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A squirrel fell out of a tree and hit me!

BigDanSBigDanS Senior MemberPosts: 6,973 Senior Member
While at a kids party in the park yesterday, I was standing under some trees talking with other parents.

A squirrel fell out of the tree, and hit me in the chest / stomach, then fell to the ground. It scampered back up the tree immediately.

I can honestly say that's never happened before. FWIW, a squirrel hitting you in the chest unexpectedly is startling. :yikes:

D
"A patriot is mocked, scorned and hated; yet when his cause succeeds, all men will join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot." Mark Twain
Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives.... now who's bringing the hot wings? :jester:

Replies

  • Big ChiefBig Chief Senior Member Posts: 32,995 Senior Member
    NN might be down in south FLA huntin them tree rats surreptitiously with his .327 and only stunned one :tooth:
    It's only true if it's on this forum where opinions are facts and facts are opinions
    Words of wisdom from Big Chief: Flush twice, it's a long way to the Mess Hall
    I'd rather have my sister work in a whorehouse than own another Taurus!
  • samzheresamzhere Banned Posts: 10,923 Senior Member
    Maybe it was after a couple of nuts?

    I had a big raven fall out of a tree and hit me a glancing blow. It was fighting with another bird in the branches of the tree and the 2 birds were sort of tangled, and fell. The one that brushed past me and the other one landed splat on the ground and the birds seemed embarrassed. They both quickly regrouped and flew off.

    Weird. Hitchcock made a movie about this but he didn't include squirrels. Maybe a sequel?
  • tennmiketennmike Senior Member Posts: 27,395 Senior Member
    :rotflmao: That's funny! Good thing it didn't go crazy while it was on you. :silly:

    Stoopid squirrel probably lost it's grip going from one limb to another. Any ripe fruit fermenting on the vines/trees down there now? Squirrels and other animals, and birds, are known to get a bit tipsy on fermented fruit. Drunk squirrels are hilariously funny.
      I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer”
    ― Douglas Adams
  • Big ChiefBig Chief Senior Member Posts: 32,995 Senior Member
    We had one lose its balance and fall down a gutter from the the roof of our back porch and slide down the spout to the ground.............our cats were very entertained by that mishap :rotflmao::rotflmao:
    It's only true if it's on this forum where opinions are facts and facts are opinions
    Words of wisdom from Big Chief: Flush twice, it's a long way to the Mess Hall
    I'd rather have my sister work in a whorehouse than own another Taurus!
  • zorbazorba Senior Member Posts: 23,637 Senior Member
    Big Chief wrote: »
    NN might be down in south FLA huntin them tree rats surreptitiously with his .270 and only stunned one :tooth:
    FIFY
    -Zorba, "The Veiled Male"

    "If you get it and didn't work for it, someone else worked for it and didn't get it..."
  • samzheresamzhere Banned Posts: 10,923 Senior Member
    Big Chief wrote: »
    We had one lose its balance and fall down a gutter from the the roof of our back porch and slide down the spout to the ground.............our cats were very entertained by that mishap

    Some years ago I had this great dude cat Dupree, who was very much a dominant cat in the neighborhood, and ruled his back yard with an iron paw.

    So one Saturday I was watching him chase a squirrel that was on the ground. I thought that Dupree would grab it and create havoc. Instead, amazingly, they were playing tag! Dupree chased the squirrel around and up the tree and down, and then they'd reverse roles and the squirrel chased Dupree. They were pals.

    Occasionally the squirrel would come to the back door and chitter for Dupree. I'd let him out and another fun game of tag would ensue.

    I've never seen that sort of thing happen ever. Fun.
  • jaywaptijaywapti Senior Member Posts: 4,958 Senior Member
    He just wanted to join the party.

