Monty Python is alive and well.

shushshush Senior MemberPosts: 6,260 Senior Member
Favorite quotes in here please.

 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.

(Takes parrot out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)

 Now that's what I call a dead parrot.



cjp wrote: »..... Oh dear God, I've admitted to liking something Limey.I'll never hear the end of this.

Jayhawker wrote: »...But seriously Shush....

Big Chief wrote: ».........walking around with a greasy butt ain't no fun, though!

 


 

Replies

  • Wambli SkaWambli Ska Moderator Posts: 27,815 Senior Member
    Thou shall count to three...

    King of the who?  The Britons.  Who are the Britons?

    It's just a flesh wound...
    "Attack rapidly, ruthlessly, viciously, without rest, however tired and hungry you may be, the enemy will be more tired, more hungry. Keep punching." General George S. Patton
  • tennmiketennmike Senior Member Posts: 23,920 Senior Member
    ..Oh, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you.
    I may be a Deplorable, but at least I'm not a Liberal!!!



  • Make_My_DayMake_My_Day Senior Member Posts: 6,733 Senior Member
    DON'T GIVE ME THAT, YOU SNOTTY-FACED HEAP OF PARROT DROPPINGS!!!!
    I HAVE HATED COMMUNISTS EVEN BEFORE THEY CHANGED
    THEIR NAME TO LIBERALS AND PROGRESSIVES
  • Make_My_DayMake_My_Day Senior Member Posts: 6,733 Senior Member
    DON'T GIVE ME THAT, YOU SNOTTY-FACED HEAP OF PARROT DROPPINGS!!!!
    I HAVE HATED COMMUNISTS EVEN BEFORE THEY CHANGED
    THEIR NAME TO LIBERALS AND PROGRESSIVES
  • LinefinderLinefinder Moderator Posts: 4,237 Senior Member
    Help..I'm being oppressed!
    Decisions have consequences, not everything in life gets an automatic mulligan.
    KSU Firefighter
  • CHIRO1989CHIRO1989 Senior Member Posts: 10,162 Senior Member
    Could you pick that up off the floor for me luv?
    I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that they turn away from their ways and live. Eze 33:11
  • cpjcpj Senior Member Posts: 38,843 Senior Member
    I fart in your general direction. 
    "I'm here for the guns, hunting, and skirt wearing men."
    Zee
  • bullsi1911bullsi1911 Moderator Posts: 9,445 Senior Member

    MR. WIGGIN: Good morning, gentlemen. Uh, this is a twelve-storey block combining classical neo-Georgian features with all the advantages of modern design. Uhh, the tenants arrive in the entrance hall here, are carried along the corridor on a conveyor belt in extreme comfort and past murals depicting Mediterranean scenes, towards the rotating knives. The last twenty feet of the corridor are heavily soundproofed. The blood pours down these chutes and the mangled flesh slurps into these large containers--

    Client 1: Excuse me.

    MR. WIGGIN: Hmm?

    CLient 1: Uh, did you say 'knives'?

    MR. WIGGIN: Uh, rotating knives. Yes.

    To make something simple is a thousand times more difficult than to make something complex.
    -Mikhail Kalashnikov
  • tennmiketennmike Senior Member Posts: 23,920 Senior Member

    Pontius Pilate: So, yaw fatha was a Woman? Who was he?

    Brian: He was a Centurion, in the Jerusalem Garrisons.

    Pontius Pilate: Weally? What was his name?

    Brian: 'Naughtius Maximus'.


    I may be a Deplorable, but at least I'm not a Liberal!!!



  • tennmiketennmike Senior Member Posts: 23,920 Senior Member
    Pontius Pilate: Stwike him, Centuwion. Stwike him vewy wuffly!


    Biggus Dickus: Let me come with you, Pontiuth. I may be of thome athithtanthe if there ith a thudden crithith!
    [I may be of some assistance if there is a sudden crisis]

    I may be a Deplorable, but at least I'm not a Liberal!!!



  • Fat BillyFat Billy Senior Member Posts: 1,813 Senior Member
    I clear my nose in your general direction! 
    Fat Billy

    Recoil is how you know primer ignition is complete.
  • shushshush Senior Member Posts: 6,260 Senior Member

    Ximinez: NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition!

     Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise....

    Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency....

    Our *three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope....

