Tinder....Etc. America Really Is Doomed.

Ken_S_LaTrans

Shot IDPA last night.  My best friend and former beat partner is single (divorced) shoots with me at least once a week.  He's 40, not a bad looking guy.  In shape.  Good job.  Could get more ass than a bicycle seat going the traditional dating route.  But for some reason, he loves those hookup apps and between stages, he was on his phone looking at Tinder.  He kept showing me these women.  All I could think was that it was like a pizza delivery site for tramps.

Until I saw a couple of their profiles I had never heard of, or read of the term "ethical non-monogamy".  So, are they inventing kinder, gentler terms now for being an unfaithful tramp?

Then, some of them were in their early 20s with four, five, and even six kids...seriously?

Personally, I don't get it.  Mainly because I am married and actually really dig my wife.

Is it just that I am getting old and out of touch with a new reality, or is the planet doomed?

Ken_S_LaTrans

Note:  This is not a rant, I am seriously asking because I truly don't understand the attraction to the whole online dating thing.

zorba

I don't get it either. I've been married to my wife 34 years this Saturday, and love her to pieces! I'm around attractive women all the time, but am NOT "interested" - I'm all "into" my wife.

Now perhaps what is meant by "Ethical non-monogamy" is that they're in what used to be called an "open marriage". If that's the agreement they have with their spouse, I have no problem with it. However, that is NOT the agreement my wife and I have, we're traditionally monogamous.

Make_My_Day

Damn, that would have been handy in the early 80's....

Diver43

Look up Polyamory     Don't feel bad, I had to look it up also when someone was talking about it.

Spk

Yep. At least that's the claim.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyamory

tennmike

Sign of the times, IMHO. The explosion of smartphones and all those apps for communicating have produced a couple of generations enamored with instant gratification, and the attention span of fruit flies, and morals that would embarrass an alley cat!

Ken_S_LaTrans

tennmike said:

Sign of the times, IMHO. The explosion of smartphones and all those apps for communicating have produced a couple of generations enamored with instant gratification, and the attention span of fruit flies, and morals that would embarrass an alley cat!

I just struck me last night.  I mean, I am 50 and have been married to my wife for 16 years.  My first wife passed away when my sons were really young, so I was a single dad from 92 until 2002.  In the interim, I dated...mostly other cops, or women who were associated with the job (DAs, etc).  It was our dating pool back then.  The internet wasn't a thing yet.  I am glad my wife is 10 years younger than I am, so chances are I won't be single again and won't ever have to worry about it.

earlyagain

My ex-wife left ten or so years ago. I have sence devoted all my time and resources to my son who was just three at that time and I have no interest in seeking trouble, drama and tribulation on line. Being a Dad is a full time job.

Fisheadgib

Before I met Debbie, I had gone through a crappy divorce and went about three years without dating much and kept seeing adds for a dating website that focused on people over 50 and offering a free trial. I thought it would be harmless and interesting so I gave it a try. Boy was that a huge mistake! The commercials for all of those sites give the illusion of being filled with successful, attractive women "looking for that special someone" when in reality they are filled with middle aged divorcees that had let themselves go and are looking for someone to support them. I never saw so many overweight, unattractive women who worked in retail or the food industry, and hobbies included fine dining and world travel. Most of their pictures looked like they were in a trailer park. After a couple of weeks of getting hounded by people, I deleted the account! 

Ken_S_LaTrans

earlyagain said:

My ex-wife left ten or so years ago. I have sence devoted all my time and resources to my son who was just three at that time and I have no interest in seeking trouble, drama and tribulation on line. Being a Dad is a full time job.

My wife was in her last year of medical school when we met.  She was actually working in the ER when we met.  She didn't have kids of her own and there was no "baby daddy drama".  I had my sons, and I give her so much credit...she came on and raised them like they were her own.  She is mom.  You'll never hear "stepmom" in our house. 

My oldest son is just shy of 30 now, and my youngest son is 26.  They were both little guys when their mom passed.  I was a single dad for 10 years, so I can definitely empathize.

Funny story...My oldest came home from college one weekend and he had 5, count em FIVE huge bags of laundry in the back of his truck.  He came in, toting all those bags, and my wife and I were in the breakfast nook drinking coffee and she said "What'cha got there Matty?"

"I thought you could do my laundry mom".

Without missing a beat my wife said "You know I'm not your real mom right?"

I damned near spewed coffee all over the kitchen.

earlyagain

Five bags is a big load alright. I don't think Id trust my son to run the machine.

Its great that it worked out for everyone. My ex had two already before we met. I really enjoy taking my boy to see his sister and her little ones. We had fun times when she was little too.

Ken_S_LaTrans

Our daughter just turned 15...and she gives her brothers the blues.  Both boys followed me into LE, and so they are both definitely alpha types, but she doesn't care.  She will give them both hell at the drop of a hat.  But..she is their baby sister and they are even more protective of her than I am.

bellcat

When youngsters haven’t developed social skills, they don’t meet possible mates at church, few public dances (and nobody knows how to dance) , and they watch all trash on TV, that’s their route. It’s easy and inexpensive. When I got divorced, I suddenly got friend requests on FB from girls I hardly knew. I thought they were interested in my hunting and fishing stories. Wow! Not so much! When I started dating current GF, all all social media attention stopped. How interesting?

