Holy regularity Batman

Varmintmist

The older I get, the fewer times I can pull a full morning on stand. When the appointment is for 0830 and you put it off till 0915............. put it this way, 400 yards through the woods is a loooong way to go when the groundhog is peeking.

Doing a brunch, then going to go back out and sit for a while

Jermanator

I would have one less glove.

Six-Gun

One of the Montana stories that cpj alluded to in my Montana hunt thread involved sorta the same emergency with one of my hunting buddies. He may or may not have crapped on another hunting buddy's running board in a rush to regularity...and his expended paper may or may not have been picked up in front of us by an unwary but very responsible fellow hunter (read: stranger) trying to keep nature clean...

Fisheadgib

It's not just while hunting, I was across the pasture covering up some hay when the clock started running out. I was walking funny back to the house and thought that I was going to fertilize the pasture with the horses.

bisley

I had been married for a couple of years before curiosity overwhelmed my bride.

Question: "Why are there so many pieces of handkerchiefs in your underwear drawer? I've never even seen you use a handkerchief."

Answer: "I use toilet paper or kleenex to blow my nose, or just blow it out on the ground if I'm alone in the woods."

Question: "Then why do you always carry a handkerchief, or a piece of one?"

Answer: "I'm a surveyor. I spend 1/3 of my life in the boonies, and the trees have no leaves in the fall. Figure it out."

Question: "Oh...but why are there 1/4, 1/2, and 3/4 of a handkerchief left over?"

Answer: "Because you never know if it's over, until it's over. Just be glad that you don't see shirts with the tails torn off, or see my socks disappearing."



Hunting? If I'm really serious about staying put, I'll take a 5 gallon bucket with a trash can liner with me. I 'hunt' from a box stand these days, and sometimes have a grand kid with me, so it is the best solution I've found. Not exactly traditional or purist hunting technique, but I care less about that, since I've gotten older. If I'm in the mood to be a 'ninja stealth stalker,' I'll go squirrel hunting with a .22.

Teach

A trailer hitch receiver, a toilet seat, some square tubing, and a bucket can be combined to make a field-expedient porta-potty. If you want to be environmentally responsible, a biodegradable paper grocery bag can be used as a bucket liner and buried promptly. Whether or not you build a blind around the trailer hitch depends on how bashful you happen to be and/or the urgency of the situation!

Northern Tool and Supply has one already assembled for those folks who are lacking some basic handyman skills:

http://www.ebay.com/itm/Off-Road-Commode-Hitch-Receiver-Mounted-Toilet-Seat-/391030642707?hash=item5b0b3e1813:g:6LYAAOSweW5VVK~j&vxp=mtr

Jerry

Farm Boy Deuce

Way back when I worked on the farm I came home once or twice missing a shirt sleeve and once missing the bottom of my shirt, no sleeves on that one.

One time I almost burned my ass sitting across a bale spike that had been in the sun a while.

Usually I carried a roll of paper butt sometimes it was missing.

CHIRO1989

I had to find a log to sit on after dragging DeanC's buck this year

snake284

CHIRO1989 wrote: »

I had to find a log to sit on after dragging DeanC's buck this year

Speaking of whom where is Dean C these days?

Elk creek

Light weights. Growing up out west, when hunting always have "an appropriate" amount of TP in your coat pocket or day pack. And matches.

CHIRO1989

snake284 wrote: »

Speaking of whom where is Dean C these days?

Look on facebook.

Varmintmist

Oh, I carry 3 paper towels in a gal freezer bag at all times when hunting. The towels are for cleaning up after gutting and the bag is for the heart. However, the secondary purpose of the towels is for a hunters squat.

I camped with the scouts on quite a few trips in the woods. I even hosted the annual "poop in the woods night" at my place. It is amazing how many younger kids cant even get that into their head and them having a meltdown 400 yards from a house is a lot better than having one 20 miles upriver from anything. That said, I can, I have, and I am prepared to, doesnt mean I like to. I would be just fine living in the 1700's, except for the lack of indoor plumbing.

Six-Gun

Doesn't a chamber pot count as "indoor plumbing?"