    Our *four*...no... *Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise.... I'll come in again.





    cjp wrote: »..... Oh dear God, I've admitted to liking something Limey.I'll never hear the end of this.

    Jayhawker wrote: »...But seriously Shush....

    Big Chief wrote: ».........walking around with a greasy butt ain't no fun, though!

     


     

  • North ForestNorth Forest Member Posts: 299 Member
    Its not dead, its pining for the fjords.
    My hovercraft is full of eels.
  • VarmintmistVarmintmist Senior Member Posts: 6,376 Senior Member
    Now write it a hundred times by sunrise, or I'll cut your balls off.
    It's boring, and your lack of creativity knows no bounds.
  • VarmintmistVarmintmist Senior Member Posts: 6,376 Senior Member
    And now its time for the penguin on top of your television to explode.
    "BOOM"
    Now ow'd e know that?
    E's the announcer.
    It's boring, and your lack of creativity knows no bounds.
  • BigslugBigslug Senior Member Posts: 6,760 Senior Member
    . . .and there was much rejoicing.  YAAAAAY!
    WWJMBD?

    "Nothing is safe from stupid." - Zee
  • BigslugBigslug Senior Member Posts: 6,760 Senior Member
    edited May 1 #18
    Atop Edinborough Castle, in extreme secrecy, men are being trained for British Army's first Kamikaze regiment; the Queen's Own Kamikaze Highlanders.  So successful has been the training of the Kamikaze regiment, that their numbers have dwindled from 30,000, to just over a dozen in three weeks.  What makes these young Scotsmen so keen to kill themselves?

    The money's good!

    And the waterskiiing!
    WWJMBD?

    "Nothing is safe from stupid." - Zee
  • olesniperolesniper Senior Member Posts: 3,668 Senior Member
    Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
    I will fear no evil: For I carry a .308 and not a .270
  • Wambli SkaWambli Ska Moderator Posts: 27,815 Senior Member
    She's young, she's beautiful, she's got HUUUUUUGE tracts of land...
    "Attack rapidly, ruthlessly, viciously, without rest, however tired and hungry you may be, the enemy will be more tired, more hungry. Keep punching." General George S. Patton
  • Wambli SkaWambli Ska Moderator Posts: 27,815 Senior Member
    Let us, like Him, hold up one shoe and let the other be upon our foot, for this is His sign, that all who follow Him shall do likewise.
    "Attack rapidly, ruthlessly, viciously, without rest, however tired and hungry you may be, the enemy will be more tired, more hungry. Keep punching." General George S. Patton
  • bullsi1911bullsi1911 Moderator Posts: 9,445 Senior Member
    “I think it was 'Blessed are the cheesemakers.”
    ”what’s so special about cheesemakers?”
    To make something simple is a thousand times more difficult than to make something complex.
    -Mikhail Kalashnikov
  • tennmiketennmike Senior Member Posts: 23,920 Senior Member
    "And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it."
    I may be a Deplorable, but at least I'm not a Liberal!!!



  • roadkingroadking Senior Member Posts: 3,056 Senior Member
    We are the knights who say "NI"! Now bring us a shrubbery!
    Support your local Scouts!
  • coolgunguycoolgunguy Senior Member Posts: 6,034 Senior Member
    "Alright, but apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh-water system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?”
    "Bipartisan" usually means that a bigger than normal deception is happening.
    George Carlin
  • JerryBobCoJerryBobCo Senior Member Posts: 6,227 Senior Member
    You tiny brained wiper of other people's bottoms.
    Jerry

    Gun control laws make about as much sense as taking ex-lax to cure a cough.
  • bellcatbellcat Senior Member Posts: 1,350 Senior Member
    And now for something completely different: a man with 3 buttocks.
    "Kindness is the language the deaf can hear and the blind can see." Mark Twain
  • ojrojr Senior Member Posts: 758 Senior Member
    Is this the right room for an argument.
    Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
  • tennmiketennmike Senior Member Posts: 23,920 Senior Member
    Suicide Squad Leader: We are the Judean People's Front crack suicide squad! Suicide squad, attack!

    [they all stab themselves]

    Suicide Squad Leader: That showed 'em, huh?

    And who can forget this uplifting song at the end of the movie?





    I may be a Deplorable, but at least I'm not a Liberal!!!



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