Funeral Music...

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Replies

  • Big ChiefBig Chief Senior Member Posts: 32,995 Senior Member
    So something to cheer up the folks at yer funeral instead of a depressing 'Funeral Dirge' .

    Was it Elmer Keith and few others who whipped out their revolvers and to the surprise of many attendees and fired a volley into the air at a funeral to send off one of their friends!
    It's only true if it's on this forum where opinions are facts and facts are opinions
    Words of wisdom from Big Chief: Flush twice, it's a long way to the Mess Hall
    I'd rather have my sister work in a whorehouse than own another Taurus!
  • bhl2506bhl2506 Senior Member Posts: 1,847 Senior Member
    Big Chief wrote: »
    So something to cheer up the folks at yer funeral instead of a depressing 'Funeral Dirge' .

    Was it Elmer Keith and few others who whipped out their revolvers and to the surprise of many attendees and fired a volley into the air at a funeral to send off one of their friends!

    Now there is an idea that I like. a 21 pistol salute! :beer:
    Refusing to conform to the left wing mantra of political correctness by insisting on telling the truth does not make you a loud mouth.
  • samzheresamzhere Banned Posts: 10,923 Senior Member
    gator wrote: »
    After spending most of my life in the fire service just have bagpipes play amazing grace and toss my ashes into the wind.

    Be careful about that, too. Most terrible experience I ever had at a "funeral" was when a person who'd been very dear to me had died, and we were taken onto a boat into Galveston Bay for the scattering of the ashes. The ex-hubbie and friends of the gal who'd been cremated were all s-faced drunk, and they dumped the ashes overboard into the wind, and they all blew right back into our faces. It was just like a bad movie comedy scene but this was real, and a terrible experience.

    Incidentally, I'm a card-carrying registered member of the Neptune Society. This is an org that had its origins in San Francisco among some artists there but has spread worldwide. If a member dies, the society has morticians pick up the cadaver and take it for cremation, and will scatter the ashes at sea. This is what will be done with me, pre-paid and no hassle for the family or friends.

    Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read. - Groucho Marx
  • tubabucknuttubabucknut Banned Posts: 3,520 Senior Member
    It's because I hate Trump.
  • horselipshorselips Senior Member Posts: 3,628 Senior Member
    When your Medicare card arrives in the mail, it's natural to contemplate the end of things. If I don't win the lottery, I want to be cremated and my ashes dumped in Al Gore's swimming pool. If I do win the lottery, I will buy as much arable land as my estate can afford (to deprive the living of its use) and construct a medium sized chicken-wire and stucco pyramid on it. The pyramid will be full of tomb paintings recording a life I never lived, but it should be convincing enough to force re-writes of history books a millennium or 2 from now. You can buy new, hand painted, full size, duplicates of ancient Egyptian coffins for about a grand.
  • zorbazorba Senior Member Posts: 19,816 Senior Member
    horselips wrote: »
    You can buy new, hand painted, full size, duplicates of ancient Egyptian coffins for about a grand.
    That's CHEAP for any coffin! I had NO idea...
    -Zorba, "The Veiled Male"

    "If you get it and didn't work for it, someone else worked for it and didn't get it..."
  • horselipshorselips Senior Member Posts: 3,628 Senior Member
    zorba wrote: »
    That's CHEAP for any coffin! I had NO idea...

    Here you are > http://www.theinteriorgallery.com/pd_sarcophagus_cabinet.cfm

    Of course they're set up nowadays to hold CDs and tapes and such, but just takeout the shelving and you're good to go.

    Whoa - they're on sale for 7 bills. Sure beats a grandfather clock in the den or foyer.
  • zorbazorba Senior Member Posts: 19,816 Senior Member
    That's just biatchin' cool!
    -Zorba, "The Veiled Male"

    "If you get it and didn't work for it, someone else worked for it and didn't get it..."
  • JayhawkerJayhawker Moderator Posts: 15,190 Senior Member
    We have a "prairie cemetery" near here...no vaults. no embalming,flat, natural head stones - pine boxes or biodegradeable urns only..costs $500.00 to be buried there if a family member acts as the funeral director... I have the plans for the box...it's 100 bucks worth of lumber...
    Sharps Model 1874 - "The rifle that made the west safe for Winchester"
  • RazorbackerRazorbacker Senior Member Posts: 4,646 Senior Member
    Jayhawker wrote: »
    We have a "prairie cemetery" near here...no vaults. no embalming,flat, natural head stones - pine boxes or biodegradeable urns only..costs $500.00 to be buried there if a family member acts as the funeral director... I have the plans for the box...it's 100 bucks worth of lumber...

    That's pretty cool. My plan is to donate my remains to science. I'm told that when they're done they cremate what's left and return that to the family. But I really don't care what happens to this sack of guts my spirit walks around in.
    Teach your children to love guns, they'll never be able to afford drugs
  • Big ChiefBig Chief Senior Member Posts: 32,995 Senior Member
    John Prine song may be an option.............................

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JfBdMXhpQnU

    Please Don't Bury Me Lyrics


    Woke up this morning
    Put on my slippers
    Walked in the kitchen and died
    And oh what a feeling!
    When my soul
    Went thru the ceiling
    And on up into heaven I did ride
    When I got there they did say
    John, it happened this way
    You slipped upon the floor
    And hit your head
    And all the angels say
    Just before you passed away
    These were the very last words
    That you said:

    Chorus:
    Please don't bury me
    Down in that cold cold ground
    No, I'd druther have "em" cut me up
    And pass me all around
    Throw my brain in a hurricane
    And the blind can have my eyes
    And the deaf can take both of my ears
    If they don't mind the size
    Give my stomach to Milwaukee
    If they run out of beer
    Put my socks in a cedar box
    Just get "em" out of here
    Venus de Milo can have my arms
    Look out! I've got your nose
    Sell my heart to the junkman
    And give my love to Rose

    Repeat Chorus

    Give my feet to the footloose
    Careless, fancy free
    Give my knees to the needy
    Don't pull that stuff on me
    Hand me down my walking cane
    It's a sin to tell a lie
    Send my mouth way down south
    And kiss my A$$ goodbye

    Repeat Chorus
    It's only true if it's on this forum where opinions are facts and facts are opinions
    Words of wisdom from Big Chief: Flush twice, it's a long way to the Mess Hall
    I'd rather have my sister work in a whorehouse than own another Taurus!
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