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Jerm's Bum Wine 2018 has been Released

JermanatorJermanator Senior MemberPosts: 16,128 Senior Member
edited January 2019 in Clubhouse #1

Reason obeys itself; and ignorance submits to whatever is dictated to it.
-Thomas Paine
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Replies

  • minnesotashooterminnesotashooter Senior Member Posts: 770 Senior Member
  • JermanatorJermanator Senior Member Posts: 16,128 Senior Member
    edited January 2019 #3
    I wasn't going to start a thread until tomorrow when some of the packages started showing up, but with the subzero weather in the Midwest, I want everyone to have a heads up on their package arrival. Some of you know who you are, some do not.

    Arriving on Tuesday, 1/29:
    Illinois, Minnesota, Wisconsin, North Carolina, Virginia, Tennessee.

    Arriving on Wednesday, 1/30:
    Georgia, Florida, Kansas, Oklahoma, Alabama, Missouri, Austin TX.

    Arriving on Thursday, 1/31:
    Texas, New Mexico, Idaho.
    Reason obeys itself; and ignorance submits to whatever is dictated to it.
    -Thomas Paine
  • JermanatorJermanator Senior Member Posts: 16,128 Senior Member
    edited January 2019 #4
    If you would like some of my Bum, please send me an IM. I will need your real name, and an address that will accept UPS deliveries (no PO boxes). It is against the law to charge for homemade wine so I am not taking payments at all. Not even for shipping. And no, I will not accept "donations" either. Just make sure you are 21 years old. If you do not drink or are under 21 years old, I have extra labels I can send you in the mail. 
    Reason obeys itself; and ignorance submits to whatever is dictated to it.
    -Thomas Paine
  • JermanatorJermanator Senior Member Posts: 16,128 Senior Member
    edited January 2019 #5
    Special thanks to Zee as creative director and photo editor, Cpj for not only sharing his masculine sexuality, but for his creativity in thinking up the poses every year, photography, and phrasing with the wine "descriptions". I also want to thank Jbohio for his input on the writing. We have a blast every year making up these labels!

    I also want to thank Jeffsgk for all of the help packaging and shipping.
    Reason obeys itself; and ignorance submits to whatever is dictated to it.
    -Thomas Paine
  • AccipiterAccipiter New Member Posts: 885 Senior Member
    Cool!
    Apparently free thought is punished, and conformity is required, while peckerless cowards run the show.

    ECHO...ECHO....echo...

    Ah......One savors the hypocrisy!

    Karma.........It’s a bitch.
  • JermanatorJermanator Senior Member Posts: 16,128 Senior Member
    edited January 2019 #7
    I will have to get into the hard drive of my old computer to get you the 2015 and the original 2014 Jerm's Bum Wine label. My first batch was made in 2013 and was bottled in quart jars. We started doing a label in 2014 which was my head Photoshopped onto a stock photo of a guy holding a sign. On that sign, I typed in "Jerm's Bum Wine 2014". Olesniper did the editing for me.

    Every year since, the previous label has always been in the current photo. We got that whole continuity thing happening-- one of many hidden jokes in the labels.
    Reason obeys itself; and ignorance submits to whatever is dictated to it.
    -Thomas Paine
  • earlyagainearlyagain Posts: 6,749 Senior Member
    You got your best wine glasses ready???