    JAY
    THE DEFINITION OF GUN CONTROL IS HITTING THE TARGET WITH YOUR FIRST SHOT
  • Big ChiefBig Chief Senior Member Posts: 32,995 Senior Member
    But the $64,000 question is could you have drew your concealed .22 revolver and whacked that squirrel as it ran up a tree on the first shot with a cold barrel? :jester:
    It's only true if it's on this forum where opinions are facts and facts are opinions
    Words of wisdom from Big Chief: Flush twice, it's a long way to the Mess Hall
    I'd rather have my sister work in a whorehouse than own another Taurus!
  • coolgunguycoolgunguy Senior Member Posts: 6,610 Senior Member
    Big Chief wrote: »
    But the $64,000 question is could you have drew your concealed .22 revolver and whacked that squirrel as it ran up a tree on the first shot with a cold barrel? :jester:


    Not from a hundred yards...:troll:
    "Bipartisan" usually means that a bigger than normal deception is happening.
    George Carlin
  • BAMAAKBAMAAK Senior Member Posts: 4,484 Senior Member
    I'd sue the city and the squirrel and maybe Thompson Center too.
    "He only earns his freedom and his life Who takes them every day by storm."

    -- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, German writer and politician
  • bisleybisley Senior Member Posts: 10,798 Senior Member
    96029035a6b34e000b4875b0062de8e2.jpg

    Well, I shot a dove once and he crashed into my chest at about 50 mph. But the only squirrel story I've got is shooting at a squirrel with a wrist rocket and making him jump out of the top of a pine tree and splatting in the middle of the road. He ran off wringing his tail and cussing a blue streak, but he didn't attack me. :tooth:
  • NNNN Senior Member Posts: 24,705 Senior Member
    Funny story
    Shut up-----KAREN; OK Cynthia
  • tennmiketennmike Senior Member Posts: 27,395 Senior Member
    It was two redneck squirrels in a tree. You didn't see the action before the squirrel hit your chest. Billy Joe squirrel handed his walnut to Joe Bob squirrel and said, "Watch this!". :tooth:
      I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer”
    ― Douglas Adams
  • samzheresamzhere Banned Posts: 10,923 Senior Member
    Thanks tenn, made me laugh.
  • shushshush Senior Member Posts: 6,259 Senior Member
    BAMAAK wrote: »
    I'd sue the city and the squirrel and maybe Thompson Center too.


    Oh!.....That is low but very astute. :cool2:
  • Big ChiefBig Chief Senior Member Posts: 32,995 Senior Member
    shush wrote: »
    Oh!.....That is low but very astute. :cool2:

    BAMAAK Astute..............all these qualities............you never met him have ya? :tooth:

    OK, maybe some of them anyhow.

    as·tute
    əˈst(y)o͞ot/
    adjective
    adjective: astute; comparative adjective: astuter; superlative adjective: astutest

    having or showing an ability to accurately assess situations or people and turn this to one's advantage.
    "an astute businessman"
    synonyms: shrewd, sharp, acute, adroit, quick, clever, crafty, intelligent, bright, smart, canny, intuitive, perceptive, insightful, incisive, sagacious, wise; More
    informalon the ball, quick on the uptake, savvy;
    heads-up
    "an astute investor"
    antonyms: stupid

    Origin
    early 17th century: from obsolete French astut or Latin astutus, from astus ‘craft.’
    Translate astute to
    Use over time for: astute
    It's only true if it's on this forum where opinions are facts and facts are opinions
    Words of wisdom from Big Chief: Flush twice, it's a long way to the Mess Hall
    I'd rather have my sister work in a whorehouse than own another Taurus!
  • CHIRO1989CHIRO1989 Senior Member Posts: 12,621 Senior Member
    Did you scream like a bunch of girls at a Justin Bieber concert? :)
    I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that they turn away from their ways and live. Eze 33:11
  • Big ChiefBig Chief Senior Member Posts: 32,995 Senior Member
    CHIRO1989 wrote: »
    Did you scream like a bunch of girls at a Justin Bieber concert? :)

    Fer some reason I just wanna **** Slap that little twerp :devil: :jester:
    It's only true if it's on this forum where opinions are facts and facts are opinions
    Words of wisdom from Big Chief: Flush twice, it's a long way to the Mess Hall
    I'd rather have my sister work in a whorehouse than own another Taurus!
  • TeachTeach Senior Member Posts: 18,428 Senior Member
    This little tale comes to mind- - - -blatantly stolen from another website!



