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Scientists have finally figured where Swiss cheese holes come from

Big ChiefBig Chief Senior MemberPosts: 32,995 Senior Member
Scientists have finally figured where Swiss cheese holes come from, and why they're disappearing

http://www.foxnews.com/leisure/2015/05/29/scientists-have-finally-figured-out-what-makes-holes-in-swiss-cheese/?intcmp=features
It's only true if it's on this forum where opinions are facts and facts are opinions
Words of wisdom from Big Chief: Flush twice, it's a long way to the Mess Hall
I'd rather have my sister work in a whorehouse than own another Taurus!

Replies

  • JermanatorJermanator Senior Member Posts: 16,128 Senior Member
    Hay, that is pretty interesting!
    Reason obeys itself; and ignorance submits to whatever is dictated to it.
    -Thomas Paine
  • Dr. dbDr. db Senior Member Posts: 1,541 Senior Member
    Shut your cheese hole Jerm. I thought that carbon dioxide was the reason.
  • samzheresamzhere Banned Posts: 10,923 Senior Member
    The world can now breathe easier and children everywhere can sleep more soundly, knowing that the mystery is finally solved. Whew!
  • JermanatorJermanator Senior Member Posts: 16,128 Senior Member
    Dr. db wrote: »
    Shut your cheese hole Jerm. I thought that carbon dioxide was the reason.
    That is a cheesy response if you ask me.
    Reason obeys itself; and ignorance submits to whatever is dictated to it.
    -Thomas Paine
  • Big ChiefBig Chief Senior Member Posts: 32,995 Senior Member
    Jermanator wrote: »
    Hay, that is pretty interesting!

    I wuz thunking of you when I saw that article. I guess they will use punches to keep the Swiss Cheese looking like Swiss Cheese for the traditionalist.
    It's only true if it's on this forum where opinions are facts and facts are opinions
    Words of wisdom from Big Chief: Flush twice, it's a long way to the Mess Hall
    I'd rather have my sister work in a whorehouse than own another Taurus!
  • Big ChiefBig Chief Senior Member Posts: 32,995 Senior Member
    But wait a minute, if this is correct then way does Swiss Cheese made here in the USA/around the world on modern equipment still have holes? I mean no hay is present because of modern machinery (straight from the cow to sterilized containers) to make the holes ??????
    It's only true if it's on this forum where opinions are facts and facts are opinions
    Words of wisdom from Big Chief: Flush twice, it's a long way to the Mess Hall
    I'd rather have my sister work in a whorehouse than own another Taurus!
  • Fat BillyFat Billy Senior Member Posts: 1,813 Senior Member
    It's George Bush's fault. :jester: Later,
    Fat Billy

    Recoil is how you know primer ignition is complete.
  • JermanatorJermanator Senior Member Posts: 16,128 Senior Member
    Maybe I curd have wheyed in on the subject a bit more before I hit the post button.
    Reason obeys itself; and ignorance submits to whatever is dictated to it.
    -Thomas Paine
  • coolgunguycoolgunguy Senior Member Posts: 6,610 Senior Member
    Briefore you declare this problem cured, let me wheel this one in front of you, cheesy though it may be; there's nothing like one Morbier to get you through the daily rind.
    "Bipartisan" usually means that a bigger than normal deception is happening.
    George Carlin
  • orchidmanorchidman Senior Member Posts: 8,105 Senior Member
    Big Chief wrote: »
    I wuz thunking of you when I saw that article. I guess they will use punches to keep the Swiss Cheese looking like Swiss Cheese for the traditionalist.

    :nono:

    I was sworn to secrecy but you guys are family, right.

    Don't tell anyone else, but I applied for a job that was advertised discretely and it was for an experienced shooter that was prepared to travel. When I turned up for the interview ( they asked me to bring a selection of rifles in different calibres) I was interviewed and after the talking was done, I was taken to a range where they had pictures of different sized blocks of cheese at varying distances. I was asked to shoot each pic with a different calibre.......and some pics more than once with different bullets.

    It seemed I passed..............so my new occupation is now 'Cheese Shooter'. I leave for Switzerland next week!
    Still enjoying the trip of a lifetime and making the best of what I have.....
  • tennmiketennmike Senior Member Posts: 27,395 Senior Member
    Big Chief wrote: »
    But wait a minute, if this is correct then way does Swiss Cheese made here in the USA/around the world on modern equipment still have holes? I mean no hay is present because of modern machinery (straight from the cow to sterilized containers) to make the holes ??????