  • JermanatorJermanator Senior Member Posts: 16,128 Senior Member
    Glass? Look at Mr. Fancy Pants! I thought I was being a snob by not drinking from the bottle.
    Reason obeys itself; and ignorance submits to whatever is dictated to it.
    -Thomas Paine
  • JermanatorJermanator Senior Member Posts: 16,128 Senior Member
    edited January 2019 #10
    By popular demand, I also remade Bum 2016 (mulberry flavor). I think I got it pretty close, but the real judgement day is Wednesday when it gets sampled by the Bum 16' Fanboy himself. 
    Reason obeys itself; and ignorance submits to whatever is dictated to it.
    -Thomas Paine
  • earlyagainearlyagain Posts: 6,749 Senior Member
    No teeth marks???
  • JermanatorJermanator Senior Member Posts: 16,128 Senior Member
    edited January 2019 #12
    I made this for many reasons. One is that I am borderline diabetic and have to watch my carb intake. Two-- I like apple wine. Three-- I love apple brandy. When I open the distillery, I plan to make apple brandy. Being in Michigan, apples are very Michigany and the product should be a good seller if done right. Brandy is distilled wine. Most people like their wine with some sweetness. Bum wines as a style are very sweet. As a distiller, sugar gets converted to alcohol by the yeast and the last thing you want to do is leave any unfermented sugars-- you are pouring your unfermented sugars (potential alcohol=$$$) down the drain, so the idea is to start with a wine that has no residual sugar left.

    Putin's Cider gets me an extremely low carb/diabetic friendly wine that is super dry (think tart apples) and serves my purposes as a future distiller. Why Putin's Cider? What is up with the name? I will let Cpj tell the joke, but the punchline is "put it in cider"... so what is going on is a joke about a joke, with other jokes tucked in. If you are offended about this label, I suggest you get a sense of humor, and if you can't do that, start a thread in 2A. It isn't happening here. Anyway...


    The photo was shamelessly stolen from the Internet.
    Reason obeys itself; and ignorance submits to whatever is dictated to it.
    -Thomas Paine
  • NNNN Senior Member Posts: 24,713 Senior Member
    Fun thread
    Shut up-----KAREN; OK Cynthia
  • earlyagainearlyagain Posts: 6,749 Senior Member
    Im surprised that special portrait hasn't been on CNN.
  • JermanatorJermanator Senior Member Posts: 16,128 Senior Member
    edited January 2019 #15
    Putin's Cider 2017. This batch did have just a hair of residual sugar left. I thought it was all gone, so I didn't filter it and the stuff I bottled ended out with some carbonation...
    This photo was shamelessly stolen from the Internet.

    Reason obeys itself; and ignorance submits to whatever is dictated to it.
    -Thomas Paine
  • FFLshooterFFLshooter Member Posts: 1,057 Senior Member
    How do you determine the alcohol content?
  • NNNN Senior Member Posts: 24,713 Senior Member
    hydrometer
    Shut up-----KAREN; OK Cynthia
  • JermanatorJermanator Senior Member Posts: 16,128 Senior Member
    How do you determine the alcohol content?
    Like Ned said... with a hydrometer. It measures the density of the liquid. Compared to water, water with sugar (essentially apple/grape/blueberry/mulberry juice) is denser. Alcohol is thinner than water. So before I add the yeast to the juice, I take a measurement. After the yeast do their job, I take a measurement. What I wind up with is a determination of alcohol content-- the scales on the beer/wine hydrometer show me what alcohol has been produced.
    Reason obeys itself; and ignorance submits to whatever is dictated to it.
    -Thomas Paine
  • FFLshooterFFLshooter Member Posts: 1,057 Senior Member
    Ya learn something new everyday. Pretty cool.
  • ZeeZee Senior Member Posts: 23,988 Senior Member
    By popular demand, I also remade Bum 2016 (mulberry flavor). I think I got it pretty close, but the real judgement day is Wednesday when it gets sampled by the Bum 16' Fanboy himself. 
    Woohoo!!!

    I await retro!!!
    "To Hell with efficiency, it's performance we want!" - Elmer Keith
  • JermanatorJermanator Senior Member Posts: 16,128 Senior Member
    edited January 2019 #21
    To get the alcohol content that high in a wine, I have to add some nutrients plus use strains of yeast that can live in that environment-- many can't handle it past 12%. The one I use for Bum Wine can go up to 20%. The strain I use for Putin's Cider is standard distiller's yeast and can do 12% easily, but can go to 16% if you nurture it carefully.
    Reason obeys itself; and ignorance submits to whatever is dictated to it.
    -Thomas Paine
  • ZeeZee Senior Member Posts: 23,988 Senior Member
    Special thanks to Zee as creative director and photo editor, Cpj for not only sharing his masculine sexuality, but for his creativity in thinking up the poses every year, photography, and phrasing with the wine "descriptions". I also want to thank Jbohio for his input on the writing. We have a blast every year making up these labels!

