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Funny signs that you have seen on store windows.

robert38-55robert38-55 Senior MemberDenver,Co.Posts: 3,621 Senior Member
Just for giggles and grins what's the funniest or most unusall slogans/logo's you have seen on store windows? Here are some I recall:

Sign in a butcher shop: Dick's meat,you can't beat Dick's meat. Another butcher shop: 'We will sell no swine,before it's time." Sign on a second day old bread store:
We have your dough(money) Get it? Name of a small Mom & Pop restuarant: Squat & Cluck.(they had some of the best fried chicken I ever ate.)

Signs that should be on every morgue: You kill 'em, we chill 'em. You stab 'em,we slab 'em. We make our riches,putting people in ditches. God knows we are the last to let you down. You plug 'em, we plant 'em.
"It is what it is":usa:

Replies

  • HAWKENHAWKEN Senior Member Logansport Indiana, by way of Hohenwald Tennessee by way of Cocoa FloridaPosts: 1,720 Senior Member
    Not on a window, Ned, but on the wall of a filling station bathroom, during the 1972 presidential election. Nixon was president, at the time. "Don't change dicks in the middle of a screw, vote for Nixon in 72' "
    I don't often talk to people that voted for Obama, but when I do I order large fries!
    Life member of the American Legion, the VFW, the NRA and the Masonic Lodge, retired LEO
  • Big Al1Big Al1 Senior Member Panama City, Fl.Posts: 8,641 Senior Member
    In a small greasy spoon restaurant in Wisconsin: We reserve the right to refuse to service anyone!!
  • TeachTeach Senior Member Dellrose TNPosts: 18,428 Senior Member
    Here's one I had on the wall of my shop many years ago ;

    LABOR RATE: $15.00 PER HOUR
    IF YOU WATCH: $25.00 PER HOUR
    IF YOU HELP: $50.00 PER HOUR

    Jerry
  • N454casullN454casull Member Posts: 681 Senior Member
    Clothing store in Seattle. Leroys, Where a Pimp can buy his work clothes. The place was awesome velvet suits, zoot suits, fake allagator shoes in every color just plain awesome.
  • rapier5316rapier5316 Member Posts: 312 Member
    att00001g.jpg
    "The power of the United States has peaked, oppression follows." Robert Prector, Socionomics.net
  • ilove22silove22s Senior Member OregonPosts: 1,521 Senior Member
    when i was in Dublin, Ireland at the HRC i saw this. Its actually in google maps too.

    The ears never lie.

    - Don Burt
  • orchidmanorchidman Senior Member A true 'Southerner'. NZPosts: 8,393 Senior Member
    Local Gym had a sign up a few springs ago which said something like this....

    Are you going to look Fat and Ugly on the beach this summer?
    Join our 'beach' program and just look Ugly..
    Still enjoying the trip of a lifetime and making the best of what I have.....
  • samzheresamzhere Banned HoustonPosts: 10,923 Senior Member
    One slogan that a rental company had always made me shake my head: "We rent 1001 items including chain saws"

    The oddity being, why single out chain saws among all the possible items?

    And a sign on a small restaurant: "Chinese Food". Nothing else.

    Regarding the morgue signs, I've never seen anything similar to those listed -- I'm pretty certain it's just clever humor by a Borscht Belt jokewriter.

    The autopsy room in the big hospital room where I worked had a regular printed sign "No Food Or Drink Allowed" beneath which some sarcastic path resident had written "Cadavers Excepted".