    Now you gone and done it! You done asked the very question that will curdle their milk all over again! :roll2:
      I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer”
    ― Douglas Adams
  • Big ChiefBig Chief Senior Member Posts: 32,995 Senior Member
    Jerm is just a cotton pickin curatolo di bovi :tooth:
    It's only true if it's on this forum where opinions are facts and facts are opinions
    Words of wisdom from Big Chief: Flush twice, it's a long way to the Mess Hall
    I'd rather have my sister work in a whorehouse than own another Taurus!
  • Big ChiefBig Chief Senior Member Posts: 32,995 Senior Member
    "Blind Man:

    A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu. "I'm sorry, sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer. I'll smell it and order from there." A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty dish pile and picks up a greasy fork. He returns to the blind man's table and hands it to him. The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep breath. "Ah, yes, that's what I'll have -- meatloaf and mashed potatoes." Unbelievable, the owner thinks as he walks towards the kitchen. The cook happens to be the owner's wife. He tells her what had just happened. The blind man eats his meal and leaves.

    Several days later, the blind man returns and the owner mistakenly brings him a menu again. "Sir, remember me? I'm the blind man." "I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you. I'll go get you a dirty fork." The owner retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the blind man. After another deep breath, the blind man says, "That smells great. I'll take the macaroni and cheese with Cheese." Walking away in disbelief, the owner thinks the blind man is screwing around with him and tells his wife that the next time the blind man comes in he's going to test him. The blind man eats and leaves.

    He returns the following week, but this time the owner sees him coming and runs to the kitchen. He tells his wife, "Amelia, rub this fork on your panties before I take it to the blind man." Amelia complies and hands her husband the fork. As the blind man walks in and sits down, the owner is ready and waiting. "Good afternoon, sir, this time I remembered you and I already have the fork ready for you." The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff, and says, "Hey I didn't know that Amelia worked here..."

    source: http://www.jokes4us.com/miscellaneousjokes/foodjokes/cheesejokes.html
    It's only true if it's on this forum where opinions are facts and facts are opinions
    Words of wisdom from Big Chief: Flush twice, it's a long way to the Mess Hall
    I'd rather have my sister work in a whorehouse than own another Taurus!
  • Big ChiefBig Chief Senior Member Posts: 32,995 Senior Member
    Well from the same website here are some Cheesy jokes............

    source: http://www.jokes4us.com/miscellaneousjokes/foodjokes/cheesejokes.html


    Q: What happened after an explosion at a French cheese factory? A: All that was left was de brie. Q:

    What do you call cheese that is sad? A: Blue cheese.

    Q: How do you get a mouse to smile? A: Say cheese!

    Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Nacho Cheese!

    Q: Which genre of music appeals to most cheeses? A: R'n'Brie

    Q: When should you go on a cheese diet? A: If you need to cheddar a few pounds

    Q: What is a cannibal's favourite cheese? A: Limburger

    Q: What do you call an anorexic woman with a yeast infection? A: A Quarter Ponder with Cheese.

    Q: What did the blind man say after being handed a cheese grater? A: "That's the most violent book I've ever read."

    Q: Which is the most religious cheese? A: Swiss, because it is holy.

    Q: Did you hear about the cheese failed to medal at the olympics? A: It fell at the final curdle

    Q: Why did the dairy farmer go on a diet? A: She wanted to cheddar a few pounds!

    Q: Which search engine is popular amongst mice? A: Ask Cheese.

    Q: When should you keep an eye on your cheese? A: When it's up to no Gouda.

    Q: What do you call a piece of cheese that likes to shoot hoops? A: Swiss!!!

    Q: Why do you always bring a bag of chips to a party? A: In queso emergency.

    Q: What do you call an anorexic girl with a yeast infection? A: Quarter-pounder with cheese

    Q: What do you get when you cross a smurf and a cow? A: Blue cheese!

    Q: What is Tom Hanks' favourite soft cheese? A: Philadelphia.

    Q: Why doesn't cheddar like to party with crackers? A: Someone always cuts the cheese.

    Q: When shouldn't you believe a word your cheese is saying? A: When it's too Gouda to be true.

    Q: Whom did the cheesy Bible start with? A: Edam and Eve.

