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What women say vs. what men hear

JerryBobCoJerryBobCo Senior MemberPosts: 8,227 Senior Member
A woman asks her husband to go to the store for her. She says "get a carton of milk. If they have avocados, get 6."

He comes home a little bit later with 6 cartons of milk. She asks why he got 6 cartons of milk.

He replies "they had avocados."
Jerry

Gun control laws make about as much sense as taking ex-lax to cure a cough.
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Replies

  • NNNN Senior Member Posts: 24,954 Senior Member
    That is perfectly reasonable
  • zorbazorba Senior Member Posts: 24,600 Senior Member
    That depends upon one's use of global vs. local variables.
    -Zorba, "The Veiled Male"

    "If you get it and didn't work for it, someone else worked for it and didn't get it..."
  • NNNN Senior Member Posts: 24,954 Senior Member
    No, it is because women are so smart, they refuse to use the 4 Ws [who, what, when & where] when telling someone to do or get something or in any planning
    for that matter.
  • woodsrunnerwoodsrunner Senior Member Posts: 2,725 Senior Member
    Women are in charge, and all 'yall need to understand that! Besides, women own 100% of all other "good and valuable consideration". Understand?
  • breamfisherbreamfisher Senior Member Posts: 13,692 Senior Member
    Your first mistake was thinking she understood "specifically."

    Your second is thinking you can teach her the word "specifically."
    Overkill is underrated.
  • rberglofrberglof Senior Member Posts: 2,772 Senior Member
    You miss understood what I meant to say!
    That was said by a boss I used to have, a man.
  • Wild TurkeyWild Turkey Member Posts: 78 Member
    Saw a sign once that read:

    "Men, be careful in dealing with women.

    They can remember things that haven't happened yet."
  • TeachTeach Senior Member Posts: 18,428 Senior Member
    "While women's faults are many, we men have only two- - - - -everything we say, and everything we do!"

    The owner of a small trucking company where I did the mechanic work preferred to hire women drivers- - - -"You girls are sitting on what all these guys are chasing! You are bound to pay more attention to your driving!"
    Jerry
  • snake284snake284 Senior Member Posts: 22,429 Senior Member
    cpj wrote: »
    There is no think, only do.
    We've had this "discussion" multiple times over the years. I won't relent. I've made the statement, I'm standing by it. While I know it falls on deaf (dumb, she's her parents child, never had a chance really) ears, I'm still sticking with it. At least I'm consistent. Delusional yes, but consistent. The times I've heard "you know what I meant", or, "you should have known what I meant" can't be counted.
    Yet, I stand. Steadfast. Like a rock. THIS IS SPARTA!

    I don't know about SPARTA, but I know that the first time I heard my first EX talk like I should be a mind reader I shoud have known immediately there was a bad forboding on the Horizon. Now with two divorces under my belt, I'm finally getting to understand what she meant.......:buff2:......:silly:........:nono:
    Daddy, what's an enabler?
    Son that's somebody with nothing to do with his time but keep me in trouble with mom.
  • HAWKENHAWKEN Senior Member Posts: 1,720 Senior Member
    One of my dad's favorite sayings was, "If they didn't have a vagina, there would be a bounty on them" robin
    I don't often talk to people that voted for Obama, but when I do I order large fries!
    Life member of the American Legion, the VFW, the NRA and the Masonic Lodge, retired LEO
  • LMLarsenLMLarsen Senior Member Posts: 8,337 Senior Member
    In the early days of our marriage, Wife had to go to Baltimore for some meeting. She called me from the Beltway and asked what she should look for for the Baltimore exit.

    I told her to look for a big green sign that said "Baltimore" with an exit number.

    cpj knows how well that went over.
    “A gun is a tool, no better or no worse than any other tool: an axe, a shovel or anything. A gun is as good or as bad as the man using it. Remember that.”

    NRA Endowment Member
  • MississippiBoyMississippiBoy Senior Member Posts: 819 Senior Member
    One saying I just learned last week is, "I don't know what I said until you tell me what you heard." In other words, get your wives to repeat back what you just told them.
    Betcha 99 times out of 100 they'll say it back wrong.
  • MississippiBoyMississippiBoy Senior Member Posts: 819 Senior Member
    cpj wrote: »
    Oh don't even start with driving directions. I've FINALLY got her to use her damn phone for gps.
    "I don't know how to get there."

