big books :yesno:
I think he handled it well. Dunno what I would have done, probably intervened in one fashion or another. I hope guy makes a full recovery and the GF finds something better than that dirtball to be with.
Words of wisdom from Big Chief: Flush twice, it's a long way to the Mess Hall
I'd rather have my sister work in a whorehouse than own another Taurus!
According to what I was told, the girl left soon after the guy. The only one that stuck around was the husband and other people at the library. I think the reason they were able to charge the guy later was that the husband was willing to identify him. I'm still a little shocked that they actually arrested the guy though, I thought that was pretty cool.
Same here...knowing you shouldn't and not doing it are two different things. I would want somebody to step in if that were my daughter, so that is most likely what would be going through my mind. Like Bobby, I don't think I would have waited to be hit more than once to strike back, but sometimes waiting for the first hit is waiting two hits too long...
All in all, it's easy to armchair quarterback this, but much harder to figure things out as they happen...I think he done good.
George Carlin
No fault in that.
What if he's a full head taller than you, twice as mean as you ever were, and a sour drunk into the mix. How much provocation must John Q endure before clearing leather and ending the confrontation by either threat or by action? No one wants to find himself in more trouble than the bad guy just for defusing a situation by the presentation of a weapon. That's what I hate about MD: unless bad guy is actively in the process of carving you up, you'd better not brandish or even reveal. All that goblin has to say to the police is that you intimidated him by revealing, and now you're up the creek, guilty until proven innocent, and you just may never see your weapon again, regardless of the outcome of any hearings or trials. Welcome to -for-brains MD, where "they" have rights and you don't.
I agree completely... however in the heat of the moment I know that getting on my phone isn't always the first thing that comes to mind. It probably should be though.
Yep. Saw a couple guys get in fights trying to protect a wo.man from her boyfriend/husbands public beat down, only to find the woman on their back trying to claw their eyes out because they were hitting their boyfriend/husband
Since I started reading this I was thinking of that too. Sometimes women will side with their lover even if he's beating her senseless and threatening her life.
It's no wonder people don't want to get involved.
Son that's somebody with nothing to do with his time but keep me in trouble with mom.
A similar thing happened to me in Southern Maryland, a man unknown to me, ran over to a Co-worker I was conversing with, and began to choke her badly.
I did not want to draw my sidearm on him,
So I yelled at him to cease and desist.
I yelled that I could see what he was doing to her etc, and he dropped her and ran back in inside his mobile home and hid, he was arrested by Deputies a bit later.