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Fathers, mothers... I need to have a talk with my daughter. Serious topic.
Some of you know my wife and daughter have been living in Oregon while I have been in Miami the past 10 months waiting for the house to sell. My kid is 13 now and getting a little more independant. Things are different in Oregon, she has more time outside with friends, and more independance. A few days ago she was playing with friends in the neighborhood and decided to walk 1/2 a mile from the house to the middle school playground with one of the girls without telling anyone. My wife informed me that recently there was an abduction at knife point in the neighborhood. My wife was at work and daughter didn't tell her grandmother where she was going. When my wife found out she grounded her for two days and explained to her it wasn't acceptable to go that far from home without telling anyone, and it appears she understands, accepted the punishment and sounds remorseful. All good so far.
She is now about 5'7" tall and athletic and a lovely girl. She is also pretty naiive in the ways of the world. She wants to dress in skin tight clothes that are fashionable now, and I am concerned she is making herself a target. She really does not understand that preditors are opportunists and what could possibly happen to her if she were a target. I do not want to scare her, but she needs to know some realities about abduction, assault and rape.
She has refused to take any self defense classes in the past and she is a really strong kid. After six straight years of competative swimming. she is about as athletically trained as she could be.
She is coming to Miami for five weeks, and I think it is time to educate her better. I am open to suggestions that will inform her but not scare her.
Thanks in advance,
D
She is now about 5'7" tall and athletic and a lovely girl. She is also pretty naiive in the ways of the world. She wants to dress in skin tight clothes that are fashionable now, and I am concerned she is making herself a target. She really does not understand that preditors are opportunists and what could possibly happen to her if she were a target. I do not want to scare her, but she needs to know some realities about abduction, assault and rape.
She has refused to take any self defense classes in the past and she is a really strong kid. After six straight years of competative swimming. she is about as athletically trained as she could be.
She is coming to Miami for five weeks, and I think it is time to educate her better. I am open to suggestions that will inform her but not scare her.
Thanks in advance,
D
"A patriot is mocked, scorned and hated; yet when his cause succeeds, all men will join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot." Mark Twain
Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives.... now who's bringing the hot wings? :jester:
Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives.... now who's bringing the hot wings? :jester:
Replies
Have her watch one of the multitude of crime shows about real crimes on cable with you. Lot are about girls/children getting abducted and murdered because they decided to take a shortcut to the 7-11 or home from school or to a friends house.
Might help, but each child is different. You should talk with her without putting the fear of God into her, but firmly and tell her it's because you love her not that you are mad at her. No single right or wrong way to approach a teenager............
When I was stationed on Redstone Arsenal and living on post back about 1991 my youngest would sneak out and meet up with her skateboarding friends and go midnight skateboarding up and down Jordan Lane right out the gate ................not a good area of Huntsville then and still isn't.
Think back to when you were a teenager, scary ain't it. Even teenage girls do some crazy stuff and they can worry you half to death just like boys can.
Words of wisdom from Big Chief: Flush twice, it's a long way to the Mess Hall
I'd rather have my sister work in a whorehouse than own another Taurus!
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Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N910A using Tapatalk
No book or advice anyone gives you will right for you or your daughter. Just try to instill practical and common sense and make them aware of what lurks out there the best you can. Part of growing up and being a parent.
Words of wisdom from Big Chief: Flush twice, it's a long way to the Mess Hall
I'd rather have my sister work in a whorehouse than own another Taurus!
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-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, German writer and politician
My lesson to her: Be aware of your surroundings and if the person looks sketchy, run like hell. Distance is your friend; only fight if captured. Then fight as your life depends on it, because it does.
Adam J. McCleod
It seems to me that many women in general lack SA - my wife certainly does. But run like Hell is great advice, it saved me once upon a time.
Jerry
I wish there was a video for this.
D
Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives.... now who's bringing the hot wings? :jester:
Don't get me started!!! It's not my place on here to lecture you on child raising. Sufficeth to tell you about my experience. When they're 13 to say they aren't very knowledgeable in the ways of the world is a vast understatement. Think about this; the only way people get knowledgeable about worldly ways is living. At 13 they're not even started. They know absolutely nothing. To allow them to go out like that in this day and age is asking for big time problems, some of it coming from outside influences and some of it self inflicted. Things have changed since we were kids. The world isn't the safe playground it was in 1960 or even 1980.
