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Jerm's Bum Wine 2018 has been Released

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  • das68das68 Posts: 662 Senior Member
    bisley said:

    Jerm, I commend you for your craftsmanship in the wine-making and bottling, and also for your sense of humor - everybody was belly-laughing after studying the labels. They asked me where the heck you found the model for the label. I told them you rented him at a skid-row joint, down by the waterfront, for a bottle of MD 20/20 and two packs of unfiltered Camels. They believed me.
     :D  :D:D

  • KMT2KMT2 Member Posts: 360 Member
    Putin's Cider 2017. This batch did have just a hair of residual sugar left. I thought it was all gone, so I didn't filter it and the stuff I bottled ended out with some carbonation...
    This photo was shamelessly stolen from the Internet.

    That was a good year, I went to get it out of the truck and the darn thing hit the ground and flowed all over the grass.  It was good at the tasting and well the grass grew really well. 
    If you think OHSA is a little town in Wisconsin you may be in trouble!
    Peace is firing my guns or 60 feet below the surface of the water.
  • JermanatorJermanator Senior Member Posts: 16,128 Senior Member
    bisley said:
    Today, my two daughters and their husbands were over for Sunday dinner, and I broke out the 'white,' while we were all sitting around the bar telling tall tales. It was a big hit - the women loved it and the men liked it, too. I liked it, because it was 'clean' tasting, with no extra unknown tastes and smells that I always wonder where they came from. It has kick to it, but still tastes like grapes, no aftertaste - clean, or maybe pure, is the best adjective I can think of, being a non-wine drinker. I would definitely buy it, if it was available, here.
    Bisley... if Mrs. Bisley and your guests enjoy the White Flavor, it is an honest, solid example of white wine using Niagara grapes. They will probably enjoy most Niagara grape wines. It is the same variety Welch's uses for their white grape juice and the cheapest white grape juice available I could find from the wine making supplier when I was making it (others were coming online soon because it was harvest season). It is very affordable. Commercial brands should run between $5-$10/bottle. 

    Reason obeys itself; and ignorance submits to whatever is dictated to it.
    -Thomas Paine
  • JermanatorJermanator Senior Member Posts: 16,128 Senior Member
    If you want to look into the Niagara style some more...


    Reason obeys itself; and ignorance submits to whatever is dictated to it.
    -Thomas Paine
  • snake284snake284 Senior Member Posts: 22,394 Senior Member
    edited February 2019 #156
    And if any of you think this is actually GOOD wine... Ha! That is nothing more than dumb luck. I am not a wine maker. My ultimate inspiration for this is Alec and the wonderful port wine that his ancestors made. I had some apple juice the kids left out of the fridge that was going bad and some grapes that were getting ready to spoil, so as a demonstration project for the kids, me being a cheap ass, and a smart ass-- making something American style (bum wine is very much American) that is not aged, and made by some goober, I wanted something to give to Alec for giggles.

    Bum wine is not supposed to taste good. It is supposed to get you buzzed for cheap. It is sweet, and has the "flavored" part on the label because it usually has artificial flavors (mine doesn't have artificial flavors but is made intentionally sweet). If my bum wine does not get you buzzed, I will refund 100% of what you paid for it (nothing). That is my guarantee!  

    If you want to further research bum wine as a style, this site is full of useful information.




    I don't know how cold it gets down there in Backasswards, upside down  NZ  but that Bum Wine is what I would call warming wine. It will warm you from the inside out. I think Alec will approve.
    And if any of you think this is actually GOOD wine... Ha! That is nothing more than dumb luck. I am not a wine maker. My ultimate inspiration for this is Alec and the wonderful port wine that his ancestors made. I had some apple juice the kids left out of the fridge that was going bad and some grapes that were getting ready to spoil, so as a demonstration project for the kids, me being a cheap ass, and a smart ass-- making something American style (bum wine is very much American) that is not aged, and made by some goober, I wanted something to give to Alec for giggles.

    Bum wine is not supposed to taste good. It is supposed to get you buzzed for cheap. It is sweet, and has the "flavored" part on the label because it usually has artificial flavors (mine doesn't have artificial flavors but is made intentionally sweet). If my bum wine does not get you buzzed, I will refund 100% of what you paid for it (nothing). That is my guarantee!  

    If you want to further research bum wine as a style, this site is full of useful information.





    Daddy, what's an enabler?
    Son that's somebody with nothing to do with his time but keep me in trouble with mom.
  • olesniperolesniper Senior Member Posts: 3,763 Senior Member
    The brown truck took a dump on my front stoop, this morning. A jar of "tip dip" and this.



