I knew the truce wouldn’t last

Jeff in TX · December 2018

Shoot we didn’t make it to Xmas dinner before my sister blew up the truce. She couldn’t resist herself. Got this text this morning!

Got to say I’m done with her for awhile.

Jayhawker · December 2018

They just can't help themselves.....

FFLshooter · December 2018

Yet we are the deranged ones...

Jermanator · December 2018

While I can't stand Trump, she needs to let that crap go. It isn't healthy. The people wearing the red hats aren't helping to unify the country either-- like the idiots in the Obama hats.

NN · December 2018

Bet you baited her

tennmike · December 2018

My sister, her husband, and I havn't set down to Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner together since 1995, except for a Thanksgiving dinner at her youngest son's house once in the late 1990's. To say that you couldn't cut the tension with a BIG chainsaw is an understatement. Isn't politically driven, either. And I don't see that get together happening in the future, either. HER decision, not mine. And when our Mom died in 2003 she burned the bridge with a 100 megaton nuke. We talk on the telephone on rare occasions and on rarer occasions in person. Her living 750+ miles away is a good thing, for me. No way I can fix it; I've tried. If someone hates you, family included, it just seems to make sense to avoid being around them.

Jeff in TX · December 2018

Wambli Ska said:

Dear sister. You need to respect my political views as much as I respect your decision to go through life as an ignorant, emotionally driven moron.

So let’s reach a truce. You stop sending me your political nonsense and I’ll keep the fact that I know you are an idiot to myself...

Merry Christmas, Love me...

I'm going to borrow that one to send to her if you don't mind!

NN,

No, I did not bait her as I haven't had any contact since we scheduled X-mas dinner. If I was a betting man I'd say her husband got her riled up as I don't think he wants to come to X-mas dinner or have it happen.

My wife just said no to x-mas dinner as she doesn't get the whole political thing and she doesn't want to be around when the rockets red glare!

Just not worth my time and effort on this one!

timc · December 2018

I’d send her back a picture of Hillary with the caption....
”Better a demon than the devil herself!”

Jeff in TX · December 2018

Well I I got a scathing text from left wing sis this morning. I’m back out of her life. My wife said imagine that, she said I didn’t even need a crystal ball to see that one coming.

To many important things I need to get done today, tomorrow and the rest of my life to worry about her left-wing bipolar political disorder!

as a lot of you said, the truce lines couldn’t hold!

bisley · December 2018

Jeff,

I am more or less estranged from my own sister, although not over politics, and not on any sort of visceral level, as your sister seems to have engaged in. We can still have polite conversation, and can still laugh about a few of the common experiences we had during childhood, but we rarely do, even though we are only about 75 miles apart.

Much of it stems from her and her husband's failure to discipline their children and grandchildren, years ago. I'm 'old school,' when it comes to requiring respect from children, and her kids' and grand kids' lack of respect for me, my property, and my own children and grand children, led me to take remedial action towards them, on several occasions, and she was apparently offended by it, although it never seemed so, at the time, or this estrangement would have occurred early on. The irony of it is that I now see her grown-up kids about as often as she does, and they often seek out my advice, rather than hers.

All I really have to offer is that the relationships you were born into are sacred, and require a great deal more forbearance than most other relationships. In our case, we both realize that without the 'blood bond,' we would likely never see each other again. Out of respect for our deceased parents, we avoid the subjects we will never agree upon, as best we can. They always creep in, eventually, but we almost never let it go very far. In the cases where they do, we seem to extend the separation times between us. Even so, I would be there for her in a time of need, and likely she would do the same. Even if she wouldn't, I still would.

All I'm saying is that, however harsh the words are, and however much you both may need to stay apart, there may eventually come a time when one of you will need the other, and if you ignore that, it will haunt you, and make you less happy, overall. Also, as long as you don't escalate your own animosity too far, she may someday have a much needed epiphany, and come out of the psychosis that seems to be gripping her, now.

As always, please feel free to disregard this bit of Internet advice - it is probably worth exactly what you paid for it.

zorba · December 2018

I totally agree with Bisley's words.

With that said:

Sometimes, there comes a point of no-return, "blood" or not. Such was with my late Mother - who had borderline personality disorder and refused to admit it even to herself and get some kind of help. There was absolutely ZERO reasoning with her, because she'd change the rules to keep the chaos flowing (classic BPD).

To have my peace in my life, I had to cut off all contact, and didn't see or directly hear from her for the last 10 years of her life - although she raged at the boundaries I'd set, but that was the only boundary I could enforce.

Goddess knows it cost me, but it would have cost me more to continue to subject myself and my family to her. She's been gone from this earth for almost 10 years, and a couple of "sensitives" claim she's very sorry for her behavior - which isn't surprising as the spiritual world gives clarity. I'm *STILL* trying to forgive her, the best I've done thus far is to be a bit less angry - I'm working on it. At this point, I do NOT want that soul waiting for me at the "pearly gates" - may the Good Goddess Bless and Keep her...