I helped raise 5 kids. Every Sunday they got up, helped fix breakfast and wash dishes, and then bathed and got dressed for church. There were a few Sundays one or two of them got dragged to the car by the ear to go to church, but that's where they went. No excuses, no reasons not to go. It's what they did. This was partly my exes wish. But I'm glad we did it. All 5 came out on top. They were not spoiled and didn't get their way all the time. Like I told them, there's too many of y'all for everybody to get your way. They received loving discipline. None of that spare the rod crap in our house. We were old fashion and you know what? Old fashion works. The oldest one is a Teacher with a Masters degree. Not bad, the next one has his own boat and charter business and is very successful, because he knows hard work pays off. The next one is 11 years in the U.S. Army in the 82 Airborne with a rank of E-7. The next one down has a PH.D. From Ohio State, along with her hubby. That's where they met in the PH.D. Program. They're Micro Biologists and do Medical Research. They both worked for John's Hopkins in Baltimore for 9 years, now they're in Buffalo NY at some cancer hospital. The baby got her bachelors down here in Texas in Political Science and her Law degree from New England Law at Boston. She is currently practicing in Connecticut with some firm. She too met her husband in school and they are both lawyers. All this took work and self discipline. That's what right raising will get you. When my ex and me were raised our parents didn't pamper us or cater to our feelings. If we had a problem we just had to get over it. That's the way our kids were raised and I believe it help make them self reliant and confident. Whatever, all five are successful in what they do and have achieved higher goals than most kids nowadays. It ain't missile surgery. It's common sense.
Son that's somebody with nothing to do with his time but keep me in trouble with mom.
Go to Youtube and check out the channel for Active Self Protection. Spend some time browsing and earmarking videos you want to show your daughter. They are almost all security camera videos of attacks and self defense actions. Shows some kidnappings, lots of stranger attacks, and has some really scary and shocking videos. You will find one or two to show your daughter
-Mikhail Kalashnikov
Years ago, I watched my wife leave a SoCal shopping mall, in the dark, during the holidays, arms full of packages, stopping at the car door to dig in her purse for keys.
I nick-named her "victim in waiting".
Adam J. McCleod
The Dirty Dozen: 12 Nasty Fighting Techniques For Any Self-Defense Situation. It is 12 things you can do to an attacker to really hurt him.
Phrase: "You know I love you right? I'm trying to keep you safe. I'm not going to apologize for doing the best job I can to keep you safe."
Son that's somebody with nothing to do with his time but keep me in trouble with mom.
So, what I've learned is to employ my guile... If she asks me, I've found not only does she listen but she she actually learns! This leads to me taking the long way 'round on a lot of things that I would rather not, but the results are much more satisfactory for both of us.
George Carlin
Paul's right. The technical (!) term for that is, "Tune you out," or something similar. It may be that the "scared straight" approach is a bit too harsh at her young age, but you gotta get through to her somehow. IMO there's good advice already on this thread, though. Is her mother helping you out here?
Whatever else we may or may not be, we are two things first and foremost - we are spiritual beings, and we are sexual beings, and they're tied for first place in our psyches. We're hard-wired with an insatiable religious curiosity, simultaneously we are the only creature that is always in heat. Contemplate these realities for a moment, and decide if one of our two essential aspects might be effective in at least somewhat mitigating the other. Take it from there.
That's really deep....also W T actual F?
Well Dan, my first suggestion would be to scare her. The world has always had lions, tigers, and bears. Now it also has psychotic humans, drug addicts, and human traffickers. There's stuff out there that only an idiot wouldn't be afraid of, and fear ain't a bad thing.
You can spout happy platitudes like "yeah, but if you're afraid, the terrorists win". No. . .the terrorists win if they kill you, and they're more likely to do that if you live your life in condition white, fat, dumb, happy, and thinking everyone else in the world is as kind as your dad. Yes, your job is to be a fierce watchdog when she's six, but you can't extend that out to being a helicopter parent when you're 80 and she's 50. Time to have "the talk", starting with clearly explaining that if you seem like an ****, it's because she needs to understand what the TRUE a-holes of the world consist of.
"Nothing is safe from stupid." - Zee
right there. That is what she needs to hear.
You are one of them.