    And, this is absolute fact, I've seen pals in Houston Homicide wear these t-shirts: On the back, a large cartoon vulture, lurking on a tree branch and looking hungry. On the front, "Houston Homicide -- Our Day Begins When Yours Ends"
  • Make_My_DayMake_My_Day Senior Member Lake County, FloridaPosts: 7,927 Senior Member
    ilove22s wrote: »
    when i was in Dublin, Ireland at the HRC i saw this. Its actually in google maps too.
    Damn, I forgot to leave my nukes home.
    :head:
    JOE MCCARTHY WAS RIGHT:
    THE DEMOCRATS ARE THE NEW COMMUNISTS!
  • HAWKENHAWKEN Senior Member Logansport Indiana, by way of Hohenwald Tennessee by way of Cocoa FloridaPosts: 1,720 Senior Member
    Sign on the front of the Brevarc County, Florida, jail, " Welcome to the Brevard County Jail, A gated community"
    I don't often talk to people that voted for Obama, but when I do I order large fries!
    Life member of the American Legion, the VFW, the NRA and the Masonic Lodge, retired LEO
  • TeachTeach Senior Member Dellrose TNPosts: 18,428 Senior Member
    Speaking of T-shirts, Sam, my wife's nephew was a paramedic, and he got a bunch of catalogs from businesses that catered to first responders of all types. One offered a SWAT team t-shirt that pictured a bunch of Keystone Kops looking guys on the front, running down the street in an armored urban assault vehicle with the caption "We don't do drive-bys"- - - - -On the back there's a cartoon of a house with about a thousand bullet holes in it- - - - -"WE STOP!"

    LOL, I guess!
    Jerry
  • robert38-55robert38-55 Senior Member Denver,Co.Posts: 3,621 Senior Member
    :beer::applause::rotflmao::spittingcoffee::roll2: Thanks guys those are great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Samzhere wrote:
    Regarding the morgue signs, I've never seen anything similar to those listed -- I'm pretty certain it's just clever humor by a Borscht Belt jokewriter

    I think your right on,Sam, I haven't ever actually seen them in a morgue either, thats why I said these should be in a morgue. Anyway,I don't remember were I saw those, a book IIRC. But then again at my age I can't recall what I ate for dinner last night either......:tooth::jester::rotflmao:
    "It is what it is":usa:
  • robert38-55robert38-55 Senior Member Denver,Co.Posts: 3,621 Senior Member
    I just thought of a couple of more. When I worked in General Aviation, I saw a sign between two men urinals this is what it said:

    "For those with short stacks, and low manifold pressure,please taxi in close."

    I was looking at an Aviation Supply magazine one day and came across an ad for the company that makes those orange balls you might see attached to overhead power and phone lines. These balls are used a lot in and around big farms where crop dusting is common in the summer. The caption under the orange balls read this:

    "Your balls,saved my life."
    "It is what it is":usa:
  • FisheadgibFisheadgib Senior Member crusted in sandPosts: 5,797 Senior Member
    A guy I worked with had a shirt that I loved that had an ad for loc-tite that said "use Loc-tite, or kiss your nuts goodby".
    snake284 wrote: »
    For my point of view, cpj is a lot like me
    .
  • ghostsniper1ghostsniper1 Banned O HI OPosts: 2,645 Senior Member
    A local radiator shop (now out of business,) had a sign up out front by the street that said "A Great Place to Take a Leak." Lol
  • TugarTugar Senior Member Western IdahoPosts: 2,459 Senior Member
    One of the local eateries in Waycross had a sign that said, "The beatings will continue until morale improves."
    Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery.
    Winston Churchill
  • TeachTeach Senior Member Dellrose TNPosts: 18,428 Senior Member
    One of the pipefitters who worked at the winery with us had a bumper sticker that said "Welders Do It In All Positions"
    Jerry
  • bullsi1911bullsi1911 Moderator Posts: 12,253 Senior Member
    Saw this in Buffalo, NY a little while ago:



    If you have to ask, you probably are.
    To make something simple is a thousand times more difficult than to make something complex.
    -Mikhail Kalashnikov
  • LMLarsenLMLarsen Senior Member VirginiaPosts: 8,337 Senior Member
    Speaking of T-shirts, when I was with the VFD in my youth, one of the guys from another station was with the DC EOD team for his day job. He often wore a T-shirt that had the DCPD logo on the left front, with "Bomb Squad" underneath. On the back it had "If you see me running, try to keep up!"
    “A gun is a tool, no better or no worse than any other tool: an axe, a shovel or anything. A gun is as good or as bad as the man using it. Remember that.”

    NRA Endowment Member
  • JerryBobCoJerryBobCo Senior Member Podunk, Tx.Posts: 8,227 Senior Member
    I'm not even sure if I should post this, but I did see someone wearing a t-shirt at the local Walmart with the following words on the front of it.

