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Holy regularity Batman

VarmintmistVarmintmist Senior MemberWestern PAPosts: 8,242 Senior Member
The older I get, the fewer times I can pull a full morning on stand. When the appointment is for 0830 and you put it off till 0915............. put it this way, 400 yards through the woods is a loooong way to go when the groundhog is peeking.

Doing a brunch, then going to go back out and sit for a while
It's boring, and your lack of creativity knows no bounds.
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Replies

  • JermanatorJermanator Senior Member Posts: 16,244 Senior Member
    I would have one less glove.
    Reason obeys itself; and ignorance submits to whatever is dictated to it.
    -Thomas Paine
  • Six-GunSix-Gun Senior Member Eastern NebraskaPosts: 8,155 Senior Member
    One of the Montana stories that cpj alluded to in my Montana hunt thread involved sorta the same emergency with one of my hunting buddies. He may or may not have crapped on another hunting buddy's running board in a rush to regularity...and his expended paper may or may not have been picked up in front of us by an unwary but very responsible fellow hunter (read: stranger) trying to keep nature clean...
    Accuracy: because white space between bullet holes drives me insane.
  • FisheadgibFisheadgib Senior Member crusted in sandPosts: 5,797 Senior Member
    It's not just while hunting, I was across the pasture covering up some hay when the clock started running out. I was walking funny back to the house and thought that I was going to fertilize the pasture with the horses.
    snake284 wrote: »
    For my point of view, cpj is a lot like me
    .
  • bisleybisley Senior Member East TexasPosts: 10,815 Senior Member
    I had been married for a couple of years before curiosity overwhelmed my bride.

    Question: "Why are there so many pieces of handkerchiefs in your underwear drawer? I've never even seen you use a handkerchief."

    Answer: "I use toilet paper or kleenex to blow my nose, or just blow it out on the ground if I'm alone in the woods."

    Question: "Then why do you always carry a handkerchief, or a piece of one?"

    Answer: "I'm a surveyor. I spend 1/3 of my life in the boonies, and the trees have no leaves in the fall. Figure it out."

    Question: "Oh...but why are there 1/4, 1/2, and 3/4 of a handkerchief left over?"

    Answer: "Because you never know if it's over, until it's over. Just be glad that you don't see shirts with the tails torn off, or see my socks disappearing."



    Hunting? If I'm really serious about staying put, I'll take a 5 gallon bucket with a trash can liner with me. I 'hunt' from a box stand these days, and sometimes have a grand kid with me, so it is the best solution I've found. Not exactly traditional or purist hunting technique, but I care less about that, since I've gotten older. If I'm in the mood to be a 'ninja stealth stalker,' I'll go squirrel hunting with a .22.
  • TeachTeach Senior Member Dellrose TNPosts: 18,428 Senior Member
    A trailer hitch receiver, a toilet seat, some square tubing, and a bucket can be combined to make a field-expedient porta-potty. If you want to be environmentally responsible, a biodegradable paper grocery bag can be used as a bucket liner and buried promptly. Whether or not you build a blind around the trailer hitch depends on how bashful you happen to be and/or the urgency of the situation!

    Northern Tool and Supply has one already assembled for those folks who are lacking some basic handyman skills:

    http://www.ebay.com/itm/Off-Road-Commode-Hitch-Receiver-Mounted-Toilet-Seat-/391030642707?hash=item5b0b3e1813:g:6LYAAOSweW5VVK~j&vxp=mtr

    Jerry
  • Farm Boy DeuceFarm Boy Deuce Senior Member Posts: 6,083 Senior Member
    Way back when I worked on the farm I came home once or twice missing a shirt sleeve and once missing the bottom of my shirt, no sleeves on that one.

    One time I almost burned my ass sitting across a bale spike that had been in the sun a while.

