Murphy's Law of. . .

BigslugBigslug Senior MemberPosts: 7,169 Senior Member
We shall kick off this collection of pessimism with:

Murphy's Law of Personal Hygiene #1: A container of deodorant will run empty after servicing an odd number of armpits.
WWJMBD?

"Nothing is safe from stupid." - Zee

Replies

  • bisleybisley Senior Member Posts: 10,767 Senior Member
    A roll of toilet paper will run out after one failed wipe.
  • Big ChiefBig Chief Senior Member Posts: 32,995 Senior Member
    Sticky subject :tooth:
    It's only true if it's on this forum where opinions are facts and facts are opinions
    Words of wisdom from Big Chief: Flush twice, it's a long way to the Mess Hall
    I'd rather have my sister work in a whorehouse than own another Taurus!
  • earlyearly Senior Member Posts: 4,950 Senior Member
    Today's modern entitlement motorist will slow down for the speed bump, but not the middle aged man crossing the road.:angry:
    My thoughts are generally clear. My typing, not so much.
  • roadkingroadking Senior Member Posts: 3,056 Senior Member
    Murphy was an optimist.
    Support your local Scouts!
  • shushshush Senior Member Posts: 6,259 Senior Member
    Bigslug wrote: »
    We shall kick off this collection of pessimism with:

    Murphy's Law of Personal Hygiene #1: A container of deodorant will run empty after servicing an odd number of armpits.

    431667_1851333860486_1754950960_926240_2091276399_n_zpsivcurkht.jpg~original

    cjp wrote: »..... Oh dear God, I've admitted to liking something Limey.I'll never hear the end of this.

    Jayhawker wrote: »...But seriously Shush....

    Big Chief wrote: ».........walking around with a greasy butt ain't no fun, though!

     


     

  • TeachTeach Senior Member Posts: 18,428 Senior Member
    "Constants aren't- - - - -Variables won't!"
    Hide and wail in terror, Eloi- - - -We Morlocks are on the hunt!
    ASK-HOLE Someone who asks for advice and always does something opposite
  • zorbazorba Senior Member Posts: 20,160 Senior Member
    Teach wrote: »
    "Constants aren't- - - - -Variables won't!"

    Universal parts aren't - interchangeable parts won't.
    -Zorba, "The Veiled Male"

    "If you get it and didn't work for it, someone else worked for it and didn't get it..."
  • zorbazorba Senior Member Posts: 20,160 Senior Member
    Whittaker's 1st law: Given a 50/50 chance, you'll go wrong 90% of the time!

    The 90/90 rule of project schedules: The first 90% of the project takes 90% of the time (and resources/money/etc). The last 10% takes the other 90%.
    -Zorba, "The Veiled Male"

    "If you get it and didn't work for it, someone else worked for it and didn't get it..."
  • tennmiketennmike Senior Member Posts: 26,235 Senior Member
    This was designed on CAD-CAM software. We don't need to spend time building a model for a functional check. Put it in production now! :silly:
    If the U.S. Congress was put in charge of the Sahara Desert, there would be a shortage of sand in under six months.



  • breamfisherbreamfisher Senior Member Posts: 13,253 Senior Member
    The technician will have never encountered a problem like this with the piece of gear that's giving you problems. Especially if it's a "newer, better" model.
    Overkill is underrated.
  • NNNN Senior Member Posts: 24,003 Senior Member
    Murphy is my BIL
    A Veteran is someone that served in the Military, it does not matter where they served.
  • jaywaptijaywapti Senior Member Posts: 4,611 Senior Member
    Anything that can screw up , will screw up. Or

    JAY
    THE DEFINITION OF GUN CONTROL IS HITTING THE TARGET WITH YOUR FIRST SHOT
  • TeachTeach Senior Member Posts: 18,428 Senior Member
    The first cylinder head bolt the mechanic turns will break off- - - - -below the surface of the engine block. The phone call I got 10 minutes ago confirmed that!
    :bang: :angry: :cuss: :tissue:
    Jerry
    Hide and wail in terror, Eloi- - - -We Morlocks are on the hunt!
    ASK-HOLE Someone who asks for advice and always does something opposite
  • zorbazorba Senior Member Posts: 20,160 Senior Member
    Is it an aluminum block? :yikes:
    -Zorba, "The Veiled Male"