    Thanks, bro. I'll put them to good use. 
    Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
    I will fear no evil: For I carry a .308 and not a .270
  • JermanatorJermanator Senior Member Posts: 16,128 Senior Member
    .Dude... that should have been there last week!

    Buford has Bum now.

    Reason obeys itself; and ignorance submits to whatever is dictated to it.
    -Thomas Paine
  • snake284snake284 Senior Member Posts: 22,394 Senior Member
    Jerm I used to make a high alcohol wine with Sherry Yeast. I never knew it was bum wine. WOW! I love it! Who needs Cabernet Sovignon?
    ?
    Daddy, what's an enabler?
    Son that's somebody with nothing to do with his time but keep me in trouble with mom.
  • BufordBuford Senior Member Posts: 6,713 Senior Member
    Got it. I'll give it a go this weekend.
    Thank you.
    Just look at the flowers Lizzie, just look at the flowers.
  • olesniperolesniper Senior Member Posts: 3,763 Senior Member
    .Dude... that should have been there last week!

    Buford has Bum now.

    Wish I'd known that, LOL. I never go out my front door and all packages are supposed to be left at the side door. It sat outside from Wednesday to Monday. 
    Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
    I will fear no evil: For I carry a .308 and not a .270
  • coolgunguycoolgunguy Senior Member Posts: 6,610 Senior Member
    snake284 said:
    And if any of you think this is actually GOOD wine... Ha! That is nothing more than dumb luck. I am not a wine maker. My ultimate inspiration for this is Alec and the wonderful port wine that his ancestors made. I had some apple juice the kids left out of the fridge that was going bad and some grapes that were getting ready to spoil, so as a demonstration project for the kids, me being a cheap ass, and a smart ass-- making something American style (bum wine is very much American) that is not aged, and made by some goober, I wanted something to give to Alec for giggles.

    Bum wine is not supposed to taste good. It is supposed to get you buzzed for cheap. It is sweet, and has the "flavored" part on the label because it usually has artificial flavors (mine doesn't have artificial flavors but is made intentionally sweet). If my bum wine does not get you buzzed, I will refund 100% of what you paid for it (nothing). That is my guarantee!  

    If you want to further research bum wine as a style, this site is full of useful information.




    I don't know how cold it gets down there in Backasswards, upside down  NZ  but that Bum Wine is what I would call warming wine. It will warm you from the inside out. I think Alec will approve.
    And if any of you think this is actually GOOD wine... Ha! That is nothing more than dumb luck. I am not a wine maker. My ultimate inspiration for this is Alec and the wonderful port wine that his ancestors made. I had some apple juice the kids left out of the fridge that was going bad and some grapes that were getting ready to spoil, so as a demonstration project for the kids, me being a cheap ass, and a smart ass-- making something American style (bum wine is very much American) that is not aged, and made by some goober, I wanted something to give to Alec for giggles.

    Bum wine is not supposed to taste good. It is supposed to get you buzzed for cheap. It is sweet, and has the "flavored" part on the label because it usually has artificial flavors (mine doesn't have artificial flavors but is made intentionally sweet). If my bum wine does not get you buzzed, I will refund 100% of what you paid for it (nothing). That is my guarantee!  

    If you want to further research bum wine as a style, this site is full of useful information.




    Jerm, reading the pages on that site is almost as entertaining as your labels!🤣
    "Bipartisan" usually means that a bigger than normal deception is happening.
    George Carlin
  • coolgunguycoolgunguy Senior Member Posts: 6,610 Senior Member
    Okay, so... I can verify that the BlewBarry pairs well with VandeKamps, tater tots and store brand tartar sauce...



    Nothing but the best for me and Mrs. Cgg on Valentine's day!🤣
    "Bipartisan" usually means that a bigger than normal deception is happening.
    George Carlin
  • coolgunguycoolgunguy Senior Member Posts: 6,610 Senior Member
    Bit of a dry mouth this am but no popskull, so that's a good thing.  I don't feel any less shameful... maybe I need to drink more of it?🤔
    "Bipartisan" usually means that a bigger than normal deception is happening.
    George Carlin
  • CHIRO1989CHIRO1989 Senior Member Posts: 12,621 Senior Member
    Bit of a dry mouth this am but no popskull, so that's a good thing.  I don't feel any less shameful... maybe I need to drink more of it?🤔
    Probably got the dry mouth from the tater-tots
    I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that they turn away from their ways and live. Eze 33:11
  • JermanatorJermanator Senior Member Posts: 16,128 Senior Member
    Round 3: Bisley... Thursday. Tugar... Friday.
    Reason obeys itself; and ignorance submits to whatever is dictated to it.
    -Thomas Paine
  • JermanatorJermanator Senior Member Posts: 16,128 Senior Member
    Tonight is a Putin night for me. I am feeling good (until morning).
    Reason obeys itself; and ignorance submits to whatever is dictated to it.
    -Thomas Paine
  • coolgunguycoolgunguy Senior Member Posts: 6,610 Senior Member
    cpj said:
    Bit of a dry mouth this am but no popskull, so that's a good thing.  I don't feel any less shameful... maybe I need to drink more of it?🤔
    If you felt no shame, you certainly didn’t drink enough. 
    Oh, there was shame.  Probably more tonight, too.
    "Bipartisan" usually means that a bigger than normal deception is happening.
    George Carlin
  • JermanatorJermanator Senior Member Posts: 16,128 Senior Member
    edited February 2019 #169
    I talk with a bit of a lisp, so I am "Thor", and not sore. I can't, even if I wanted to right now... I am tho thor!