    I also want to thank Jeffsgk for all of the help packaging and shipping.
    It is always fun during the photo shoot. 

    “No, you need vomit in the floor!”

    “No, spread more grease on your body!”

    ”No, lay your head on the bathroom floor closer to the urinal!”

    I enjoy doing that to CPJ. Makes my day. 
    "To Hell with efficiency, it's performance we want!" - Elmer Keith
  • JermanatorJermanator Senior Member Posts: 16,128 Senior Member
    edited January 2019 #23
    This was during the heavy fermentation stage back in October.




    Reason obeys itself; and ignorance submits to whatever is dictated to it.
    -Thomas Paine
  • JermanatorJermanator Senior Member Posts: 16,128 Senior Member
    edited January 2019 #24
    Friday at the UPS Store...
    The next shipment will go out Thursday or Friday. I got Bum going to Michigan, Kentucky, Minnesota, Mississippi, California, and Pennsylvania so far on the next one. Send me your IM's and my wine shippers fit 2 bottles... You will get a bottle of Bum 2018 and have a choice of Retro Bum, Bum 2017, or Putin for the other. Let me know. Don't be shy-- I have been a member here for 17 years. Many, many members here have met me in person and can vouch for me. Your real name and address goes in my Bum shipping database and nothing more. If you don't feel cool with that, I completely understand.
    Reason obeys itself; and ignorance submits to whatever is dictated to it.
    -Thomas Paine
  • CHIRO1989CHIRO1989 Senior Member Posts: 12,625 Senior Member
    We have some decent snow, I have an idea to unseat the spokesmodel, apparently last years submission was too middle of the road.






    I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that they turn away from their ways and live. Eze 33:11
  • JermanatorJermanator Senior Member Posts: 16,128 Senior Member
    I am debating the 2019 flavor. The theme is the Bum Wine Guy (portrayed by CPJ-- a model that knows how to push the limits for the brand, yet keep it sexy so we can draw a customer base solely on animal attraction) portraying the theme of the year's flavor. White? He was daring enough to do the first topless Bum Wine label portraying white trash. Blueberry? Barry is a happy man!

    I am thinking pink. What can he do with a pink flavor? And should it be strawberry or watermelon?
    Reason obeys itself; and ignorance submits to whatever is dictated to it.
    -Thomas Paine
  • CHIRO1989CHIRO1989 Senior Member Posts: 12,625 Senior Member
    edited January 2019 #27
    Both flavors please, and mixed together. He might be sexy to some, but where I come from, a spokemodel in an orange shirt, with a pasty, and an adult beverage in hand that comes in it's own glass is dinner AND a show to the hot Northern gals.
    I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that they turn away from their ways and live. Eze 33:11
  • JermanatorJermanator Senior Member Posts: 16,128 Senior Member
    The whole sexy thing... I am not seeing it.
    Reason obeys itself; and ignorance submits to whatever is dictated to it.
    -Thomas Paine
  • CHIRO1989CHIRO1989 Senior Member Posts: 12,625 Senior Member
    I will see what I can do....
    I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that they turn away from their ways and live. Eze 33:11
  • JermanatorJermanator Senior Member Posts: 16,128 Senior Member
    Chris... my sister got her Bum Wine today. She wanted me to tell you, "hey".


    Reason obeys itself; and ignorance submits to whatever is dictated to it.
    -Thomas Paine
  • Diver43Diver43 Senior Member Posts: 10,914 Senior Member
    Bum Wine was one of the bottles that we shared with friends over the Holidays.

    I knew you guys had fun creating, but didn't realize how much.  Good stuff
    Logistics cannot win a war, but its absence or inadequacy can cause defeat. FM100-5
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