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random thoughts.

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  • jbp-ohiojbp-ohio Senior Member Posts: 10,664 Senior Member
    15823148_1222206084528599_4481103765055104028_n.jpg?oh=b49cb3d9757f80c89cf22da57c4581a6&oe=58E2ABDF
    "The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not." Thomas Jefferson
  • jbp-ohiojbp-ohio Senior Member Posts: 10,664 Senior Member
    When I saw this tattoo, I thought he is going to regret that one in a few years when no one remembers that show.

    15747444_720585734763416_1741380823838841019_n.jpg?oh=244a47242de209b6c7e231d435b634ef&oe=58EDAB46

    Which then made me wonder if anyone got a tattoo of a show that would be even more regrettable.....................

    Sons-of-Guns-Canceled-After-Cast-Members-Molestation-Arrest.jpg
    "The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not." Thomas Jefferson
  • JeeperJeeper Senior Member Posts: 2,954 Senior Member
    NCFUBAR wrote: »
    If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?

    Super glue? :tooth:

    Luis
    Wielding the Hammer of Thor first requires you to lift and carry the Hammer of Thor. - Bigslug
  • shushshush Senior Member Posts: 6,259 Senior Member
    knitepoet wrote: »
    The ball dropped @ 2400:00 and the new year started at 0000:01





    Not quite that last year, it would seem.


    "Leap second 2016: Why this New Year's Eve will have an extra second."
    December 30, 2016 by Deborah Netburn, Los Angeles Times.

    http://phys.org/news/2016-12-year-eve-extra.html


    "As midnight approaches, the official atomic clocks that keep Universal Coordinated Time will mark the time as 23h 59m 59s, followed by the leap second 23h 59m 60s. Jan 1 will continue as usual, beginning with 0h 0m 0s."



    http://phys.org/news/2016-12-year-eve-extra.html

    "Leap second 2016: Why this New Year's Eve will have an extra second'
  • gatorgator Senior Member Posts: 1,746 Senior Member
    If you pull the wings off of a fly........is it now called a walk?

    Sent from my SM-T530NU using Tapatalk
    USMC 80-84
    -96 lbs
  • JerryBobCoJerryBobCo Senior Member Posts: 8,227 Senior Member
    I'm thinking of starting a micro-brewery. The beer I will be brewing will use pinto beans as an ingredient. I will call it "Barking Spider Brewery" and the sole product will be labeled "Barking Spider Beer". The brewery's slogan will be "If you don't get it, you will."
    Jerry

    Gun control laws make about as much sense as taking ex-lax to cure a cough.
  • bobbyrlf3bobbyrlf3 Senior Member Posts: 2,591 Senior Member
    They just opened up a new restaurant in my town. It will feature a combination of Mexican and Soul food. It's called "Nacho Mama's".

    My friend asked me yesterday, "What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping Tom?"

    I said, "Well, a pickpocket snatches watches,........"
    Knowledge is essential to living freely and fully; understanding gives knowledge purpose and strength; wisdom is combining the two and applying them appropriately in words and actions.
  • olesniperolesniper Senior Member Posts: 3,767 Senior Member
    cpj wrote: »
    If Nacho Mamas isn't a real place, it should be.

    There is...........it's in the strip mall.......right next to the hair salon........"Curl Up and Dye".
    Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
    I will fear no evil: For I carry a .308 and not a .270
  • zorbazorba Senior Member Posts: 24,985 Senior Member
    And the automotive outfit out front has a sign that says "You blow it, we tow it!"

    "You maul 'em, we haul 'em!"

    "You hit it, we git it!".
    -Zorba, "The Veiled Male"

    "If you get it and didn't work for it, someone else worked for it and didn't get it..."
    )O(
  • roadkingroadking Senior Member Posts: 3,056 Senior Member
    For Zorba's garage...
    "We don't charge an arm and a leg...we want tows"
    Support your local Scouts!
  • TeachTeach Senior Member Posts: 18,428 Senior Member
    A towing service in Nashville had this slogan- - - -"You call, we haul- - - -you-all!"

    NO BS!
    Jerry
  • zorbazorba Senior Member Posts: 24,985 Senior Member
    cpj wrote: »
    Local port O crapper company is owned by a guy with the last name Gott. His business name?
    Gotts to Go.

    "Sanitation provided by Shorty's ****ters."
    -Zorba, "The Veiled Male"

    "If you get it and didn't work for it, someone else worked for it and didn't get it..."
    )O(
  • TeachTeach Senior Member Posts: 18,428 Senior Member
    zorba wrote: »
    "Sanitation provided by Shorty's ****ters."

    Here's their service truck:

    10689Toilet_truck.jpg

    :jester:
    Jerry
  • JerryBobCoJerryBobCo Senior Member Posts: 8,227 Senior Member
    Back in my college days, we used to play with funny slogans for morgues. Here are some of the ones I remember.

    You kill 'em, we chill 'em.

    You slice 'em, we ice 'em.

    You stab 'em, we slab 'em.

    There were probably other ones, but that's all I can remember.

