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Suicide or Personal Choice?

NCFUBARNCFUBAR Senior MemberPosts: 4,324 Senior Member
I just got a call from an ex-coworker’s daughter who committed suicide. He wanted me to be a pallbearer which I will do and pay my last respects. My problem is Sid had to go out on disability because he had contracted ALS and it progressed quick on him. In about 3 years he went from an active man to a shell in a wheel chair who was looking at respiratory problems were he was going to be going on a respirator in the near future. He saved up some of his meds and yesterday took them. While I tear up for his death I can only think he made his own choice and I can accept that and I can’t be sure but by her tone and words I think his daughter might also. Am I wrong to feel for his passing but to also think he chose to not suffer and respect it. I know it’s Biblically wrong but some how I gotta feel God will understand.

God speed Sid ...
“The further a society drifts from truth ... the more it will hate those who speak it."
- George Orwell

Replies

  • TeachTeach Senior Member Posts: 18,428 Senior Member
    He did nothing overt like overdosing, but when my father was faced with the possibility of going on a very risky form of dialysis after his kidneys failed at almost age 90, he chose to bring in Hospice to keep him comfortable, and spent his final few weeks in relative peace with us by his side. My younger brother called that "suicide", and got very angry and emotional about his decision not to do the dialysis. The rest of the family was much more understanding, and we respected his wishes. It's a hard thing to do!
    Jerry
  • BAMAAKBAMAAK Senior Member Posts: 4,484 Senior Member
    One of the few (only) liberal concepts I can agree with.

    RIP Sid:angel2:
    "He only earns his freedom and his life Who takes them every day by storm."

    -- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, German writer and politician
  • zorbazorba Senior Member Posts: 24,985 Senior Member
    cpj wrote: »
    Die in relative peace, or be slowly tortured to death by a machine? Easy choice for me.

    Yep, me too.
    -Zorba, "The Veiled Male"

    "If you get it and didn't work for it, someone else worked for it and didn't get it..."
    )O(
  • terminator012terminator012 Senior Member Posts: 3,930 Senior Member
    My mom ( who's totally healthy now) brings this up every once in awhile in case it happens to her. I'm on the fence about the whole idea but realize that I may have to deal with it in the near future. To leave this world in peace without much pain would be my wish.
  • EliEli Senior Member Posts: 3,074 Senior Member
    I'm a nurse in a nursing home. I see, on a daily basis, the result of living past your mental and physical capabilities...the idea of being mentally sound, but physically unable is the most terrifying thing that I can possibly imagine.

    I have no children, and never intend to...mainly because I truly have no interest in raising them, but also I want to keep the option of "a short walk in the woods with a shotgun" open, and don't think I could do that if I had children.
  • waipapa13waipapa13 Senior Member Posts: 915 Senior Member
    I'm sorry about your friend NC,
    In a case like you say I have no issue and respect the decision.

    As a young teen I watched my grandfather go from a strong, active and healthy man to quivering and eventually near motionless and speechless shell due to Parkinson's disease, yet be completely lucid, carrying him to the dinner table in my arms and having to hold and sort out his feed tube is something I'll never forget, as is the guilt of eating in front of him.

    I'll not put my family through that, and I won't put myself through that, if I ever end up down that road I'll be having a "hunting accident", if he had his time again I think Grandad would be the same.
  • bisleybisley Senior Member Posts: 10,813 Senior Member
    For the most part, I have always considered suicide to be selfish and cowardly, for the scars it leaves on the loved ones left behind. But, I have moderated quite a bit, after more than my fair share of seeing older folks lose the dignity that they have lived their entire lives with. Some of them are just too tough to die peacefully, when everything else that made life worth living has left them.

    At a certain point, the amount of medication needed to prevent suffering intersects with the amount needed to cause death, and a good doctor probably just lets that happen, with a clear conscience.
  • joeg52joeg52 Member Posts: 109 Member
    bisley wrote: »
    At a certain point, the amount of medication needed to prevent suffering intersects with the amount needed to cause death, and a good doctor probably just lets that happen, with a clear conscience.

    This^
  • CHIRO1989CHIRO1989 Senior Member Posts: 14,204 Senior Member
    If it comes to that, I hope I have enough gas left in my tank to sling on a pack and a rifle and take a long walk in the mountains on a cold day.
    I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that they turn away from their ways and live. Eze 33:11
  • bullsi1911bullsi1911 Moderator Posts: 12,043 Senior Member
    I understand it, I don't think anyone should stop someone from checking out, don't think that the Govt should step in, but it is not for me. Suicide is a sin, but that's between me and God.

    Plus, I'm the kind to not give up. Fight until it takes me.
    To make something simple is a thousand times more difficult than to make something complex.
    -Mikhail Kalashnikov
  • FisheadgibFisheadgib Senior Member Posts: 5,797 Senior Member
    bullsi1911 wrote: »
    I understand it, I don't think anyone should stop someone from checking out, don't think that the Govt should step in, but it is not for me. Suicide is a sin, but that's between me and God.


