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6EQUJ5 - WOW! wrote: »
Heh, heh. Not what you're thinking. . . .
A few days ago we had our first "sensitivity" training meeting at work. Now, since I travel quite a bit, I had been lucky in the past and avoided such 'meetings' but now it seems the bastards have finally caught up with me.
After company gifts of coffee and doughnuts to break the uneasy atmosphere that was clearly felt in the room, two company HR goons were brought in to discuss "hurt fweeings" and "butt-hurticitis." We knew the meeting was coming and everyone was uneasy when the two snowflakes walked in. Immediately, butt-hurticitis trinkets in the form of labeled bracelets, pens, lapel pins, including a fancy schmancy holographic playing card, all with the phrase "RED MEANS STOP!" stenciled on the front and back, began to be handed out around the table.
When Nayshya came to me and started to place her 'Made in China' gifts in front of me, I simply and politely stated, "no thanks." Nayshya paused a bit. "Excuse me?," she asked. I repeated again - "no thanks." She asked if I was an employee and if I was on duty. I confirmed that I indeed was an employee and that "yes," I was in fact, 'on duty.' "Well, you have to take these" she stated, and then proceeded to 'invade my personal space' (ha!-the travesty) and place her trinkets in front of me on the table. I told her that I already have a pen, I don't wear jewelry or a hat, and I have a deck of playing cards at home. Nayshya simply ignored me and proceeded to go around the table placing the gifts. In one calm swoop of the hand I gathered up all the trinkets in front of me, stood up and calmly walked over to the trash bin and very slowly and deliberately opened my hand and let the items slip through my fingers into the trash and returned to my seat. After the muffled giggles and chuckles died down a few others followed suit and repeated my actions. The rest were busy looking over their new consolation prizes as if they had just won the state lottery. Nayshya's HR sidekick "Leonard" who sensed the growing mutiny, came to Nayshya's rescue. Leonard, who talked with a very pronounced lisp, tried to talk in a manly and stern manner brought in more giggles and chuckles. Leonard stated that after the meeting I was to talk to a manager about my actions. I stated that I was a manager. Leonard was tongue-tied. He regained his composure and asked what level I was.
After things had calmed down a bit, Nayshya and Leonard spoke about hurt fweeings and butt-hurticitis for the next half hour. They also (no b.s.) said that if any of us are offended by our fellow employee's we are to take out our handy-dandy "red-card" - hold it out to the offensive employee - and say the word, "STOP!" My god!
Long story short, I was called on the carpet along with Nayshya and Leonard to which they ratted me out to the big dog and said that my actions were disruptive and offensive. After the head honcho slapped my wrist a few times to Nayshya and Leonard's enjoyment, I promised to be a good boy in future meetings. After they left, Pete (the head honcho) and I laughed our asses off about the morning events and talked about fishing and my upcoming retirement.
Four more months and I retire and move to Idaho for good this time. We as a nation are doomed.
6EQUJ5 - WOW! wrote: »
Ha! It's all good.
Btw, didn't even realize you are from Idaho. I live in Meridian but currently staying in Arizona until I retire. Should be back by September - just in time for snow-pocalypse II. I hear Eagle is underwater right now.
Tugar wrote: »
Not quite. Parts of the Boise greenbelt are underwater though. Yes I live nearby.
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