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So the door to door voting volunteers stopped by....

5280 shooter II5280 shooter II Senior MemberPosts: 3,923 Senior Member
And of course I have to have fun with them...just cause these one's were wearing.......you guessed it! Obama/Biden pins! :tooth:

Question: "are you going to vote in this year's election?"

Answer: "can you read what it says here on my sweatshirt? A R M Y....every service member ex or active across the world, votes.....we swore allegiance to a document y'all forgot about, it's called the US Constitution.....but to answer your question, I've already mailed in my ballot."

Question: "will you be voting for Barack Obama or Mitt Romney?"

Answer: "did you have an orgasm the first time you had sex with a man?"

Retort: "I don't see how that's relevant sir!"

Counter-retort: "of course it's not.....it's none of anyone's business.....just like your question....got it?"

Reply: "thank you for your time sir, we just wanted to remind you to vote."

Counter-reply: "how could I forget? Everyone's leaving more phone messages and hate-mail than my ex-wife ever left.....compared to her...ya'll are making me feel loved and special! Have a nice day!"

Reply: "have a nice day sir!"

Wryly thinking......how is it, these bimbos get a lower rate on car insurance!?
God show's mercy on drunks and dumb animals.........two outa three ain't a bad score!

Replies

  • ghostsniper1ghostsniper1 Banned Posts: 2,645 Senior Member
    Hahahahahaha lmao. Nice one. I'd love to have been a fly on the wall for that one.
  • SirGeorgeKillianSirGeorgeKillian Senior Member Posts: 5,462 Senior Member
    I had some jahovas witness come by and try to show me a scripture is psalms to justify that rich CEOs should distribute the wealth to poor folks. I asked them if they wanted to rake leaves for money that they could give to all the poor people they know. Surprise, surprise, they declined!
    Unless life also hands you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck!
    Wambli Ska wrote: »
    I'm in love with a Glock
  • 5280 shooter II5280 shooter II Senior Member Posts: 3,923 Senior Member
    Jesus had a job....as a carpenter, then as a "motivational speaker".....I don't remember any of his followers or "witnesses'" doing anything but following the man around an running away when times got tough for them......J/K!!!!!!
    God show's mercy on drunks and dumb animals.........two outa three ain't a bad score!
  • ghostsniper1ghostsniper1 Banned Posts: 2,645 Senior Member
    Jesus had a job....as a carpenter, then as a "motivational speaker".....I don't remember any of his followers or "witnesses'" doing anything but following the man around an running away when times got tough for them......J/K!!!!!!
    Apparently you were here way before me, and I don't know you but dang I like you lol. :up:
  • rallykidrallykid Senior Member Posts: 657 Senior Member
    I had a JH walk into my open garage where I was working and I didn't hear him come in because the compressor was running. I made it to the step going into my house and he put his hand on my shoulder and yelled "excuse me!"

    I spun to the left with a left hand sweep that immediately removed his hand from my shoulder while the right hand unholstered the Glock on my right hip and brought him face to face with the business end of it. His first comment after several steps back was that he had never seen a green gun before which was promptly followed by a lecture from me on entering someone's domain, how to properly announce yourself, that you should never sneak up on someone, and what would have happened if I had not practiced good trigger discipline. I have seen them a few times in the neighborhood but for some reason they haven't stopped by again.
    No, I do not have a pink fuzzy bunny fetish but apparently my Facebook hacking wife does.
  • JeeperJeeper Senior Member Posts: 2,954 Senior Member
    BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Luis
    Wielding the Hammer of Thor first requires you to lift and carry the Hammer of Thor. - Bigslug
  • rbsivleyrbsivley Senior Member Posts: 1,166 Senior Member
    The only solicitor I'll talk to that knocks on my door is the volunteer fire dept girl. She comes by once a year. Any one else I tell them to leave.
    Randy

    Rank does not concur privileges. It imposes responsibility. Author unknown

    8 For by grace are ye saved through faith, and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God 9 not by works, lest any man should boast.
    Ephesians 2:8-9
  • JermanatorJermanator Senior Member Posts: 16,127 Senior Member
    I have a couple of Labs that go bonkers when anyone is at the door. The reality is that they are excited to meet a new friend, but it seems to scare the crap out of people. The cost of Nutra-Max is well worth it.
    Reason obeys itself; and ignorance submits to whatever is dictated to it.
    -Thomas Paine
  • robert38-55robert38-55 Senior Member Posts: 3,621 Senior Member
    Good One 5280 shooter II Good one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wish I could have been there, eating some poke skins and sipping on a PBR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    "It is what it is":usa:
  • bruchibruchi Senior Member Posts: 2,581 Senior Member
    The Jehova witness folk don't come here anymore, at first I would simply temmtehm that I had no interest in their message and when they insisted in leaving me a panflet I would tell them to hold on to it because it was going straight on to the the trash, still this took about 30 seconds of my time, had to get off front my seat and all that so I adopted a better strategy...

    I would, in my most polite voice yell them to "give me a minute", they caught me in the middle of something but I'll be there to chat with them presently, then it becomes a game of seeing how long they will hold on waiting before they go away, they are patient folks so I do my community service by making them waste a lot of time waiting for someone that is never gonna give them a minute of his time.
    If this post is non welcomed, I can always give you a recipe for making "tostones".
  • JayhawkerJayhawker Moderator Posts: 16,775 Senior Member
    bruchi wrote: »
    The Jehova witness folk don't come here anymore, at first I would simply temmtehm that I had no interest in their message and when they insisted in leaving me a panflet I would tell them to hold on to it because it was going straight on to the the trash, still this took about 30 seconds of my time, had to get off front my seat and all that so I adopted a better strategy...

    I would, in my most polite voice yell them to "give me a minute", they caught me in the middle of something but I'll be there to chat with them presently, then it becomes a game of seeing how long they will hold on waiting before they go away, they are patient folks so I do my community service by making them waste a lot of time waiting for someone that is never gonna give them a minute of his time.

    Dude...it ain't that difficult.....just answer the door naked...
    Sharps Model 1874 - "The rifle that made the west safe for Winchester"
  • breamfisherbreamfisher Senior Member Posts: 13,490 Senior Member
    Boxer shorts and hungover works well, too...
    Overkill is underrated.
  • 1965Jeff1965Jeff Senior Member Posts: 1,641 Senior Member
    They (JW) even come out the boonies where I reside, things have slowed after they pulled up when I was in the middle loading the 4-wheeler with a bunch of guns to shoot in the pasture. They wheeled up and left shortly thereafter. :yikes:
  • bruchibruchi Senior Member Posts: 2,581 Senior Member
    Jayhawker wrote: »
    Dude...it ain't that difficult.....just answer the door naked...

    I'll try that next time...
    If this post is non welcomed, I can always give you a recipe for making "tostones".
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