... FAR away from me!

As for my sibling, she is quite a bit older than I am, being of the so-called "First Cohort" of the "Baby Boomers", whereas I'm of the "Second Cohort". The two "Cohorts" really should have been called something completely separate, as they have little in common with each other. She came of age in the 60s, with all the Liberal crap that entails. I came of age in the 70s. Aside from an utter distrust of all Gov't, large and small, we don't have a lot in common politically. But we manage to have good conversations regardless.

zorba · December 2018

cpj said:

And on the flip side, I’ve got MUCH better “family” that ARE NOT blood relatives.

THAT'S for darn sure!

Diver43 · December 2018

cpj said:

I’ve never really understood the whole “but they are family, the only ones you have” line of thinking.

Thats not how I think. Blood doesn’t bind you to people. I can, and have, dismissed family just the same as I’ve dismissed people who I thought were friends. It sucks a bit at first, but I’ve learned it’s far easier to let them go than to keep beating your head against the wall.

And on the flip side, I’ve got MUCH better “family” that ARE NOT blood relatives.

CPJ speaketh the truth. I have so called close family that has treated me like crap since I was a boy. It used to be "but they are family", but no more. We talk on the phone occasionally,but we do not even visit for Holidays anymore. It sucks, It is sad, but as much as I hate the expression, it is, what it is

Jermanator · December 2018

I will give family a bit more room before I call it quits, but I will call it quits. Blood doesn't mean I have to put up with your crap unconditionally.

FFLshooter · December 2018

I’m suing my brother in laws insurance company over an expensive incident that wasn’t any bit of my fault (long story). You’d think that I was personally going after him in a civil suit demanding his house and possessions, he’s so pissed. I’m not upset though because he’s a little beta male and his wife is someone that I loathe with a passion. In other words, family can be a bitch.

Jayhawker · December 2018

It seems that most families have at least one member that thrives on drama/ chaos...and if there is no drama or chaos to be had they will damn well create it. When that same person has control issues, you have a monster on your hands.

We have a person like that in the family and it was extremely frustrating for them to find out that my wife and I do not participate in drama, family-related or not, nor will we enable the controlling nature of the adult children of alcoholics in the family..

Michakav · December 2018

zorba said:

I totally agree with Bisley's words.
With that said:
Sometimes, there comes a point of no-return, "blood" or not. Such was with my late Mother - who had borderline personality disorder and refused to admit it even to herself and get some kind of help. There was absolutely ZERO reasoning with her, because she'd change the rules to keep the chaos flowing (classic BPD).

I have been in the same boat with my mother for decades. I believe she is still living but have not had any recent updates. She suffers from depression and bipolar. It was a nightmare growing up with her and we NEVER got along. I eventually got to live my dad, which is all I EVER wanted, at 16 yrs. old after I went off the rails with using drugs, failing school and getting into trouble. That turned my life around in a matter of months. I gave her some rope here and there but I always got burnt. Have not had contact in several years. My 10 year younger sister has done the same the last couple years.

Toxic is toxic, no matter if blood or not!

jbp-ohio · December 2018

I imagine I am the Black Sheep tonight. Went to Thanksgiving and one of the crumb munchers coughed in my face and I've had a cough since.

Every time a kid showed up last night everyone asked, ''How are you feeling? Still sick?''

We bailed............

bisley · December 2018

I'm really only saying that family members and very close friends are given my best efforts at calmness and moderation. Certainly, anyone can display unreasonable levels of contempt for anyone else, regardless of 'blood.' There is a finite amount of contempt that anyone should have to deal with, from anybody.

I just avoid 'lines in the sand' for as long as possible, with people I have had important common experiences with. On the rare occasions when I have 'written off' someone who I believe has betrayed the bond that I believed we had, I have always wondered if maybe I was too prideful. It's just better to be as sure as possible, because it leaves a certain amount 'emptiness,' whether justified or not.

zorba · December 2018

I don't know about "prideful", but sometimes you have to take care of yourself and put the poison at an acceptable distance. But yes, it does indeed leave emptiness...

CaliFFL · December 2018

Jeff in TX said:

Shoot we didn’t make it to Xmas dinner before my sister blew up the truce. She couldn’t resist herself. Got this text this morning!

Got to say I’m done with her for awhile.

Just ask her if she supports Trump's bump stock ban. See if she implodes.

Armoredman · January 2019

Haven't had a family gathering in years. Everyone is pretty much dead, parents, step parent, brother, and the rest on the wife's side disowned us. No tree, no lights, her parents died right next to Christmas, so she can't take the strain of the holidays. Christmas I spent at home making burgers and drinking some rum while watching NetFlix.

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