    In bold letters, were the words "I was so <effing> stupid".

    Below it, in small letters, was "then I broke up with her".

    I was surprised to see something like that in public. I guess the world is becoming more and more crass.
    Jerry

    Gun control laws make about as much sense as taking ex-lax to cure a cough.
  • samzheresamzhere Banned HoustonPosts: 10,923 Senior Member
    Understand completely, Robert. Even though some of the signs are imaginary, they're still funny. But the genuine ones, although more rare, are more fun. Graffiti for example, and these are genuine, not just from a joke book:

    My local pub has excellent graffiti. Sure, the usual stuff, but there are also some clever cartoons and genuinely funny but original scribblings. One, a nihlist creation simply said "Black Rags", while a Zen message was "There is a cat in the window".

    Add-on graffiti are often rude and childish, but years back, in a lab bathroom of a college I was attending were 3 graffiti, one beneath the other:

    "Jesus is the answer!"
    "Well, what was the question?"
    "Who is Matty Alou's brother?"
  • samzheresamzhere Banned HoustonPosts: 10,923 Senior Member
    Back to the t-shirts, the opera company I sang in a few years ago was putting on a production of Mozart's "Don Giovanni". Giovanni (Don Juan) is a bad dude and at the finale, he's confronted by a huge stone statue who drags him down to Hell, accompanied by a bunch of demons (the men's chorus in ghost masks).

    We were however doing a revisionist version, and the director upgraded the story line to show Giovanni as a wealthy aristocrat during the Mexican revolutionary period of the early 20th century. When it comes time for The Don to meet his fate, instead of dragging him to Hell, the avenging stone statue plants Giovanni against a wall, and we in the chorus, not as demons but as commoners, kill him via firing squad.

    So a few days into rehearsals, all of us in the chorus show up with t-shirts "I Shot Don Giovanni". Only 12 of those in existence and a fun inside joke.
  • robert38-55robert38-55 Senior Member Denver,Co.Posts: 3,621 Senior Member
    A local radiator shop (now out of business,) had a sign up out front by the street that said "A Great Place to Take a Leak." Lol

    Yea, good one ghostsniper. Again, when I was looking through an Aviation publication, I came across and ad for a company that repairs bladder type,Goodyear BTC-39 rubber fuel cells. Their ad read as follows. "Hartwig fuel cell repair, The best place in the world to take a Leak."

    Samzhere wrote:
    Understand completely, Robert. Even though some of the signs are imaginary, they're still funny. But the genuine ones, although more rare, are more fun. Graffiti for example, and these are genuine, not just from a joke book:

    Thanks Sam, and you Sir are 100% correct.
    "It is what it is":usa:
  • stepmacstepmac Member Posts: 172 Member
    On a jewelry store window in Vallejo, CA

    Ears pierced while you wait.

    How else are you going to do it?



    I liked the name of a pediatrist just down the street from the jewelry shop: It was Dr. D.O. Durant; now there's a pediatrist with a speciality!

    I thought the "Wishy Washy" laundrymatt said something to me.
  • mosseybuckmosseybuck Member San Luis Valley, CoPosts: 564 Senior Member
    I took this pic in Nov, 2009, before the pot law was passed in Colorado this year. This is in Saguache, Co.
    USMC '59-'65, NRA Lifer, Tennessee Squire
  • robert38-55robert38-55 Senior Member Denver,Co.Posts: 3,621 Senior Member
    I remember seeing an old black light poster, ( Remember those?), and this is what was written on the poster:

    "If your parents,didn't have any children,then you probably won't either."
    "It is what it is":usa:
  • gunwalkergunwalker Member south central Pa.Posts: 479 Member
    Seen on a vacant store front years ago: Coming Soon, Discount Brain Surgery
    We do not view the world as it is, but as we perceive it to be.
  • mythaeusmythaeus Senior Member Philadelphia, PAPosts: 831 Senior Member
    Saw this outside an Italian place in North Philly:
    34411_1530858765421_1756515_n.jpg

    Al
    "In a controversy, the instant we feel anger we have already ceased striving for the truth and have begun striving for ourselves." - Siddhartha Gautama
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