    Evil Mutant Attack Squirrel Of Death

    EVIL MUTANT ATTACK SQUIRREL OF DEATH

    I never dreamed that slowly cruising on my motorcycle through a residential
    neighborhood could be so incredibly dangerous!

    Little did I suspect.

    I was on Brice Street – a very nice neighborhood with perfect lawns and
    slow traffic. As I passed an oncoming car, a brown furry missile shot out
    from under it and tumbled to a stop immediately in front of me.

    It was a squirrel, and must have been trying to run across the road when
    it encountered the car. I really was not going very fast, but there was no
    time to brake or avoid it — it was that close. I hate to run over animals,
    and I really hate it on a motorcycle, but a squirrel should pose no danger
    to me. I barely had time to brace for the impact.

    Animal lovers, never fear. Squirrels, I discovered, can take care of
    themselves!

    Inches before impact, the squirrel flipped to his feet. He was standing on
    his hind legs and facing my oncoming Valkyrie with steadfast resolve in his
    beady little eyes. His mouth opened, and at the last possible second, he
    screamed and leapt! I am pretty sure the scream was squirrel for, “Banzai!”
    or maybe, “Die you gravy-sucking, heathen scum!” The leap was nothing short
    of spectacular… He shot straight up, flew over my windshield, and
    impacted me squarely in the chest. Instantly, he set upon me. If I did not
    know better, I would have sworn he brought 20 of his little buddies along
    for the attack. Snarling, hissing, and tearing at my clothes, he was a
    frenzy of activity. As I was dressed only in a light T-shirt, summer
    riding gloves, and jeans this was a bit of a cause for concern. This furry
    little tornado was doing some damage!

    Picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a
    T-shirt, and leather gloves, puttering at maybe 25 mph down a quiet
    residential street, and in the fight of his life with a squirrel.

    And losing…

    I grabbed for him with my left hand. After a few misses, I finally managed
    to snag his tail. With all my strength, I flung the evil rodent off to the
    left of the bike, almost running into the right curb as I recoiled from the
    throw.

    That should have done it. The matter should have ended right there. It
    really should have. The squirrel could have sailed into one of the
    pristinely kept yards and gone on about his business, and I could have
    headed home. No one would have been the wiser. But this was no ordinary
    squirrel. This was not even an ordinary angry squirrel.

    This was an EVIL MUTANT ATTACK SQUIRREL OF DEATH!

    Somehow he caught my gloved finger with one of his little hands and, with
    the force of the throw, swung around and with a resounding thump and an
    amazing impact, he landed squarely on my BACK and resumed his rather
    antisocial and extremely distracting activities. He also managed to take my
    left glove with him! The situation was not improved. Not improved at all.

    His attacks were continuing, and now I could not reach him. I was startled,
    to say the least. The combination of the force of the throw, only having
    one hand (the throttle hand) on the handlebars, and my jerking back
    unfortunately put a healthy twist through my right hand and into the
    throttle. A healthy twist on the throttle of a Valkyrie can only have one
    result.

    TORQUE.

    This is what the Valkyrie is made for, and she is very, very good at it.
    The engine roared and the front wheel left the pavement.

    The squirrel screamed in anger.

    The Valkyrie screamed in ecstasy.

    I screamed in, well, I just plain screamed.

    Now picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in
    jeans, a slightly squirrel-torn t-shirt, wearing only one leather glove and
    roaring at maybe 50 mph and rapidly accelerating down a quiet residential
    street on one wheel, with a demonic squirrel of death on his back.

    The man and the squirrel are both screaming bloody murder.

    With the sudden acceleration I was forced to put my other hand back on the
    handlebars and try to get control of the bike.

    This was leaving the mutant squirrel to his own devices, but I really did
    not want to crash into somebody’s tree, house, or parked car. Also, I had
    not yet figured out how to release the throttle… my brain was just simply
    overloaded. I did manage to mash the back brake, but it had little effect
    against the massive power of the big cruiser.