    No shame here. She thought I was Thor!
    Reason obeys itself; and ignorance submits to whatever is dictated to it.
    -Thomas Paine
  • TugarTugar Senior Member Posts: 2,221 Senior Member
    Thanks Jerm

    Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery.
    Winston Churchill
  • ArmoredmanArmoredman Member Posts: 362 Member
    Just found this thread - still sending out samples? I used to live in a trailer...
  • coolgunguycoolgunguy Senior Member Posts: 6,610 Senior Member
    Look at the new kid, trying to get in on the action!🤣😉
    "Bipartisan" usually means that a bigger than normal deception is happening.
    George Carlin
  • KMT2KMT2 Member Posts: 360 Member
    Good stuff Jerm.
     Damn It Janet, is considering donating to the Rasberry  cause.
     I told her this weekend and like the idea.

    If you think OHSA is a little town in Wisconsin you may be in trouble!
    Peace is firing my guns or 60 feet below the surface of the water.
  • JermanatorJermanator Senior Member Posts: 16,128 Senior Member
    edited February 2019 #174
    Attention Putin's Cider recipients:

    I cracked one of my gallon jugs today and it let out a SSSSShhhhh. I have been trying like hell to avoid using any chemicals or preservatives, but it happened to me last year and it is happening again... your cider may be slightly carbonated. This is not what I planned, but it is ok. It only means that there was still some residual sugar left and yeast to ferment them. The byproduct is Co2. People pay big bucks for that... they call it champagne or sparkling wine.

    If you are not happy, I will honor my 100% money back guarantee.
    Reason obeys itself; and ignorance submits to whatever is dictated to it.
    -Thomas Paine
  • JermanatorJermanator Senior Member Posts: 16,128 Senior Member
    So your still cider is now sparkling cider!
    Reason obeys itself; and ignorance submits to whatever is dictated to it.
    -Thomas Paine
  • JermanatorJermanator Senior Member Posts: 16,128 Senior Member
    The trick with Bum Wine is that I have so much damn sugar in there and those yeasts create so much alcohol (17-20%), it is toxic to them-- it preserves itself. With Putin's Cider, they burn through most all of the sugar and can still handle more (11.25%). Maybe I need to make Putin stronger. 
    Reason obeys itself; and ignorance submits to whatever is dictated to it.
    -Thomas Paine
  • coolgunguycoolgunguy Senior Member Posts: 6,610 Senior Member
    The trick with Bum Wine is that I have so much damn sugar in there and those yeasts create so much alcohol (17-20%), it is toxic to them-- it preserves itself. With Putin's Cider, they burn through most all of the sugar and can still handle more (11.25%). Maybe I need to make Putin stronger. 
    When you Putin cider, it's go big or go home...
    "Bipartisan" usually means that a bigger than normal deception is happening.
    George Carlin
  • JermanatorJermanator Senior Member Posts: 16,128 Senior Member
    So you are saying I need to make a bigger Putin's Cider?
    Reason obeys itself; and ignorance submits to whatever is dictated to it.
    -Thomas Paine
  • CHIRO1989CHIRO1989 Senior Member Posts: 12,621 Senior Member
    So your still cider is now sparkling cider!
    Sparklin Cider has some potential for an interesting label, sayin'.......... ;)
    I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that they turn away from their ways and live. Eze 33:11
  • jbp-ohiojbp-ohio Senior Member Posts: 10,156 Senior Member
    No need for preservatives. Most expect not to last long after Putin Cider..........
    "The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not." Thomas Jefferson
  • coolgunguycoolgunguy Senior Member Posts: 6,610 Senior Member
    So you are saying I need to make a bigger Putin's Cider?
    Something like that. 🤣
    "Bipartisan" usually means that a bigger than normal deception is happening.
    George Carlin
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