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Arrest Warrant issued for our Turkey

Big ChiefBig Chief Senior MemberPosts: 32,995 Senior Member
in Clubhouse #1
For FOUL play..................:spittingcoffee::rotflmao::rotflmao:


OK, what do you have fer Turkey jokes?
It's only true if it's on this forum where opinions are facts and facts are opinions
Words of wisdom from Big Chief: Flush twice, it's a long way to the Mess Hall
I'd rather have my sister work in a whorehouse than own another Taurus!
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Replies

  • NCFUBARNCFUBAR Senior Member North CarolinaPosts: 4,324 Senior Member
    #2
    We convicted 2 this year so I could try a new way to cook Tom. It is a lot of work but I just have to try it since we have cooked turkeys the same 2 ways (oven roasted or deep fried) for the past 6 or 7 years and a change is need.

    “The further a society drifts from truth ... the more it will hate those who speak it."
    - George Orwell
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  • LMLarsenLMLarsen Senior Member VirginiaPosts: 8,337 Senior Member
    #3
    Why did the turkey cross the road?

    Because it's Bush's fault and you're a racist.
    “A gun is a tool, no better or no worse than any other tool: an axe, a shovel or anything. A gun is as good or as bad as the man using it. Remember that.”

    NRA Endowment Member
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  • Big ChiefBig Chief Senior Member Posts: 32,995 Senior Member
    #4
    Is our Turkey in Chief gonna do the traditional pardoning ceremony this year.
    It's only true if it's on this forum where opinions are facts and facts are opinions
    Words of wisdom from Big Chief: Flush twice, it's a long way to the Mess Hall
    I'd rather have my sister work in a whorehouse than own another Taurus!
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  • Farm Boy DeuceFarm Boy Deuce Senior Member Posts: 6,083 Senior Member
    #5
    When the President pardons said turkey what do they eat? Pork? Fried chicken?
    Just one time I want the President to show up at the pardoning ceremony with an ax. Then he can do the damn thing himself. Live on national television.
    Of that would lead to Putin biting the head off of a puppy for some Soviet holiday, just to show he is more manly.
    I am afraid we forget sometime that the basic and simple things brings us the most pleasure.
    Dad 5-31-13
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  • NNNN Senior Member NCPosts: 25,221 Senior Member
    #6
    I can't say, I might be assassinated in my sleep. :yikes:
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  • BigslugBigslug Senior Member Posts: 9,696 Senior Member
    #7
    Farm Boy Deuce wrote: »
    When the President pardons said turkey what do they eat? Pork? Fried chicken?
    Just one time I want the President to show up at the pardoning ceremony with an ax. Then he can do the damn thing himself. Live on national television.

    I have also had this same "Ted Nugent for President" fantasy. Complete with a full Food Network style lecture on how to eviscerate, pluck, disassemble, and prep - - which would actually include TWO dead turkeys because he'll needed to have one already brined in order to have a seamless transition to the oven.

    "My fellow Americans, THIS is where food comes from". . .CHOP!
    WWJMBD?

    "Nothing is safe from stupid." - Zee
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  • breamfisherbreamfisher Senior Member Living in a van, down by the river.Posts: 14,034 Senior Member
    #8
    Farm Boy Deuce wrote: »
    When the President pardons said turkey what do they eat? Pork? Fried chicken?
    Just one time I want the President to show up at the pardoning ceremony with an ax. Then he can do the damn thing himself. Live on national television.
    Of that would lead to Putin biting the head off of a puppy for some Soviet holiday, just to show he is more manly.
    A coworker is from Virginia, and he told about the local news investigating the farm where the pardoned turkeys went to. They showed up in March. Not a turkey was to be found, as they had all died.

    Seems domestic turkeys don't last too long after the nominal harvest time. Usually they die due to obesity, or have to be put down.

    http://www.nationaljournal.com/white-house/soon-president-obama-will-pardon-a-thanksgiving-turkey-then-it-will-die-20131121
    I'm just here for snark.
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  • bullsi1911bullsi1911 Moderator Posts: 12,309 Senior Member
    #9
    LMLarsen wrote: »
    Why did the turkey cross the road?

    Because it's Bush's fault and you're a racist.

    Why did the libertarian turkey cross the road?

    None of your business. Am I being detained?
    To make something simple is a thousand times more difficult than to make something complex.
    -Mikhail Kalashnikov
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  • Big ChiefBig Chief Senior Member Posts: 32,995 Senior Member
    #10
    NN wrote: »
    I can't say, I might be assassinated in my sleep. :yikes:

    Mrs Clean must have you on a short chain fer the upcoming Holidays................:jester:
    It's only true if it's on this forum where opinions are facts and facts are opinions
    Words of wisdom from Big Chief: Flush twice, it's a long way to the Mess Hall
    I'd rather have my sister work in a whorehouse than own another Taurus!
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