    Q: What hotel do mice stay in ? A: The Stilton

    Q: What do cheese makers dance to on halloween? A: The muenster mash!

    Q: What did mutter say to paneer? A: Tu cheese badi hai mast mast.

    Q: What did the Cheese salesman say? A: That cheese may be Gouda, but this one is Feta!

    Q: What group of cheese has been known to fly? A: Curds of prey!

    Q: What is the name of the country near Iraq that is made entirely of cheese? A: Curd-istan

    Q: What does a lady in a mall do with a cheesey credit card? A: Go on a shopping brie.

    Q: What cheese surrounds a medieval castle? A: Moatzeralla

    Q: What cheese should you use to hide a horse? A: Mascarpone.

    Q: What do you call cheese that is acting crazy? A: A basket queso.

    Q: What Welsh cheese must you always eat with caution? A: Caerphilly

    Q: What do you call a cheese that is an alcoholic? A: Livarot

    Q: What is a lions favourite cheese? A: Roar-quefort

    Q: What did the piece of Cheddar say to the ghost? A: I'm Lac-ghost intolerant

    Q: Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? A: Because he couldn't get his stilton.

    Q: What cheese do beavers like? A: eDam

    Q: Which is the Richest Cheese in the world? A: Paris Stilton.

    Q: What do you call an oriental cheese? A: Parm-asian

    Q: How good is a Coney Island gyro? A: Feta than sex.

    Q: What's the most popular American cheese sitcom? A: Curd Your Enthusiasm

    Q: Why does cheese look normal? A: Because everyone else on the plate is crackers.

    Q: What did the street cheese say after he got attacked by several blades? A: I've felt grater.

    Q: Why did the wheel act so bossy? A: Cause he was the "Big Cheese."

    Q: What is a lions favourite cheese? A: Roar-quefort.

    Q: What did Gorgonzola say to Cheddar? A: Lookin' Sharp.

    Q: Whats the best cheese to coax a bear down a mountain? A: Camembert (Come On Bear)

    Q: When do they smother a burrito in cheese? A: In best queso scenario.

    Q: What is a basketball players favorite kind of cheese? A: Swish cheese!

    Q: What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror ? A: Halloumi (Hello me)

    Q: Why is Christmas the cheesiest holiday? A: Baby cheeses. (Baby Jesus)


    source: http://www.jokes4us.com/miscellaneousjokes/foodjokes/cheesejokes.html
    It's only true if it's on this forum where opinions are facts and facts are opinions
    Words of wisdom from Big Chief: Flush twice, it's a long way to the Mess Hall
    I'd rather have my sister work in a whorehouse than own another Taurus!
  • horselipshorselips Senior Member Posts: 3,628 Senior Member
    And when Apollo 16 confirmed, once and for all, that the moon was not made of Swiss cheese, we never went back.
  • samzheresamzhere Banned Posts: 10,923 Senior Member
    orchidman wrote: »
    :nono:

    I was sworn to secrecy but you guys are family, right.

    Don't tell anyone else, but I applied for a job that was advertised discretely and it was for an experienced shooter that was prepared to travel. When I turned up for the interview ( they asked me to bring a selection of rifles in different calibres) I was interviewed and after the talking was done, I was taken to a range where they had pictures of different sized blocks of cheese at varying distances. I was asked to shoot each pic with a different calibre.......and some pics more than once with different bullets.

    It seemed I passed..............so my new occupation is now 'Cheese Shooter'. I leave for Switzerland next week!

    This seems exactly the same story as Stephen Hunter's novel "Point of Impact" where he's hired by a bunch of secret dudes to simulate the Kennedy assassination and then framed. Be werry werry careful, as Elmer Fudd might caution you.
  • samzheresamzhere Banned Posts: 10,923 Senior Member
    Big Chief wrote: »
    Well from the same website here are some Cheesy jokes............

    And some of us writers here on the forum have trouble getting published? Eeek.
  • samzheresamzhere Banned Posts: 10,923 Senior Member
    And why I love this crazy forum!
  • Elk creekElk creek Senior Member Posts: 6,450 Senior Member
    That explination seem full of holes........
    Aim higher, or get a bigger gun.
  • Dr. dbDr. db Senior Member Posts: 1,541 Senior Member
    Jerm: Swiss humor. An oxymoron.
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