Ken_S_LaTrans

bellcat said:

When youngsters haven’t developed social skills, they don’t meet possible mates at church, few public dances (and nobody knows how to dance) , and they watch all trash on TV, that’s their route. It’s easy and inexpensive. When I got divorced, I suddenly got friend requests on FB from girls I hardly knew. I thought they were interested in my hunting and fishing stories. Wow! Not so much! When I started dating current GF, all all social media attention stopped. How interesting?

When another friend whom I worked with got divorced a similar thing happened.  Alleged friends of his ex wife were coming out of the woodwork trying to cozy up with him too.  Divorced soccer moms looking for the good city benefits from the department, etc...He harvested a lot of soccer mom pelt, but didn't lock down with any of them.  Eventually, he married a woman who works in the same medical group as my wife.  No kids, no ex hubby, no BS.

Old Ron

I am a happy single guy . Last dating I did she had a phone addiction. Our long term relationship lasted a few weeks. She spent way to much time tapping away on that thing. I finally told her that she needed to work on her people skills & have a good life. She did a lot of texting to me for a while then I had the text thing taken off my phone. Call & talk or show up & talk is the only way to go. They can have all the BS & drama they want just don't get me in that world. I find my hobby s keep me busy enough .

Ken_S_LaTrans

Old Ron said:

I am a happy single guy . Last dating I did she had a phone addiction. Our long term relationship lasted a few weeks. She spent way to much time tapping away on that thing. I finally told her that she needed to work on her people skills & have a good life. She did a lot of texting to me for a while then I had the text thing taken off my phone. Call & talk or show up & talk is the only way to go. They can have all the BS & drama they want just don't get me in that world. I find my hobby s keep me busy enough .

I don't understand the addiction to the text thing.  If I get a text from my wife it is something like "milk"...never conversations.  I took my wife to dinner last night, and I noticed several couples sitting at tables not talking...but both had their faces buried in their cell phones.  I don't have facetwit, intrawhine, or any of those things.  We have a strict NO TEXT rule at our dinner table and the only exception to that is my wife's work phone.  She's a surgeon, so if she's on call they need to be able to reach her. 

We live about five miles from the middle of nowhere and cell service is spotty at our house without wifi...so...if my daughter falls behind on her chores then she will find a note on the fridge SEE DAD FOR WIFI PASSWORD and she knows she better have the chores she's behind on done before she asks me.

What I think is even funnier are all these tactical doods who are all dressed in 5.11 gear at WalMart screaming about situational awareness and being switched on....who have their faces buried in their phones tweeting about how they are the sheepdog at WalMart.

Phone addicts are the new zombies.

Zee

:irony:

breamfisher

Yeah, that.

zorba

Uh yea. Don't get me started on face***k, TWITter, or overpriced smartfones!

Zee

:perpetuated:

breamfisher

Forget a humor transplant.  I think some of y'all need Depends.

Jermanator

Get off my lawn!

I used to think that online dating sites/apps were a bad thing, but then I realized that a large portion of my friends are people that I met online. It seems alright for friendships, so I can't see why it would be bad for other relationships. I can't imagine it could be any worse than some of the night clubs (meat markets) that I went to in my younger, single days.

Antonio

Couple of relatively young divorced friends use that app for finding their local "catch"; according to them, pretty much the same sentimental attachment of pumping gas to your car, but MIGHT result in a more "constructed" relationship of the "friends with benefits" type....no more.

jbp-ohio

I think it is a great idea. If you see a woman out in public, you don't know if she is available/looking. Everyone on the site is looking.

tennmike

With all the feminists and other fruitcake women, AND men, out there now, the online dating thing may be the safest way for young folk to connect with someone with similar interests. You DON'T EVEN want to try starting up a conversation with a flaming sandpapered butt feminist! I made that mistake at the last retirees get together. They're like vegans, you don't have to ask them; they'll tell you in no uncertain terms!

Fisheadgib

Jerm's got a good point, this forum has generated quite a few friendships away from the forum pretty well all over the world. Many of the folks that attend the SE shoot continue to interact with each other during the rest of the year and I can think of two members here that have come to the US from foreign countries and met with people from the forum. Mike has a good point also about people on dating sites clearly looking for a relationship. My issue was the extremely disproportionate ratio of frogs to princesses.

jbp-ohio

Definitely have to separate the wheat from the chaff........ Using a burner cell is also a good idea. Don't want to have to change your real #............. 

JerryBobCo

All of the meaningful relationships I've had were with women/girls I met at school, work or through mutual friends.  I met my wife at a high school dance.  If you telecommute, like I do now, or keep your head buried in your iPhone, ipad  computer or whatever, your options are limited.

I personally know at least two couples who have met their significant others via some sort of online services.  Both have been happily married for a good while.

Ken_S_LaTrans

I guess I can see all the different points (especially about the vegans and guano loco chicks).  It's just so far out of my wheelhouse to even think of online dating.  I don't maintain a Facebook or any other social media except for a Police Only forum, an aviation forum, this one, and a ALSET forum.

Interesting. 

centermass556

Bro, You didn't say you were gonna post that on the forum. Last time I share with you....And I'm not going to the next match