    "Ask your phone. It works. Trust me. "

    My wife isn't great with directions, but she's not terrible. Her mother, on the other hand, would get lost in her own bedroom if we hadn't put arrows on the wall labeled "Hall," "Bathroom," and "Bed."
    We've lived in our house since December 2014, so we're getting close to a year and a half here. My MIL STILL gets lost if she comes by herself, and that's even with her car's GPS telling her exactly where to turn.
  • JerryBobCoJerryBobCo Senior Member Posts: 8,227 Senior Member
    It's interesting how you guys have totally flipped this from "what women say and men hear" to "what men say and women hear". Also, I posted it as a joke, nothing more. But, it's fun to read the comments, so please carry on.
    Jerry

    Gun control laws make about as much sense as taking ex-lax to cure a cough.
  • NNNN Senior Member Posts: 24,954 Senior Member
    Clean couldn't use a map to save her life when we first got married, now she is as good at it as most.
    The problem was the top of the map had to be at the top instead of the map oriented in the direction your going.

    The GPS is sometimes hard.
  • NNNN Senior Member Posts: 24,954 Senior Member
    One saying I just learned last week is, "I don't know what I said until you tell me what you heard." In other words, get your wives to repeat back what you just told them.
    Betcha 99 times out of 100 they'll say it back wrong.
    I know for a fact Clean hears what she expects to hear and believes she said what she wanted to say, no matter what.
  • NNNN Senior Member Posts: 24,954 Senior Member
    :jester:
    cpj wrote: »
    FIFY.
    When you get to be 37 twice, tell me about it.

    When I was your age I was doing air to air work with a ground mapping radar----so stuff it, hey.

    :iwo:
  • VarmintmistVarmintmist Senior Member Posts: 7,654 Senior Member
    won_zpsl6hbm8e8.jpg
    It's boring, and your lack of creativity knows no bounds.
  • Six-GunSix-Gun Senior Member Posts: 8,155 Senior Member
    cpj wrote: »
    There is no think, only do.
    We've had this "discussion" multiple times over the years. I won't relent. I've made the statement, I'm standing by it. While I know it falls on deaf (dumb, she's her parents child, never had a chance really) ears, I'm still sticking with it. At least I'm consistent. Delusional yes, but consistent. The times I've heard "you know what I meant", or, "you should have known what I meant" can't be counted.
    Yet, I stand. Steadfast. Like a rock. THIS IS SPARTA!
    Over my years of marriage, I've only been able to coincidentally decipher a handful of female phrases. One of those comes when asking my wife where she would like to eat. The standard reply, of course, is "wherever you want." Like many men, I have found out the hard way that what this really means is, "you'd better guess correctly at where I'm thinking about eating right now, or I'm going to whine about it later."
    Accuracy: because white space between bullet holes drives me insane.
  • bisleybisley Senior Member Posts: 10,812 Senior Member
    Of course, there is another dimension to this - that is actually being able to read their minds and not giving it away to them. The frustration they have because we don't read their minds might explode into something much worse, if they knew we were faking it. Better to play dumb and accept the reaction we are used to, than open up that Pandora's box.

    O, what a tangled web we weave...
  • Big ChiefBig Chief Senior Member Posts: 32,995 Senior Member
    They save up of our misdeeds (wrong choices according to them) and sometimes cut loose with both barrels all at once when you least expect it................then you feel like a heel............do a U-turn back to that little shop they have been nagging you to stop at every time you pass the turn off..........usually when that is the last place you wanted to stop and were making good time on the road.
    It's only true if it's on this forum where opinions are facts and facts are opinions
    Words of wisdom from Big Chief: Flush twice, it's a long way to the Mess Hall
    I'd rather have my sister work in a whorehouse than own another Taurus!
  • breamfisherbreamfisher Senior Member Posts: 13,692 Senior Member
    Lothar of the Hill People: You know, I will do battle with my woman, and lose. I will do battle with my woman, and win.. and yet, I still lose! And I am supposed to feel great sorrow for her! I swear, by Zeena's teats, if I hand her advantage on the field of war, I would be a god.
    Overkill is underrated.
  • breamfisherbreamfisher Senior Member Posts: 13,692 Senior Member
    Have you worn the brown helmet?
    Overkill is underrated.
  • Big ChiefBig Chief Senior Member Posts: 32,995 Senior Member
    And if you are too agreeable and start doing almost all they ask for, then they think you have been up to something (lining up another gun deal/layaway/contemplating one...) and feel guilty. Lose Lose Situation for us, usually, just go with the flow and try to find the boundaries they set fer you or you feel safe operating within.