    Usually I carried a roll of paper butt sometimes it was missing.
    I am afraid we forget sometime that the basic and simple things brings us the most pleasure.
    Dad 5-31-13
  • CHIRO1989CHIRO1989 Senior Member Central MNPosts: 14,671 Senior Member
    I had to find a log to sit on after dragging DeanC's buck this year
    I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that they turn away from their ways and live. Eze 33:11
  • snake284snake284 Senior Member Posts: 22,429 Senior Member
    CHIRO1989 wrote: »
    I had to find a log to sit on after dragging DeanC's buck this year

    Speaking of whom where is Dean C these days?
    Daddy, what's an enabler?
    Son that's somebody with nothing to do with his time but keep me in trouble with mom.
  • Elk creekElk creek Senior Member Colorado!Posts: 7,717 Senior Member
    Light weights. Growing up out west, when hunting always have "an appropriate" amount of TP in your coat pocket or day pack. And matches.
    Aim higher, or get a bigger gun.
  • CHIRO1989CHIRO1989 Senior Member Central MNPosts: 14,671 Senior Member
    snake284 wrote: »
    Speaking of whom where is Dean C these days?

    Look on facebook.
    I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that they turn away from their ways and live. Eze 33:11
  • VarmintmistVarmintmist Senior Member Western PAPosts: 8,242 Senior Member
    Oh, I carry 3 paper towels in a gal freezer bag at all times when hunting. The towels are for cleaning up after gutting and the bag is for the heart. However, the secondary purpose of the towels is for a hunters squat.

    I camped with the scouts on quite a few trips in the woods. I even hosted the annual "poop in the woods night" at my place. It is amazing how many younger kids cant even get that into their head and them having a meltdown 400 yards from a house is a lot better than having one 20 miles upriver from anything. That said, I can, I have, and I am prepared to, doesnt mean I like to. I would be just fine living in the 1700's, except for the lack of indoor plumbing.
    It's boring, and your lack of creativity knows no bounds.
  • Six-GunSix-Gun Senior Member Eastern NebraskaPosts: 8,155 Senior Member
    Doesn't a chamber pot count as "indoor plumbing?"
    Accuracy: because white space between bullet holes drives me insane.
  • VarmintmistVarmintmist Senior Member Western PAPosts: 8,242 Senior Member
    cpj wrote: »
    I suppose a little introduction to doing what bears do in a safe environment would be good before leading a gaggle of kids on a larger excursion, at least for the leaders sanity. Of course they can cry all they want, but when poop decides it's time, it's time. Suck it up buttercup, cop a squat and let er rip.
    Guess what happens when "cop a squat" doesnt enter their mind? No conception of the mechanics or awareness that it can be done. There isnt as much control and waiting till the last possible second to decide that it would be a good idea to ask a leader who is 500 yards through the woods away for information on how doesnt always work out.
    It's boring, and your lack of creativity knows no bounds.
  • VarmintmistVarmintmist Senior Member Western PAPosts: 8,242 Senior Member
    Six-Gun wrote: »
    Doesn't a chamber pot count as "indoor plumbing?"

    no

    Hot and cold running water, a handle that makes poop go away.
    It's boring, and your lack of creativity knows no bounds.
  • Hondo341Hondo341 Member Sunny FloridaPosts: 448 Member
    They WILL go eventually! Just depends if they take your advice when the turtle is sniffin' cotton.
    "People are responsible to play a role in their own safety." Sheriff David Clarke 2016
  • 41magnut41magnut Senior Member The Giant Side Of TexasPosts: 1,305 Senior Member
    Way back when I worked on the farm I came home once or twice missing a shirt sleeve and once missing the bottom of my shirt, no sleeves on that one.

    One time I almost burned my ass sitting across a bale spike that had been in the sun a while.

    Usually I carried a roll of paper butt sometimes it was missing.
    That is just too funny. What's funnier is I've been there.

    Sent from my SM-T520 using Tapatalk
    "The .30-06 is never a mistake." Townsend Whelen :iwo:
  • 41magnut41magnut Senior Member The Giant Side Of TexasPosts: 1,305 Senior Member
    41magnut wrote: »
    That is just too funny. What's funnier is I've been there.

    Sent from my SM-T520 using Tapatalk
    What is the worst part,

    Bad knees mean the squat, w/o something to lean against, is more of a bend over. One has to be quite careful or missing a shirt tail will be the least of your worries.

    I call official!

    This topic has reached the "TMI" threshold.