    "If you get it and didn't work for it, someone else worked for it and didn't get it..."
  • TeachTeach Senior Member Posts: 18,428 Senior Member
    Not sure- - - -the head is aluminum, and the engine uses "torque to yield" bolts that stretch one time and have to be replaced anytime the head comes off. He's getting a hardened steel centering fixture made up by a machinist to guide the drill bit, so the guy knows his stuff. He's going to do his best NOT to ruin the block! Since the bolt screw into the block, it's probably cast iron- - - -unless there are cast-in steel thread inserts in an aluminum block. It's a 4.2 Liter DOHC GM inline six. I offered to make the fixture for him- - - -I've got the machinery and some oil-hardening drill rod to work with, but the piece was already being made by the time he called.
    Jerry
    Hide and wail in terror, Eloi- - - -We Morlocks are on the hunt!
    ASK-HOLE Someone who asks for advice and always does something opposite
  • zorbazorba Senior Member Posts: 20,160 Senior Member
    Hopefully its iron - but a ton of "fun" either way...
    -Zorba, "The Veiled Male"

    "If you get it and didn't work for it, someone else worked for it and didn't get it..."
  • bobbyrlf3bobbyrlf3 Senior Member Posts: 2,475 Senior Member
    Your wife will sit in a room with you for an hour without speaking, then go to the bedroom and decide that is the time for you to have a conversation.
    Knowledge is essential to living freely and fully; understanding gives knowledge purpose and strength; wisdom is combining the two and applying them appropriately in words and actions.
  • TugarTugar Senior Member Posts: 1,893 Senior Member
    shush wrote: »
    431667_1851333860486_1754950960_926240_2091276399_n_zpsivcurkht.jpg~original

    He must live in South Florida. You need it there.
    Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery.
    Winston Churchill
  • snake284snake284 Senior Member Posts: 21,965 Senior Member
    shush wrote: »
    431667_1851333860486_1754950960_926240_2091276399_n_zpsivcurkht.jpg~original

    Reminds me of an old joke about a young girl's first day working in a hardware store. There were Frog Eyebrows and Moth balls involved...

    :jester:
    Daddy, what's an enabler?
    Son that's somebody with nothing to do with his time but keep me in trouble with mom.
  • NNNN Senior Member Posts: 24,003 Senior Member
    cpj wrote: »
    An hour without speaking? Riiiiight.

    Happens here all the time
    Clean falls asleep watching TV every night :applause:
    A Veteran is someone that served in the Military, it does not matter where they served.
  • bisleybisley Senior Member Posts: 10,767 Senior Member
    bobbyrlf3 wrote: »
    Your wife will sit in a room with you for an hour without speaking, then go to the bedroom and decide that is the time for you to have a conversation.

    This brings to mind an interesting point.

    How do you know that she has only been silent for an hour? It's completely possible that she has been giving you the silent treatment for several hours (or days) without you noticing. Haven't you ever had one of those vague feelings of contentment that you couldn't quite quantify the reasons for? Serendipity? You know, after several years of marriage, you learn not to look a gift horse in the mouth - meaning that you have a vague sense of something nice happening, and you aren't about to question it, for fear it will go away. This can become a dangerous habit, because all of the signs of an eruption are present, but you have conditioned yourself not to see them.

    It's kind of like wondering if the light in the refrigerator really does go off when you shut the door.
  • Farm Boy DeuceFarm Boy Deuce Senior Member Posts: 6,083 Senior Member
    Teach wrote: »
    Not sure- - - -the head is aluminum, and the engine uses "torque to yield" bolts that stretch one time and have to be replaced anytime the head comes off. He's getting a hardened steel centering fixture made up by a machinist to guide the drill bit, so the guy knows his stuff. He's going to do his best NOT to ruin the block! Since the bolt screw into the block, it's probably cast iron- - - -unless there are cast-in steel thread inserts in an aluminum block. It's a 4.2 Liter DOHC GM inline six. I offered to make the fixture for him- - - -I've got the machinery and some oil-hardening drill rod to work with, but the piece was already being made by the time he called.
    Jerry

    Pretty certain those are aluminum blocks.
    I am afraid we forget sometime that the basic and simple things brings us the most pleasure.
    Dad 5-31-13
  • TeachTeach Senior Member Posts: 18,428 Senior Member
    I hope it won't be necessary to install a Helicoil- - - - -getting those things right can be tricky, even if the resulting thread is stronger than original.
    Jerry
    Hide and wail in terror, Eloi- - - -We Morlocks are on the hunt!
    ASK-HOLE Someone who asks for advice and always does something opposite
  • tennmiketennmike Senior Member Posts: 26,235 Senior Member
    Three of my favorites from Douglas Adams, while not stated as Murphy's Laws, are pretty spot on.

    A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. Douglas Adams

    Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. Douglas Adams

    The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at and repair.
    Douglas Adams
    If the U.S. Congress was put in charge of the Sahara Desert, there would be a shortage of sand in under six months.



  • bullsi1911bullsi1911 Moderator Posts: 9,855 Senior Member
    cpj wrote: »
    An hour without speaking? Riiiiight.

    without speaking to YOU. She will be on the phone with her mom.
    To make something simple is a thousand times more difficult than to make something complex.
    -Mikhail Kalashnikov
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