    I also recall seeing a septic tank cleanout truck that proudly claimed it was "Number one in the number 2 business."
    Jerry

    Gun control laws make about as much sense as taking ex-lax to cure a cough.
  • TeachTeach Senior Member Posts: 18,428 Senior Member
    "Yesterday's Meals On Wheels"

    "Caution- - - -stay 100 feet back- - - -Contains Political Promises"

    :jester:
    Jerry
  • roadkingroadking Senior Member Posts: 3,056 Senior Member
    I remember trash trucks in Florida with the message "This truck has bad breath...stay back".
    Support your local Scouts!
  • JerryBobCoJerryBobCo Senior Member Posts: 8,227 Senior Member
    Why do folks chop trees down only to then chop them up?
    Jerry

    Gun control laws make about as much sense as taking ex-lax to cure a cough.
  • tennmiketennmike Senior Member Posts: 27,457 Senior Member
    Many old expressions used by us older generation are like speaking Latin to the younger generation. I had an example of this yesterday afternoon. A friend and his son stopped by to talk a bit and the father said something happened to him at work that I considered kind of bad. So I said, "Well that sucks hind teat!". His son asked what that meant. So I had to explain cow anatomy, as in one udder divided into quarters and four teats. And that a calf following behind the cow sucking on one of the hind teats was in a tenuous position if the cow needed to take a poop. The light bulb went on over his head, figuratively, as he understood the expression. And this is a country raised boy; makes me a bit sad he didn't get that expression right off, and had to have it explained. Danged smartypants phones are dumbing down younger folk.

    Another one that is misstated on a regular basis is "A hard row to hoe." It is misstated as "a hard ROAD to hoe." Effin' idiots, you don't hoe a ROAD, you hoe a row! Jeez! Stupidity on parade! :roll2:
      I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer”
    ― Douglas Adams
  • 41magnut41magnut Senior Member Posts: 1,258 Senior Member
    jaywapti wrote: »
    I dont know but these people do

    Chamber of Commerce
    Muleshoe, Texas
    79347

    Phone # 806-272-4614

    JAY
    Another term --- Jenny Slipper.

    By the way, Muleshoe is right down the road. Nice place.

    Sent from my SM-T520 using Tapatalk
    "The .30-06 is never a mistake." Townsend Whelen :iwo:
  • TeachTeach Senior Member Posts: 18,428 Senior Member
    Mike, didja hear about the farmer who showed up at the local brothel trying to hire field hands? "I need somebody to chop cotton, and everybody says you've got the cheapest hoers in the county!"
    Jerry
  • earlyearly Senior Member Posts: 4,950 Senior Member
    A little snow goes along way on a Tuesday.

    Thing is, today ain't Tuesday.:p
    My thoughts are generally clear. My typing, not so much.
  • JerryBobCoJerryBobCo Senior Member Posts: 8,227 Senior Member
    I explained to my wife just yesterday the origin of the phrase "cold enough to freeze the balls off of a brass monkey."

    She had never heard the explanation.
    Jerry

    Gun control laws make about as much sense as taking ex-lax to cure a cough.
  • tennmiketennmike Senior Member Posts: 27,457 Senior Member
    Teach wrote: »
    Mike, didja hear about the farmer who showed up at the local brothel trying to hire field hands? "I need somebody to chop cotton, and everybody says you've got the cheapest hoers in the county!"
    Jerry

    :spittingcoffee: Hadn't heard that one! :roll2:
      I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer”
    ― Douglas Adams
  • roadkingroadking Senior Member Posts: 3,056 Senior Member
    What is the difference between a pick pocket and a peeping Tom?





    A pick pocket snatches watches...







    I'll go to my corner now... :punch:
    Support your local Scouts!
  • tennmiketennmike Senior Member Posts: 27,457 Senior Member
    Instead of dropping a ball, critters, or food on New Year's why don't we drop Congresscritters with over 20 years in office off tall buildings and time it for them to go splat at exactly one second after midnight? Term limit that WORKS! :up:
      I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer”
    ― Douglas Adams
  • TeachTeach Senior Member Posts: 18,428 Senior Member
    EWWWWWW!- - - - - -that would splatter worse than an old cow with a case of the scours!
    :vomit:
    Jerry
  • earlyearly Senior Member Posts: 4,950 Senior Member
    Started to slide into the ditch. Only thing saved me was I couldnt get in without a reservation.:driving:
    My thoughts are generally clear. My typing, not so much.
  • tennmiketennmike Senior Member Posts: 27,457 Senior Member
    early wrote: »
    Started to slide into the ditch. Only thing saved me was I couldnt get in without a reservation.:driving:

    So you're saying that you were a Johnny-come-lately and there was no room at the inn? :tooth:
      I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer”
    ― Douglas Adams
  • earlyearly Senior Member Posts: 4,950 Senior Member
    tennmike wrote: »
    So you're saying that you were a Johnny-come-lately and there was no room at the inn? :tooth:

    Gotta reserve a spot way ahead a time out this way.
    My thoughts are generally clear. My typing, not so much.
  • coolgunguycoolgunguy Senior Member Posts: 6,632 Senior Member
    early wrote: »
    Had a cat walk pedestrian overpass at the interstate highway. Co-worker had to go that way with with a load. Kids were swinging a big brick on a rope from the cat walk. Hit the truck and hooked up in the cab. Happened so fast it pulled the kids arm off. First cop at the scene gave the driver a ticket. Some nerve.

    Charged him with armed robbery.


    Similar situation here recently

    An elderly gentleman getting out of his car in a shopping center parking lot slipped and, as a falling person will, grabbed at the closest thing handy to break his fall.... which happened to be the radio antenna of a van parked nearby. Unfortunately, in doing so he snapped the antenna off, enraging the man sitting in the van who promptly beat and stabbed the old fellow with said aerial. Sadly, he passed away as a result of the attack.

    There was a lot of public outcry over the incident, especially considering that no charges were brought by the county DA. :angry:






    He said there was no way he could bring charges, because the duffer expired due to complications of van aerial disease:tooth:
    "Bipartisan" usually means that a bigger than normal deception is happening.
    George Carlin
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