Funny self-defense dream

samzheresamzhere BannedPosts: 10,923 Senior Member
Couple nights ago I had this funny self-defense dream, and wonder whether you also get the occasional silly or funny dream about guns and such.

In real life, I've got some pals who have their kids in this upscale private K-12 academy (mostly attorneys and such who can afford it). I've been by the place quite a few times, just riding with my pals when they'd pick up their kids.

Anyway, in the dream, the parents decided to hire an armed guard to protect the kids, and they asked me if I wanted to try out. I said, sure, so they gave me the "school gun" to use. It was a big ol' S&W 29 like Dirty Harry carried.

I told 'em I'd prefer carrying one of my 1911s but they insisted I try out with the .44mag first. So they'd set up a "range" apparently in the school storage room, and put up a silhouette target. Each of the other guys I knew from real life gave a shot at the target with their own handgun, some did okay, some missed. So I fired last, and (hey, it was my dream!) I got my first round perfectly between the eyes, bang!, a big hole, dead center. So I was hired, mostly as a volunteer you understand.

And I thought, what sort of ammo is this gun loaded with (I'd just checked the tops of the cartridges prior, to ensure it was loaded, but not further). I pulled out the empty casing, and it was printed with "Clint Eastwood's Dirty Harry Ammo" and featured a grinning image of Clint. Of course, in my dream, the cartridge case was the size of a .50bmg.

All I can tell, dream faded after that, no badguys defended against. But the "Dirty Harry" signature ammo made me smile.

Your funny gun dreams?

Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

Replies

  • 5280 shooter II5280 shooter II Senior Member Posts: 3,923 Senior Member
    I'm in my reloading room making some .45 acp ammo......and the ex walks in (now she was long gone by the time I had a reloading room which is part of the funny). "Whatcha doing sweetie?" she asks......."well....I'm making some hollow-head points dear"......."Don't you mean hollow-points?"......."meh, same difference hon!" as I'm gluing a 1/4" picture of Al Gore's smiling face to the cavity of a 230 gr hollow point bullet.
    God show's mercy on drunks and dumb animals.........two outa three ain't a bad score!
  • samzheresamzhere Banned Posts: 10,923 Senior Member
    AlGore an excellent choice, the hollow gap of the bullet just fitting his forehead, right? ha ha

    Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read. - Groucho Marx
  • 5280 shooter II5280 shooter II Senior Member Posts: 3,923 Senior Member
    The other part of the dream is like a scene out of "The Big Lebowski".......firing the 1911....and you see the bullet from the target's view.......close in on Al Gore's big s-eating grin coming at you very fast but in slow motion.......very scary!
    God show's mercy on drunks and dumb animals.........two outa three ain't a bad score!
  • samzheresamzhere Banned Posts: 10,923 Senior Member
    Ha! Nothing you could think worse that a bullet coming for you, except with AlGore's smile on it! Arrgh...

    Reminds me, reading Patton's statement that the one thing that scared him in battle was the image of seeing a bullet coming straight for his nose. To which, I think it was Mark Clark replied, at least, Georgie, they'll have a big target.

    Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read. - Groucho Marx
  • 5280 shooter II5280 shooter II Senior Member Posts: 3,923 Senior Member
    In the movie, I think it was Gen. Omar Bradley that said "and what a lovely target"....I could be wrong...been a few months since I've watched "Patton" last.
    God show's mercy on drunks and dumb animals.........two outa three ain't a bad score!
  • samzheresamzhere Banned Posts: 10,923 Senior Member
    Yeah, I know it was Bradley in the movie but I seem to remember reading in a Patton bio it was Mark Clark who actually said it, or something like. It's funny nonetheless. I guess I could look it up if I think about it.

    Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read. - Groucho Marx
  • bruchibruchi Senior Member Posts: 2,582 Senior Member
    I have my share of "gun" dreams, quite vivid ones too, the one I recall now is that I visit a friend at his new house in an upscale neighborhood, after showing me his new place we proceed to arm ourselves to the teeth, go into the house in front that is filled by a large mostly young "crew" of gang guys that use the place for their illegal substance headquarters, we just go in and kill everyone, HEAT had nothing on that dream!
    If this post is non welcomed, I can always give you a recipe for making "tostones".
  • bisleybisley Senior Member Posts: 10,733 Senior Member
    I am never the hero in my dreams. I'm always running in deep mud from something, or trying to focus on the sights through all the tears.
  • DoctorWhoDoctorWho Senior Member Posts: 9,496 Senior Member
    My gun dreams always go poorly, My gun turns into playdough or some other rot, or the ammo will not chamber.
    "There is some evil in all of us, Doctor, even you, the Valeyard is an amalgamation of the darker sides of your nature, somewhere between your twelfth and final incarnation, and I may say, you do not improve with age. Founding member of the G&A forum since 1996
  • orchidmanorchidman Senior Member Posts: 7,737 Senior Member
    The only self defense dream I can remember is when I dreamt I was locked in the Playboy Mansion and couldnt escape...........Talk about a cold sweat!!.
    Still enjoying the trip of a lifetime and making the best of what I have.....
  • TeachTeach Senior Member Posts: 18,428 Senior Member
    Hmmmm- - - - -after 5 or 6 rounds, the barrel wouldn't point at the target, right?
    :jester::jester::jester:
    Jerry
    Hide and wail in terror, Eloi- - - -We Morlocks are on the hunt!
    ASK-HOLE Someone who asks for advice and always does something opposite
  • NNNN Senior Member Posts: 23,987 Senior Member
    No Sam, I do not. I don't even have dreams about war either.
    A Veteran is someone that served in the Military, it does not matter where they served.
  • DoctorWhoDoctorWho Senior Member Posts: 9,496 Senior Member
    Welcome aboard rear admiral NN ! :jester:
    "There is some evil in all of us, Doctor, even you, the Valeyard is an amalgamation of the darker sides of your nature, somewhere between your twelfth and final incarnation, and I may say, you do not improve with age. Founding member of the G&A forum since 1996
  • Big ChiefBig Chief Senior Member Posts: 32,995 Senior Member
    DoctorWho wrote: »
    Welcome aboard rear admiral NN ! :jester:

    Naw, jar-heads can't be Admirals, they call them Marine generals or just Sir!
    It's only true if it's on this forum where opinions are facts and facts are opinions
    Words of wisdom from Big Chief: Flush twice, it's a long way to the Mess Hall
    I'd rather have my sister work in a whorehouse than own another Taurus!
  • DoctorWhoDoctorWho Senior Member Posts: 9,496 Senior Member
    I wanted to be funny, emphasis on rear !!! :jester:
    "There is some evil in all of us, Doctor, even you, the Valeyard is an amalgamation of the darker sides of your nature, somewhere between your twelfth and final incarnation, and I may say, you do not improve with age. Founding member of the G&A forum since 1996
  • samzheresamzhere Banned Posts: 10,923 Senior Member
    bisley wrote: »
    I am never the hero in my dreams. I'm always running in deep mud from something, or trying to focus on the sights through all the tears.

    Mine are usually the same, also like Doc's, with ammo that won't load or fire, guns that are disassembled and you can't put them together in time, typical anxiety/nightmare types.

    It's therefore why I listed this funny Dirty Harry brand ammo dream -- it made me laugh while in the dream and later when I woke.

    I've also had the occasional realistic gun/shooting dream but you don't wanna hear about them. So I wanted to stick with the funny or silly stuff.

    Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read. - Groucho Marx
  • NNNN Senior Member Posts: 23,987 Senior Member
    DoctorWho wrote: »
    Welcome aboard rear admiral NN ! :jester:
    Major will do.

    NN arriving.
    A Veteran is someone that served in the Military, it does not matter where they served.
  • samzheresamzhere Banned Posts: 10,923 Senior Member
    bis said he's never the hero in his dreams. I am neither, except rarely. What's interesting, due to my extensive technical education and experience in chemistry, biology, engineering science, and also being a big time Trekkie, that I dream quite a few Star Trek dreams.

    In the dreams I'm always an assistant tech specialist to Geordie or Riker or someone else. Never the ill-fated "Ensign Redshirt" either, but I'm one of the host of gold-shirted techie background figures who are always handing data tablets and showing viewscreens to the main characters. And it's okay by me, crew member of the Enterprise.

    Funny how we "cast" our own roles in dreams. Once in a great while I'm the protagonist or top dog but rarely -- most of the time I'm helping in a small group of people who are searching for something or fighting against evil Democrat zombies (ha ha)

    Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read. - Groucho Marx
  • bruchibruchi Senior Member Posts: 2,582 Senior Member
    Not gun related but for a spell I was having recurring dreams where I was either lost or having problems with my truck, usually at night in all sort of deserted areas or that I was getting on a shiop and sailing away.
    If this post is non welcomed, I can always give you a recipe for making "tostones".
  • samzheresamzhere Banned Posts: 10,923 Senior Member
    We all have problem solving dreams, sometimes more of them if we're having stress in real life, but otherwise still the problem solving occurs. Right now I'm feeling physically quite okay, and have no real problems in my lap. Nevertheless I've for some weird reason been dreaming "electronics repair" dreams.

    I find myself in a group of colleagues, all of us working diligently to troubleshoot and fix electronic component boards. I never figure out what the boards are used for -- computers or audio or what -- but I've got to find cold solder joints and bad transistor sinks and other problems, and fix them. And we're all working like the dickens on our various tasks, not actually unpleasant work, just very very busy.

    Naturally, I've actually done this type of work in real life, so I can draw on that to make my dream fairly realistic, even though I never manage to figure out what the job is for -- I'm guessing it's defense or security related.

    But for some strange reason, I have been dreaming "electronics repair" dreams often the past few months. Dreams are soooo entertaining.

    Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read. - Groucho Marx
  • skwirrelskwirrel Member Posts: 175 Member
    If I dream about shooting, the triggers are always very heavy.
    Live long and prosper.
  • DoctorWhoDoctorWho Senior Member Posts: 9,496 Senior Member
    I had a weird dream last night, I was the despotic tinpot dictator of a small country and was being fitted for attire, and suddenly I notice the chap fitting Me for My tinpot's uniform was the Cardassian tailor from deep space nine.
    "There is some evil in all of us, Doctor, even you, the Valeyard is an amalgamation of the darker sides of your nature, somewhere between your twelfth and final incarnation, and I may say, you do not improve with age. Founding member of the G&A forum since 1996
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