Varmintmist

cpj wrote: »

I suppose a little introduction to doing what bears do in a safe environment would be good before leading a gaggle of kids on a larger excursion, at least for the leaders sanity. Of course they can cry all they want, but when poop decides it's time, it's time. Suck it up buttercup, cop a squat and let er rip.

Guess what happens when "cop a squat" doesnt enter their mind? No conception of the mechanics or awareness that it can be done. There isnt as much control and waiting till the last possible second to decide that it would be a good idea to ask a leader who is 500 yards through the woods away for information on how doesnt always work out.

Varmintmist

Six-Gun wrote: »

Doesn't a chamber pot count as "indoor plumbing?"

no

Hot and cold running water, a handle that makes poop go away.

Hondo341

They WILL go eventually! Just depends if they take your advice when the turtle is sniffin' cotton.

41magnut

Farm Boy Deuce wrote: »

Way back when I worked on the farm I came home once or twice missing a shirt sleeve and once missing the bottom of my shirt, no sleeves on that one.

One time I almost burned my ass sitting across a bale spike that had been in the sun a while.

Usually I carried a roll of paper butt sometimes it was missing.

That is just too funny. What's funnier is I've been there.

Sent from my SM-T520 using Tapatalk

41magnut

41magnut wrote: »

That is just too funny. What's funnier is I've been there.

Sent from my SM-T520 using Tapatalk

What is the worst part,

Bad knees mean the squat, w/o something to lean against, is more of a bend over. One has to be quite careful or missing a shirt tail will be the least of your worries.

I call official!

This topic has reached the "TMI" threshold.



Sent from my SM-T520 using Tapatalk

Six-Gun

Hey, as long as you can bend over far enough that you won't "fill the hammock," it's all good.

jbp-ohio

jbp-ohio

cpj wrote: »

The wrong angle and the wrong food consumed could result in a new paint job for those rims.

.......... and your shoes and/or pants.

Varmintmist

Six-Gun wrote: »

Hey, as long as you can bend over far enough that you won't "fill the hammock," it's all good.

A guy I used to hunt with had a brother that bought a full orange snowmobile suit for hunting.

Well the groundhog started peekin and that suit no longer had a sewn on hood....

Varmintmist

cpj wrote: »

A generation who can't **** in the woods without instructions is doomed.

Naa. Its just that no one ever mentioned it to them and the idea isnt there. When the movement arrives, its good to understand that leaning back against a tree works, sitting over a log, copping a squat, or using a E-tool inverted for a one cheek seat are all workable.

breamfisher

You know who spends time discussing movements?

Old people.
This place is becoming like a nursing home.

RugerFan

Nah. Just wait until we start comparing aches, pains, surgery scars, and.doctor.visits.

breamfisher

cpj wrote: »

You checked your calendar recently, Spring Chicken?

That I am not.

But I don't spend time discussing bowel movements, complaining about new technology, and wondering how "kids these days" are trying to communicate. Some are shuffling off to old fartdom much faster than I.

Varmintmist

breamfisher wrote: »

That I am not.

But I don't spend time discussing bowel movements

Yet here you are on a thread that has taken on a life of its own... which was started with a observation, not a complaint.

Varmintmist

Hes just getting grumpy in his old age..


GET OFF MY LAWN

Six-Gun

Varmintmist wrote: »

Hes just getting grumpy in his old age..


GET OFF MY LAWN

Teach

Still looking at the top side of the grass has a lot of advantages, even if the aches, pains, and BM's sometimes become more of a topic for discussion than rating the eye candy walking by at the mall parking lot!
Jerry

tennmike

My 'tree house' tree stands are big enough to accommodate the swivel seat to hunt from and a 5 gallon bucket with seat and small garbage bag. I take a roll of TP in my pack. And doing farm work from a tractor is interesting when nature calls. I've used the disc gang beam for a seat, the tongue of a wagon, the three point hitch drawbar(adjustable height for your comfort :tooth: ), and various and sundry other things dragged behind the tractor for a 'seat'. TP roll is in a zip lock bag in the toolbox. I refuse to use a log/downed tree for a seat; this place is haired over with copperheads and I don't want to get bit 'there' or 'there' either! A bent over sapling makes a handy seat in the woods if you don't wanna squat.