    Sent from my SM-T520 using Tapatalk
    "The .30-06 is never a mistake." Townsend Whelen :iwo:
  • Six-GunSix-Gun Senior Member Eastern NebraskaPosts: 8,155 Senior Member
    Hey, as long as you can bend over far enough that you won't "fill the hammock," it's all good.
    Accuracy: because white space between bullet holes drives me insane.
  • jbp-ohiojbp-ohio Senior Member Pensacola, FLPosts: 10,836 Senior Member
    15578777_942254702542526_1955055499364899932_n.jpg?oh=64b99efaa045d13d16b254db7fbe0c79&oe=58EACBD8
    "The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not." Thomas Jefferson
  • jbp-ohiojbp-ohio Senior Member Pensacola, FLPosts: 10,836 Senior Member
    cpj wrote: »
    The wrong angle and the wrong food consumed could result in a new paint job for those rims.

    .......... and your shoes and/or pants.
    "The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not." Thomas Jefferson
  • VarmintmistVarmintmist Senior Member Western PAPosts: 8,242 Senior Member
    Six-Gun wrote: »
    Hey, as long as you can bend over far enough that you won't "fill the hammock," it's all good.
    A guy I used to hunt with had a brother that bought a full orange snowmobile suit for hunting.

    Well the groundhog started peekin and that suit no longer had a sewn on hood....
    It's boring, and your lack of creativity knows no bounds.
  • VarmintmistVarmintmist Senior Member Western PAPosts: 8,242 Senior Member
    cpj wrote: »
    A generation who can't **** in the woods without instructions is doomed.

    Naa. Its just that no one ever mentioned it to them and the idea isnt there. When the movement arrives, its good to understand that leaning back against a tree works, sitting over a log, copping a squat, or using a E-tool inverted for a one cheek seat are all workable.
    It's boring, and your lack of creativity knows no bounds.
  • breamfisherbreamfisher Senior Member Living in a van, down by the river.Posts: 14,039 Senior Member
    You know who spends time discussing movements?

    Old people.
    This place is becoming like a nursing home.
    I'm just here for snark.
  • RugerFanRugerFan Senior Member Eupora, MSPosts: 2,815 Senior Member
    Nah. Just wait until we start comparing aches, pains, surgery scars, and.doctor.visits.
  • breamfisherbreamfisher Senior Member Living in a van, down by the river.Posts: 14,039 Senior Member
    cpj wrote: »
    You checked your calendar recently, Spring Chicken?
    That I am not.

    But I don't spend time discussing bowel movements, complaining about new technology, and wondering how "kids these days" are trying to communicate. Some are shuffling off to old fartdom much faster than I.
    I'm just here for snark.
  • VarmintmistVarmintmist Senior Member Western PAPosts: 8,242 Senior Member
    That I am not.

    But I don't spend time discussing bowel movements
    Yet here you are on a thread that has taken on a life of its own... which was started with a observation, not a complaint.
    It's boring, and your lack of creativity knows no bounds.
  • VarmintmistVarmintmist Senior Member Western PAPosts: 8,242 Senior Member
    Hes just getting grumpy in his old age..


    GET OFF MY LAWN
    It's boring, and your lack of creativity knows no bounds.
  • Six-GunSix-Gun Senior Member Eastern NebraskaPosts: 8,155 Senior Member
    Hes just getting grumpy in his old age..


    GET OFF MY LAWN

    old.jpg
    Accuracy: because white space between bullet holes drives me insane.
  • TeachTeach Senior Member Dellrose TNPosts: 18,428 Senior Member
    Still looking at the top side of the grass has a lot of advantages, even if the aches, pains, and BM's sometimes become more of a topic for discussion than rating the eye candy walking by at the mall parking lot!
    Jerry
  • tennmiketennmike Senior Member Under a logPosts: 27,457 Senior Member
    My 'tree house' tree stands are big enough to accommodate the swivel seat to hunt from and a 5 gallon bucket with seat and small garbage bag. I take a roll of TP in my pack. And doing farm work from a tractor is interesting when nature calls. I've used the disc gang beam for a seat, the tongue of a wagon, the three point hitch drawbar(adjustable height for your comfort :tooth: ), and various and sundry other things dragged behind the tractor for a 'seat'. TP roll is in a zip lock bag in the toolbox. I refuse to use a log/downed tree for a seat; this place is haired over with copperheads and I don't want to get bit 'there' or 'there' either! A bent over sapling makes a handy seat in the woods if you don't wanna squat.
      I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer”
    ― Douglas Adams
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