    About this time the squirrel decided that I was not paying sufficient
    attention to this very serious battle (maybe he was an evil mutant NAZI
    attack squirrel of death), and he came around my neck and got INSIDE my
    full-face helmet with me.

    As the faceplate closed part way, he began hissing in my face. I am quite
    sure my screaming changed intensity.

    It had little effect on the squirrel, however. The RPMs on the Dragon maxed
    out (since I was not bothering wi th shifting at the moment), so her front
    end started to drop.

    Now picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in
    jeans, a very raggedly torn T-shirt, wearing only one leather glove,
    roaring at probably 80 mph, still on one wheel, with a large puffy
    squirrel’s tail sticking out of the mostly closed full-face helmet. By now,
    the screams are probably getting a little hoarse.

    Finally I got the upper hand … I managed to grab his tail again, pulled
    him out of my helmet, and slung him to the left as hard as I could. This
    time it worked … sort-of.

    Spectacularly sort-of ..so to speak.

    Picture a new scene:

    You are a cop.

    You and your partner have pulled off on a quiet residential street and
    parked with your windows down to do some paperwork. Suddenly a large man
    on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a torn T-shirt
    flapping in the breeze, and wearing only one leather glove, moving at
    probably 80 mph on one wheel, and screaming bloody murder roars by, and
    with all his strength throws a live squirrel grenade directly into your
    police car.

    I heard screams.

    They weren’t mine…

    I managed to get the big motorcycle under control and dropped the front
    wheel to the ground. I then used maximum braking and skidded to a stop in a
    cloud of tire smoke at the stop sign of a busy cross street.

    I would have returned to ‘fess up’ (and to get my glove back). I really
    would have.

    Really…

    Except for two things.

    First, the cops did not seem interested or the slightest bit concerned
    about me at the moment. When I looked back, the doors on both sides of the
    patrol car were flung wide open. The cop from the passenger side was on his
    back, doing a crab walk into somebody’s front yard, quickly moving away
    from the car. The cop who had been in the driver’s sea t was standing in the
    street, aiming a riot shotgun at his own police car.

    So, the cops were not interested in me. They often insist to “let the
    professionals handle it” anyway.

    That was one thing. The other?

    Well, I could clearly see shredded and flying pieces of foam and upholstery
    from the back seat. But I could also swear I saw the squirrel in the back
    window, shaking his little fist at me.

    That is one dangerous squirrel.

    And now he has a patrol car.

    A somewhat shredded patrol car .. but it was all his.

    I took a deep breath, turned on my turn-signal, made a gentle right turn
    off of Brice Street, and sedately left the neighborhood
    .


    LOL!
    Jerry
  • samzheresamzhere Banned Posts: 10,923 Senior Member
    Great story!

    Squirrel inside the helmet reminds me of the time I was buzzing along the freeway on my Ninja, and I had the faceplate up on my helmet, sunglasses on, catching the breeze.

    And I also caught a wasp!

    That little sucker went straight into the gap between my head and helmet, and got stuck just adjacent my ear. And kept stinging and stinging me. I was in traffic and it took me maybe a couple minutes to get to the breakdown lane and stop, jerk off my helmet.

    Damn wasp was dead by then, having been mortally wounded by the initial impact with my big head, but he certainly did his best on the way out. My face swelled up like a balloon and hurt for days.
  • NCFUBARNCFUBAR Senior Member Posts: 4,324 Senior Member
    Well good thing it was only Rocky the flying squirrel. If Bullwinkle the moose was part of the assault that would have been far worse ... stretcher.gif ... :tooth:
    “The further a society drifts from truth ... the more it will hate those who speak it."
    - George Orwell
  • samzheresamzhere Banned Posts: 10,923 Senior Member
    Squirrels in the news! The latest Fox report on these errant little mammals -- speak of Rocky the Flying Squirrel:

    http://video.foxnews.com/v/4265093158001/hungry-squirrel-gets-ride-of-its-life/?intcmp=features#sp=show-clips
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