So something to cheer up the folks at yer funeral instead of a depressing 'Funeral Dirge' .
Was it Elmer Keith and few others who whipped out their revolvers and to the surprise of many attendees and fired a volley into the air at a funeral to send off one of their friends!
It's only true if it's on this forum where opinions are facts and facts are opinions
Words of wisdom from Big Chief: Flush twice, it's a long way to the Mess Hall
I'd rather have my sister work in a whorehouse than own another Taurus!
So something to cheer up the folks at yer funeral instead of a depressing 'Funeral Dirge' .
Was it Elmer Keith and few others who whipped out their revolvers and to the surprise of many attendees and fired a volley into the air at a funeral to send off one of their friends!
Now there is an idea that I like. a 21 pistol salute! :beer:
Refusing to conform to the left wing mantra of political correctness by insisting on telling the truth does not make you a loud mouth.
After spending most of my life in the fire service just have bagpipes play amazing grace and toss my ashes into the wind.
Be careful about that, too. Most terrible experience I ever had at a "funeral" was when a person who'd been very dear to me had died, and we were taken onto a boat into Galveston Bay for the scattering of the ashes. The ex-hubbie and friends of the gal who'd been cremated were all s-faced drunk, and they dumped the ashes overboard into the wind, and they all blew right back into our faces. It was just like a bad movie comedy scene but this was real, and a terrible experience.
Incidentally, I'm a card-carrying registered member of the Neptune Society. This is an org that had its origins in San Francisco among some artists there but has spread worldwide. If a member dies, the society has morticians pick up the cadaver and take it for cremation, and will scatter the ashes at sea. This is what will be done with me, pre-paid and no hassle for the family or friends.
Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read. - Groucho Marx
When your Medicare card arrives in the mail, it's natural to contemplate the end of things. If I don't win the lottery, I want to be cremated and my ashes dumped in Al Gore's swimming pool. If I do win the lottery, I will buy as much arable land as my estate can afford (to deprive the living of its use) and construct a medium sized chicken-wire and stucco pyramid on it. The pyramid will be full of tomb paintings recording a life I never lived, but it should be convincing enough to force re-writes of history books a millennium or 2 from now. You can buy new, hand painted, full size, duplicates of ancient Egyptian coffins for about a grand.
We have a "prairie cemetery" near here...no vaults. no embalming,flat, natural head stones - pine boxes or biodegradeable urns only..costs $500.00 to be buried there if a family member acts as the funeral director... I have the plans for the box...it's 100 bucks worth of lumber...
Sharps Model 1874 - "The rifle that made the west safe for Winchester"
We have a "prairie cemetery" near here...no vaults. no embalming,flat, natural head stones - pine boxes or biodegradeable urns only..costs $500.00 to be buried there if a family member acts as the funeral director... I have the plans for the box...it's 100 bucks worth of lumber...
That's pretty cool. My plan is to donate my remains to science. I'm told that when they're done they cremate what's left and return that to the family. But I really don't care what happens to this sack of guts my spirit walks around in.
Teach your children to love guns, they'll never be able to afford drugs
Woke up this morning
Put on my slippers
Walked in the kitchen and died
And oh what a feeling!
When my soul
Went thru the ceiling
And on up into heaven I did ride
When I got there they did say
John, it happened this way
You slipped upon the floor
And hit your head
And all the angels say
Just before you passed away
These were the very last words
That you said:
Chorus:
Please don't bury me
Down in that cold cold ground
No, I'd druther have "em" cut me up
And pass me all around
Throw my brain in a hurricane
And the blind can have my eyes
And the deaf can take both of my ears
If they don't mind the size
Give my stomach to Milwaukee
If they run out of beer
Put my socks in a cedar box
Just get "em" out of here
Venus de Milo can have my arms
Look out! I've got your nose
Sell my heart to the junkman
And give my love to Rose
Repeat Chorus
Give my feet to the footloose
Careless, fancy free
Give my knees to the needy
Don't pull that stuff on me
Hand me down my walking cane
It's a sin to tell a lie
Send my mouth way down south
And kiss my A$$ goodbye
Repeat Chorus
It's only true if it's on this forum where opinions are facts and facts are opinions
Words of wisdom from Big Chief: Flush twice, it's a long way to the Mess Hall
I'd rather have my sister work in a whorehouse than own another Taurus!
Replies
Was it Elmer Keith and few others who whipped out their revolvers and to the surprise of many attendees and fired a volley into the air at a funeral to send off one of their friends!
Words of wisdom from Big Chief: Flush twice, it's a long way to the Mess Hall
I'd rather have my sister work in a whorehouse than own another Taurus!
Now there is an idea that I like. a 21 pistol salute! :beer:
Be careful about that, too. Most terrible experience I ever had at a "funeral" was when a person who'd been very dear to me had died, and we were taken onto a boat into Galveston Bay for the scattering of the ashes. The ex-hubbie and friends of the gal who'd been cremated were all s-faced drunk, and they dumped the ashes overboard into the wind, and they all blew right back into our faces. It was just like a bad movie comedy scene but this was real, and a terrible experience.
Incidentally, I'm a card-carrying registered member of the Neptune Society. This is an org that had its origins in San Francisco among some artists there but has spread worldwide. If a member dies, the society has morticians pick up the cadaver and take it for cremation, and will scatter the ashes at sea. This is what will be done with me, pre-paid and no hassle for the family or friends.
Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read. - Groucho Marx
"If you get it and didn't work for it, someone else worked for it and didn't get it..."
Here you are > http://www.theinteriorgallery.com/pd_sarcophagus_cabinet.cfm
Of course they're set up nowadays to hold CDs and tapes and such, but just takeout the shelving and you're good to go.
Whoa - they're on sale for 7 bills. Sure beats a grandfather clock in the den or foyer.
"If you get it and didn't work for it, someone else worked for it and didn't get it..."
That's pretty cool. My plan is to donate my remains to science. I'm told that when they're done they cremate what's left and return that to the family. But I really don't care what happens to this sack of guts my spirit walks around in.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JfBdMXhpQnU
Please Don't Bury Me Lyrics
Woke up this morning
Put on my slippers
Walked in the kitchen and died
And oh what a feeling!
When my soul
Went thru the ceiling
And on up into heaven I did ride
When I got there they did say
John, it happened this way
You slipped upon the floor
And hit your head
And all the angels say
Just before you passed away
These were the very last words
That you said:
Chorus:
Please don't bury me
Down in that cold cold ground
No, I'd druther have "em" cut me up
And pass me all around
Throw my brain in a hurricane
And the blind can have my eyes
And the deaf can take both of my ears
If they don't mind the size
Give my stomach to Milwaukee
If they run out of beer
Put my socks in a cedar box
Just get "em" out of here
Venus de Milo can have my arms
Look out! I've got your nose
Sell my heart to the junkman
And give my love to Rose
Repeat Chorus
Give my feet to the footloose
Careless, fancy free
Give my knees to the needy
Don't pull that stuff on me
Hand me down my walking cane
It's a sin to tell a lie
Send my mouth way down south
And kiss my A$$ goodbye
Repeat Chorus
Words of wisdom from Big Chief: Flush twice, it's a long way to the Mess Hall
I'd rather have my sister work in a whorehouse than own another Taurus!