    This is where I'm at. I lost both of my parents last year and they had done the "do not revive" paperwork several years ago to avoid being kept in a vegetative state once their systems started to shut down.
    snake284 wrote: »
    For my point of view, cpj is a lot like me
    .
  • bobbyrlf3bobbyrlf3 Senior Member Posts: 2,591 Senior Member
    I told my wife a long time ago that I never want to be kept alive by a machine. Let me go, we'll see each other again in heaven. Unless she sells my guns after I'm dead...:tooth:
    Knowledge is essential to living freely and fully; understanding gives knowledge purpose and strength; wisdom is combining the two and applying them appropriately in words and actions.
  • snake284snake284 Senior Member Posts: 22,429 Senior Member
    I'm not saying it's right or wrong, because I truly don't know Gods mind. But like was said, is it suicide or do we call it personal choice? I don't know at this point. I know I can't point the finger at anyone's choice and it's between everyone and God.

    Having said all that, I feel sorta like Bullsi. I'd be waitng for the miracle cure to come along at the last minute or lightning to strike out of the clear blue.
    Daddy, what's an enabler?
    Son that's somebody with nothing to do with his time but keep me in trouble with mom.
  • FFLshooterFFLshooter Member Posts: 1,057 Senior Member
    Suicide is a personal choice so I’m not sure I understand the difference. But saying that, nobody knows what’s in the heart of a person that’s in that scenario besides himself and his maker. I’d never condemn a person for not wanting to suffer unto death. The sad fact is that there is no dignity in dying most times and from what I’ve witnessed in my time here is that most people go through “once a man, twice a child”. I’d rather die then to suffer living a sufferable existence.
  • ilove22silove22s Senior Member Posts: 1,507 Senior Member
    IMO, its a personal choice.

    some people project their beliefs on others and expect them to abide by a belief not theirs, if they have any.

    in the end its between the person and their deity, if they have or believe in one.
    The ears never lie.

    - Don Burt
  • Gene LGene L Senior Member Posts: 12,575 Senior Member
    NCFUBAR wrote: »
    I just got a call from an ex-coworker’s daughter who committed suicide. He wanted me to be a pallbearer which I will do and pay my last respects. My problem is Sid had to go out on disability because he had contracted ALS and it progressed quick on him. In about 3 years he went from an active man to a shell in a wheel chair who was looking at respiratory problems were he was going to be going on a respirator in the near future. He saved up some of his meds and yesterday took them. While I tear up for his death I can only think he made his own choice and I can accept that and I can’t be sure but by her tone and words I think his daughter might also. Am I wrong to feel for his passing but to also think he chose to not suffer and respect it. I know it’s Biblically wrong but some how I gotta feel God will understand.

    God speed Sid ...

    Misplaced modifiers....at first read, I thought his daughter had committed suicide.

    But having went through a Hospice situation, it cuts both ways. A Hospice nurse said that in the final days, an understanding of the hereafter is reached in some cases. It didn't happen (that I know of) in my wife's situation, but she didn't want suicide, either. I'm an old man now and don't want to dribble my way in the end of life but neither do I want to put a gun to my head for the sake of my child/grand children. And I doubt my courage in that regard. So, we'll see. Hopefully, I'll die in my sleep.
    Concealed carry is for protection, open carry is for attention.
  • BigslugBigslug Senior Member Posts: 9,327 Senior Member
    I'm a firm supporter of the John Browning Assisted Living Program. Sometimes sticking it out is in no one's interests.
    WWJMBD?

    "Nothing is safe from stupid." - Zee
  • LinefinderLinefinder Moderator Posts: 7,749 Senior Member
    I don't know how government or religion even considers itself an authority on the most personal choice a person could make.

    Mike
    "Walking away seems to be a lost art form."
    N454casull
  • jaywaptijaywapti Senior Member Posts: 5,032 Senior Member
    Having watched 2 uncles waste away on life support because the family, for what ever reasons refused to let them go, I made the decision that it wouldn't happen to me. Everyone in my family knows, understands and respects my feelings on the subject, I am 80 years old, have led a great and active life, when I feel I cannot take care of myself and will become a burden, its time to go.

    JAY
    THE DEFINITION OF GUN CONTROL IS HITTING THE TARGET WITH YOUR FIRST SHOT
  • zorbazorba Senior Member Posts: 24,985 Senior Member
    jaywapti wrote: »
    Having watched 2 uncles waste away on life support because the family, for what ever reasons refused to let them go, I made the decision that it wouldn't happen to me. Everyone in my family knows, understands and respects my feelings on the subject, I am 80 years old, have led a great and active life, when I feel I cannot take care of myself and will become a burden, its time to go.

    JAY

    Yep - I'll remove myself from modern amenities if I have to, go off into the wilderness...
    -Zorba, "The Veiled Male"

    "If you get it and didn't work for it, someone else worked for it and didn't get it..."
    )O(
  • JayhawkerJayhawker Moderator Posts: 18,118 Senior Member
    Subjecting myself and my family to the "breathing for dollars" routine ain't gonna happen.....
    Sharps Model 1874 - "The rifle that made the west safe for Winchester"
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