    It must be genetic.
    It's only true if it's on this forum where opinions are facts and facts are opinions
    Words of wisdom from Big Chief: Flush twice, it's a long way to the Mess Hall
    I'd rather have my sister work in a whorehouse than own another Taurus!
  • Diver43Diver43 Senior Member Posts: 11,697 Senior Member
    Stop at red light and guys is selling roses for 5 bucks. Roll down window and say give me the pink, yellow, red whatever color and bring them home. Here honey, and the first thing she says is oh thank you, NOPE she says:
    What did you do, what do you want and how much is it gonna cost?????
    Logistics cannot win a war, but its absence or inadequacy can cause defeat. FM100-5
  • Lonewolf-PeruLonewolf-Peru Member Posts: 621 Senior Member
    Diver43 wrote: »
    Stop at red light and guys is selling roses for 5 bucks. Roll down window and say give me the pink, yellow, red whatever color and bring them home. Here honey, and the first thing she says is oh thank you, NOPE she says:
    What did you do, what do you want and how much is it gonna cost?????

    You made me remember a comic strip from "Blondie".

    Dagwood is going home and sees an advertise of discount at a Candy store. He goes in and ask for a small box of chocolate. The Clerk tells him that the discount is also available for the big box, but Dagwood declines the offer.

    At home, Blondie is delighted ..."...what a lovely box!...you remembered me!!"

    in the final panel, Dagwood breaks the fourth wall and says: "if you buy the big box, she'll think you did something wrong"
  • MississippiBoyMississippiBoy Senior Member Posts: 819 Senior Member
    cpj wrote: »
    I refuse to worry about those. Only ones I worry about are the ones I KNOW I DID.
    Like, one time.....wife asked me to fix her some ice cream. I said (swear to God I did) "do you really think you need it?" I'll own that one. Of course, that incident sharpened my filtering skills.

    Shots fired! Shots fired!
    I'm surprised you're still alive. How's your limp?
  • VarmintmistVarmintmist Senior Member Posts: 7,654 Senior Member
    cpj wrote: »
    Ugh. Hate that.
    I ask where do you want to eat. She says I don't care. I say ______. She says no.
    You stop after the second sentence.

    "I ask where do you want to eat. She says I don't care." Say "OK", and start getting dressed. Get in the car, and take her where you want to go. If you pull in to Outback for ex and she starts saying she doesnt want to eat at Outback, pull the keys, get out, and go in. One of two things will happen. She will stay in the car and you eat dinner, or she will come in and eat dinner with you.
    It's boring, and your lack of creativity knows no bounds.
  • Diver43Diver43 Senior Member Posts: 11,697 Senior Member
    You stop after the second sentence.

    "I ask where do you want to eat. She says I don't care." Say "OK", and start getting dressed. Get in the car, and take her where you want to go. If you pull in to Outback for ex and she starts saying she doesnt want to eat at Outback, pull the keys, get out, and go in. One of two things will happen. She will stay in the car and you eat dinner, or she will come in and eat dinner with you.

    Yup, but what about the next lets say 25 years or so?
    Logistics cannot win a war, but its absence or inadequacy can cause defeat. FM100-5
  • Diver43Diver43 Senior Member Posts: 11,697 Senior Member
    Exactly, where to eat dinner is simply not worth making a point over.
    Best to pick the battles worth being walking wounded over.
    Logistics cannot win a war, but its absence or inadequacy can cause defeat. FM100-5
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